Disrespectfully - Ariana Madix, What Are You Doing Here? | Episode 21
2024-05-29 01:23:33
Welcome to "Disrespectfully," hosted by Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan. These two besties have been through their fair share of life experiences. The good, the bad, and the unhinged. In Disrespectfully, they build off those lessons to discuss being unapologetically yourself, getting it wrong, career, mental health, relationships, sex, and whatever else they feel like. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably crack a bottle of wine- join Katie and Dayna as they share new episodes Wednesday’s wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to email us problems, questions, or anything you need advice on at DISRESPECTFULLYPOD@GMAIL.COM and we shall answer them on the pod!
Hi. Hi. It's a special day. It's a very special day. For a bunch of reasons.
Yeah, obviously. It's always a special day. Obviously. But we should talk about why. Should we talk about why?
Yeah.
Ariana, what are you doing here? Welcome to Disrespectfully, with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan. Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do, spilling the tea. Babe, you're gonna see the power of women, like disrespectfully. Did you plan that?
No. It just occurred to me. Well, honestly, even if I had never met you, that's something I say at least four times a day. Mm-hmm. Like, once you say that's something that's in your vernacular, Ariana, what are you doing here when it has nothing to do with you?
Mm-hmm.
I'm always thinking it. Always thinking it. Always thinking it. Always thinking it. But anyways, we're happy you're here.
Thanks for having me. I'm a big fan. I know, you are. You're always such a supporter. You're always, like, talking about our, you know, episodes and everything.
You interact with our socials, I think, more than anyone else.
I know. You guys are like, you. slay me.
Lily, I see you in bed, like,
seriously, that is me. She teehee's in bed. I teehee at all of your TikToks and your episodes. They're the funniest podcast I know.
I mean, we paid her to say that. It is what it is. Speaking of, like, getting paid and whatnot, we have so much to get into today, and I'm excited, but I'm sitting here with, like, the owners of the new hottest spot in town. Something About Her, and yesterday you guys had your official opening. I saw a bunch of videos, obviously, but, like, because we went to the soft opening, so I have been waiting 12 hours for this story, so please tell me everything.
What's the business? How was yesterday? The highs, the lows? Spare no details.
Well, I mean, we didn't know what to expect, and I know that sounds crazy, but truly, we're like, okay, I'm sure, like, we'll have a pretty decent turnout. I mean, people have been anticipating as much as we have, but, like, we could not have anticipated or expected the turnout that we had. People started lining up at 8 a.m. Mm-hmm. And then by the time I got there, closer to 10, the line was probably, I don't know, 75 people deep.
And that's, it opens at 10? Yeah. Right?
Okay, so two hours earlier. So it's basically a Taylor Swift concert.
Yeah, and of course we walk in, we're having issues with our POS, like, our main terminal was not working. We luckily had these, like, portable handheld ones, so we were able to do that,
but then the tickets weren't printing in the kit. It was, like, all these things that had never been a problem. the entire time decided to, like, hey, you know, like, at 9 a.m., like, an hour before you guys open, you know, it'd be, like, really cool and fun if I, just, like, didn't work. Mm-hmm.
So, obviously, we were still able to let people in, but it was gonna have to be a slower process. We didn't want to have to overwhelm the staff or the kitchen, and we wanted everyone that was coming in to have a really lovely experience and not, like, overcrowd everything, or it's a small space, you know. So, we tried to let everybody know that before we even opened the doors.
Yeah, we just wanted to, like, look, we're a small space, and that's by design, you know. We didn't want to overextend ourselves on our first business like this venture together, and so we were excited about having this, like, small, cozy space, and so very quickly we get full, and that's great. We love that. That also means that we have to kind of, like, you know, we have to gauge what's the flow of things, you know, and, you know, we had Jamie, our chef, back there, our amazing staff, Parker, Dulce, Josh, like, in the kitchen, just, like, turning out sandwiches. I think they made, like, 300 sandwiches or something.
Yeah, and by, like, two. Yeah.
We were running out of things. We're having to 86, like, half of the menu.
Did you guys sell out completely by the end of the day?
Almost.
Yeah, so by, we knew that we were starting to talk about, okay, because the line was now towards, it was almost at Sir, which is a block away. Yeah, it was, you know, and we just knew there's no way we're going to get through all these people, so we knew that we were going to.
have to cut the line off, and so we gave it till, you know, three o'clock, and then we were like, okay, realistically, how many people are we going to actually be able to, because we didn't want to have people waiting outside for much longer, if we know, you know, so once we started to be able to understand, like, what exactly we will be able to handle in that last hour, we were like, let's go outside, we'll talk to people. Obviously, we would love to be able to have everybody in there, but we're open from 10 to 4, and, you know, it's the first day, and it was so awesome and cool to see how many people wanted to come and support and get sandwiches and come inside, and so, you know, eventually, I think we'll be able to get everybody, but it's just crazy. It's like the best problem to have, you know, it's almost like, oh, we need to actually maybe have more seats, we need to maybe have a bigger space, like, that's a great problem to have than the opposite of being like, no one's coming. And, of course, our whole thing was like, well,
how do we make it so? people aren't waiting hours and hours and hours, and we didn't know when to call it. or, you know, we didn't want to discourage people. Having to turn people away is heartbreaking and devastating for them, for us, for everything, but we just didn't anticipate that, and we wanted to give it as much time as possible just to see how we could get as many people in and out as we possibly could. So, obviously, it being our first time at this and, you know, and our staff and everyone, no one really knew how to handle the situation in the best way possible, and so we went out there and met.
everyone, took pictures with them. I mean, that's all we could do at that point. Yeah. It's just, if we couldn't meet them inside, let's meet them outside, and we obviously didn't even know, like, how far the line went back. We could peek our head out, and that's when we saw, like, that the line was going back there.
We're like, okay, this is not going to happen today.
Yeah. Everybody was so nice about it. Yeah. Like, an understanding of, like, some people were like, I mean, when I got in this line, I kind of thought, it's not. Yeah.
But, and I was like, that made us feel, I think, a lot better, because I think we were so nervous about going out there and having to say that, like, we won't be able to get to them that day, and so it was awesome how nice they were about it. Understanding, yeah. It's scary. It's a scary feeling, being like, oh, we're.
going to disappoint people. You walk out there, they just slap you in the face. They're like,
fuck you. I mean, you know. Fuck it, Sam. Well, because when we find out that people had, like, traveled, or they were just here for the one day, and you're just like, oh, like, it sucks, you know, but we really appreciate everyone coming and spending hours waiting. It's just, that's a really wonderful feeling, and, you know, we hope that we can one day provide each and every.
one of them with the best sandwich ever. Yeah. Well, it's, I guess, that the moral of the story.
is the early bird gets the meg, just is what it is. Okay, then I want to know from the day, from each of you, what was your high point? Because, obviously, the low point was not being able to get to everyone in the POS system. So, like, each of you, individually, like, what was your moment that?
you were like, holy shit? I feel like there was a moment when we were, like, holding more menus or something, when you were like, are you crying? No, you came and gave me a hug, and you're like,
and she just had, like, tears in her eyes, and I was like, are you crying? She was like,
I've been crying all day. Yeah, I was crying, like, all morning. She, like, takes a ciabatta.
and is like, oh god, we need those, I can't. No, yeah, we're running low. No, but it was, I don't know if there was a particular moment, but it was just kind of seeing everyone in there, and everyone having a good time, and enjoying everything. I mean, there was not a crumb left on any of those trays. People were just really taking in this space, and enjoying it, and it was just like, that was the reaction I was hoping that we would get, when we could finally have people in there, and open up the doors, and, you know, that's, you know, the kind of gratification and response that you want to have after all this time.
That was the biggest, the anticipation, and the whole, this whole time of, like, when people are asking for updates, and wanting details, and wanting all that, and not being able to give it to them, and just trying to, like, give them as much detail as you possibly could, but just, like, just wait, you're gonna love it, and then having that moment of just seeing everyone's face in there, that, for me. Can we be a little messy,
please? Like, she doesn't choose violence as much as we do, but, like, in as nice ways you want to. Was it not just, like, a little satisfying, in terms of the people who have been annoying as fuck for the entire, like, year or two? this has been going on? Somewhat, but those people in?
particular, have now just moved the goalpost. Meaning what? In terms of, like, what they're gonna say, or hate on, or whatever. Like, they've got those, those people in particular, you know, the real die-hard trolls, they've. now, they've moved the goalpost to, it's not gonna last, or they've.
moved the goalpost to.
. Oh, let's see how long they last. Like, things like that, you know what I mean? Oh, great, they got it open, but let's see how long it lasts. Oh, yeah, they keep, you know, they're returning people.
They're just now, it's, that doesn't mean when people want to hate, they're gonna hate on anything. They're gonna find things they hate on,
and it's just.
. It was never really about that thing, yeah, initially. It's just now, it's about trying to find something else. Yeah. It's like that, right, when people are like, they can never make me hate you.
It's like, some people are just like, they could never make me not hate you. They could never make me not hate you. Yeah, they're like, that's what they're gonna do. You could save 50 babies from a burning building, and they'll be like,
don't you think she could have gotten 51?
? Yeah, actually. Yeah, and those people are probably...
That was an actually hard part. And those people are probably never going to come in. Right. You know, they're, I don't think I'll ever meet those people anyway, so I don't care. Good, go to.
Subway. I don't want to, like, give it too much air, but it just, it's been frustrating, as someone who loves you both, and knows the vision, and, behind closed doors, knows what you guys have gone through to get this off the ground. I'm like, I'm reposting, I'm hearting, I'm liking, I'm commenting, I'm subscribing. It's great, but I'm glad you guys are a bigger person than me. You know, I mean, I'm glad that you're...
Not. Great. Yeah, no, of course it's validating, of course it's vindicating to be like, you know, to put two fingers up and be like, you know, told you so. But I wasn't for those people. It's for the people that were going to come in and eventually love.
It was for us. It was for, yeah, everybody that wants to come and eat sandwiches. It wasn't for the haters. Totally. Of course.
It seems like.
you guys felt the love, and I hope you did. It wasn't just from what seemed to be in person, but also just online. Like, collectively, people are so excited about it. We got some, like, really.
great reviews from people who, you know, are not easy to impress. Like, the Eater LA review was incredible, and that was one I was, like, really nervous about, just because they were very honest. And so that felt really nice to be, like, feel seen. My favorite sandwich place in New York is one that has, I think they have, like, two or three sandwiches basically, like, on the menu, and they, sometimes it's, like, it's, like, 12, 30, and they're, like, we're closed. We're sold out.
And that, I mean, like, I get it, but I hate it. I get, but I also, I always feel, like, not cool, but I feel, like, ah, see, and that's why I got my sandwich at nine o'clock in the morning.
I mean, that's just what it is, I guess, you know. When you're a smaller place, hey. You can only, like, again, we have a tiny kitchen, therefore we can only have so many bodies back there on the line making sandwiches. We can only prep so much, you know, in the time that they have to do it. There's only so much that we can do, even, like, even if they prepped for a week, that's going to go in a day.
if we tried to, like, feed all of the line, you know. That's, you know, so we have to just be able to accommodate what we can do in a day, therefore.
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Okay, girls, we have so much to talk about. I know. Can I share one thing that I saw this morning that was kind of disturbing, that I was completely unaware of? Yes. On our favorite home and gardens.
TikTok. This is just like purely anecdotal, but like. somehow I was on tan talk and this guy that worked at a tanning salon and he was like, I worked there for a really long time and he's like, apparently like shitting in tanning beds is like a big thing, or they shit in the trash cans. What? And people were in the comments like, oh yeah, no, no, I work at a tanning salon.
Like people like, are shitting in the trash cans. Yeah. And he's like, he's like, yeah, this woman shit in the tanning bed. And he's like, there's corn in it. Alright, this is so gross.
Okay, wait. I don't, he's like, yeah, and the, the, the beds. Like.
when they're laying there tanning. Yeah. They just have a boobie. They have. They're only in.
there for 20 minutes max. Yeah. You get the tingle lotion on your butthole and you just lose your faculties. Like what is actually happening? I don't, I'm so confused.
And then the bath,
like the trash basket for like your, or your, your like bonnet or whatever the hell. Like.
people, it's like, it's like, again, yeah, you're only in there for a short amount of time. I can't.
imagine it being that much of an emergency. Like legally, you can't be in there for longer than 20.
minutes, I think. Right. So what would your guys' speculation be as to why someone would do that? Like, do you think it's something more of like a kink or like someone? they all, they just got to.
go? It can't be. It's that common. Right. Cause like the fact that it's that common, he, I don't know.
What do you think it is? I'm curious myself. I'm like, what? The beds are like, there's like, you're laying on like a plastic, like. So did, did they do it like at the end?
Did they do it in the middle and just like hang out? Like, I don't know. Was it, um, and then I have to.
imagine they're not actually laying down and just shooting out. I think if I'm a bedding woman, they're not that I've like done this, but they're like getting up and like squatting over the bed and doing it or into the basket. It, I mean, it has, they're squatting into, they're not laying.
down and they're like, well, I think like, oh, that was not a toot. Well, in terms of, it was.
they didn't just like trust a part. And then thanks for saying too. Yeah. Sorry. You don't like the word part.
Yeah. I hate that word. Sorry. Okay. He said also, he said that there was this one woman that was peeing and then like using the towel to like wipe it up or peeing on the towel.
And then she was like, throw up by the bed. And he said, this went on for years. Same person. So
this, so this person would go to the tanning salon, not use the restroom, and then just like go into the little room and just use that as like her bathroom. What's wrong with that? I don't.
know. He's like, these tanning salon patrons are cooked. Literally. Like their brain is like cooked or something from the bulbs. I don't know.
I mean, the fact that they're still using tanning.
beds, I would say, yes, their brain is cooked. Correct. I don't know. In my mind, it's like,
if I'm like, if I'm going to be laying here and if I like, think I might need to relieve myself beforehand, like use the bathroom. They have bathrooms there. Like it's wild. I don't know.
Also, I feel like the like nicer. tanning beds or higher levels are less, usually less than 20 minutes. It's like the old shitty ones that people go up to 20.. Yeah. So I'm going to maybe do more of an average of like 15 minutes.
Hot girls have tummy issues. I have never been in a situation in my life where I've almost shit a tanning bed. So like there's a bathroom down the hall. Yeah. So for me, it registers as something that's preakier.
I think they get off on doing it. No,
literally. Like to tan bed. I can count, on one hand, the amount of times. it's been like a dire emergency situation. And it's never been in a tanning bed.
It's never been anywhere. There wasn't a bathroom out within 10 feet. It's been like you're in a car driving road trip. It's like one of those situations. Yeah.
Where you like, really overestimated yourself. Yeah. As someone.
who has like a fair amount of like, I need to go to potty. now. I'm like, still, I've never almost shit in a tanning bed or like, or a basket of any kind. I don't know. No basket.
No basket.
Let's say emergency situation. It goes down. It happens. I would be destroying the evidence of that. Oh, my God.
So hard. I'd be like, Oh, excuse me. I'm not done in the room. I would like the lengths that I would go to so that no one knew that that happened. I'd be like sneaking out looking for their cleaning supplies.
Yes. I would be like, they'd be like, are you done? I'd be like, Oh, so sorry. I'm not quite finished. Meanwhile, I'm like, also think about this.
The, the beds.
get hot. Yeah. Like the, the surface to get like, it gets like warm. So it's like cooking that. Sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry to like put this on you, but I need a trigger warning before.
Added in trigger warning. Yeah. You guys, this is our 21st episode. And if I'm not a mathematician, but at this point, the amount of episodes we've ended up talking about fecal matter, it's. we're probably at 10% of all episodes, which is crazy.
I don't know why this keeps.
coming up, but 10.
. So twice, but two and a half times two and 0.1.. Oh, no, that I am bad at math.
So like 20% then, because we've had several episodes, but so I mean, that's horrifying.
I haven't been in a tiny bed in, I couldn't tell you, like literal years, but I will never be going in a tiny bed. Well, PSA, nobody should go in. No one should. But like, if this doesn't.
put the fear of God in you to not use a tanning bed. If it's not melanoma, let it be the possibility.
of laying in shit. Let it be some other type of like skin infection from someone's poop. Pink eye. Pink eye. Couldn't you get like some kind of ringworm adjacent thing?
Oh, yeah. I'm sure.
And you know, they. just, you see them in there and I'm sure there are a lot of tanning salon people that take pride in their jobs and, like, really do a thorough rub down. It's the same thing in my Pilates studio. Like high school kids. I think about this, you know, they do like this.
I think about it every time when we're wiping the machines and they like only give me one towelette instead of two. And I like really get in everything that I touch. But I'm like, even with this, how often do these really get clean? Like a thorough cleaning. Do you think it's daily?
Probably not. Like a full disinfectant by someone who works at the studio. No, probably not. Just try to think about it and go about my life. Because the people who worked at like,
tanning salons. when I went back in the day, it was like someone in high school or college who was like, do you want the sparkle lotion? Or like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like their parents owned it and then they, just like, needed a job for the summer. I think.
I used one that said like, diva dark. Yeah. And it definitely has. Do you want a sticker? The Playboy sticker?
Oh, the Playboy sticker. Wait, can we bring those back? I was just about.
to ask, what was your sticker of choice? Mine was the Playboy bunny. Mine was either the Playboy.
or the outline of the heart. Yeah, the heart of the Playboy bunny. The outline of the heart was so cunt. You guys, we could get it. We could bring that back with spray tans.
Should we start the revolution? I want to put it right here. That was where you always put it. Because when you got.
out, you had to like test the dark man. Yeah. You just see your skin cancer forming. It'll be.
healing my inner cancer. That one chick who keeps going back and she's amazing, but her content is really triggering for me that she's doing all the like millennial fads that are coming back around, like the layered of the tank tops and like Gen Z's, like discovering all this shit. Some of them.
are getting a little like crazy. Yeah. Like. we don't need to bring everything back. Not everything.
was cute. That's coming. is my point, though. Like that is next. Well, that we can allow.
Yeah,
like true religion. with the white stitching. I'm trying to think of something. And the bedazzled.
pocket flap. The tops that had, like little, like puckers everywhere. Yeah. Wait. Yeah,
that you can put like this. Those are at Target right now, apparently. The balloons that were like this. Okay. They look like little tiny boobs.
I only saw those sold. Those were only sold at like kiosks or like in the middle of the night. Oh, did you see Dua Lipa wearing the like, remember?
the flats that were like basket weave? Yeah, I love those. Do you mean dulipy? With, like the flowers that used to get off the street? Yeah.
Yeah. But now they're like designer. Okay,
but those cost $2.
. Yeah. And you wore those one time and they broke. Yeah. Correct.
Designer my.
ass. Oh, God. Okay. Well, this is one that I can get on board with. So perhaps we should start it.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. The sticker for the tank. No, let's literally do it. I'll like buy some on Amazon and then we can all do it.
Yeah. Who ever got the dolphin? I'm from Florida. I feel like there was probably a lot of dolphins going on in Florida. There's a lot of this.
Well, I was going to say a little, Miss Melanoma.
Miss Melanoma. That's my little like 20..
Miss Melanoma. We're going to put you in the back of a Camaro.
The word melanoma just like to cover this car. Yours is right there. So I feel like I got to go the other way. Yeah. To leave it out.
Yeah. To let her have her moment.
You could bedazzle.
Do you like a little body glitter? Body glitter should come back. I could get stoned. Oh, body glitter. Did she ever leave?
Not really. But we did it. We had it like in the roll on.
We had it drugstore. It was L.A. Styles gel with glitter in it. Okay. It wasn't.
Yeah. It was like it took form and had solid like could do the robot and then would get back in the pot and you rubbed.
it on your body. Kids today, don't know. It had peaks in it, you know? Yeah. And it smelled weird.
Kind of chemical smell. Well, I didn't call you a little Miss Melanoma for nothing. I'm just curious, because you, how much did you tan? Like in terms of that happening to you, do you think that that was like because you were a Floridian and grew up in the time where it was like? people didn't care as much?
or was it because you were tanning or both? Like? what do you think happened?
I think it was probably a combination, but I was tanning a lot. I would get the month or the week unlimited. How old were you when you started tanning? Well, I was a child when I was like tanning at the beach, just laying out in the sun at the beach and being outside. I mean in beds.
In beds. I was in high school and every, you know, everyone who was doing it, and it was very cool to be tan and very uncool to not be tan. So I wanted to be very tan and I did. I would get very, very tan. I never sunburned ever.
So I was like, I'm not sunburned. Obviously, that means I'm like, yeah, we thought that was the marker. I just get really tan. So I would go like in the summers, if I didn't have like cheer practice or something, like. I would go to the beach in the morning.
I would like lay out with baby oil. If you mix, tip, but don't do this. But I would mix baby oil with Coca-Cola and Coca-Cola, had that, like the color of it, would like be help, like bronze, and.
so you were just like a sticky little hamster. I'm so confused. The stickiest fucking thing you've.
ever experienced. Well, then I would get in the water and then the salt water also like, like when you're in the water, the water helps like edge off a layer of your dermis. Yeah. So I was tanning. I was, it was the baby oil.
It was the Coca-Cola. It was the salt water. And then I would like, throughout that same week, I would also go to the tanning bed and I would lay in there for 20 minutes every time. Good Lord. I was cooking myself.
If I was to show you a picture of me, you'd be like, my, I was very, very tan. I used to joke that I was like, all right, guys, like I'd be like, I'm off to go give myself and then literally don't. The universe was like, hey, fuck you. You actually are. You're so powerful.
Be careful what you manifest for. Yeah. So, but yeah, I was lucky that it wasn't worse, given my history. My mom grew up in Florida,
as you know, and obviously was mom age. So they, it was even worse for them. So baby oil, the whole nine moved to Seattle when she was 23,, had horrible seasonal depression because she could not handle it. So she did a tanning bed every day until she was like in her forties and she, she had basal cell, which I mean, it's not the one that eventually capped her ass, but it was a different, you know, it wasn't malignant, but because of that, we were not allowed to tan. and I'm very fair skin, but I can get tanned similarly, but I usually burn.
So when I went to college there, I went to a small college town in bum fuck, nowhere, Washington, and there was a tanning salon there. So all the sorority girls, we would all go and get her. It was like 20 bucks for a month, unlimited. I mean, there were the bad beds, the photos of us when it was, I shit you not negative 10 degrees in February of my skin color. All of us, I've group of 10 girls that are like so falsely tan in, like our white ass teeth.
There's also like the bronzer era too. So you're adding on. I was like, who like, got ready and then looked in the mirror and was like, totally looked the part and just like whipped around and went to a party. Crazy. 2001 Y2K era.
was wild. You're like looking at like Britney Spears and you're like, Oh God, I want to be,
I want to look like that. I know. I mean, I would go to the tanning bed like before, like it's school dance or something, or before, like spring break, but I didn't go habitually, you know? I mean, it just wasn't something I could keep up with, or I don't know. It just was, it felt like very, and I was in Utah too.
So maybe that's why your skin is so good. It's.
I'm still self-conscious about being pale. I am too, but I, this is Sally Hansen. I've always been also very blotchy. Like you could like, I feel like my skin is like see-through, so that doesn't help. Like, if I could just be pale, but like even tone, I think I would feel better about.
it. My skin looks purple when it's, it's natural because it's so translucent and like, really like,
yeah, I have. no, I look like a, I look like a chicken. Like if you were to pull the feathers.
off of a chicken, like a uncooked naked chicken, is what my skin looks like. It's not pretty.
I'm unseasoned. Oh my God. But I'm like 50 SP. I was like really into,
I was really into, like sunnin in the hand. Same, same. What's that?
What is that? You ever used? sunnin? What? Bring it back.
I literally have no idea what that is.
We use lemons. Okay. It's similar effect, but. So you would just spray it in your hair and it would like the sun. I don't know what was in it.
Is that what you did in season, whatever of Vanderpump Rules, and you had blonde hair? No, obviously not. What color did that shit make your hair? The sun kissed.
Yeah. Did it work? Okay. Um, when I was younger,
my hair was actually kind of lighter. I've seen pictures of you. Your hair was like a lighter.
shade. Yeah. It's like, just as I've gotten older, it's gotten darker. I don't know. It's fun.
I'm just laughing because, no, in the summertime I would, I was outside all day, every day, like, never came inside, didn't wear shoes. So I would put sun in my hair too. I think that helped.
I'm going to get you some. Okay. Okay. Cause, you're sure Alyssa will love it. I'm sure she.
Your hair is probably like a level lighter than mine, but we have similar, like born lighter, and then very few blondes are naturally this color. So yes, I bleached my.
hair, but like, yeah, this is grown out for like almost a year. So this is not whatever it is, is natural. Yeah. At this point. I mean, you can probably see where maybe we're like, I don't know if something starts.
I mean the highlights previously for me, like two months,
My highlights are just like gray strands, now. Cute.
It's giving, is it the, the cruel devil special? Yeah. It's giving. brouhaha, witch vibes. Love it.
I forgot the cauldron. I meant to bring it in for this episode in the trunk of my car. The cauldron? Just kidding. Cauldron.
Oh, I thought you meant like.
the movie. Like you were bringing in, like DVD black cauldron. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I meant.
to like stir the pot. Speaking of stirring the pot, when this airs, it'll be the day after, I think, the last part of the reunion. Is there anything you care to talk about from the reunion or even this season? Like, I'm asking because I know it's not something you typically like to talk about, but people are going to want us to at least ask. So, like, is there anything that you want to clarify?
Say just smile from the reunion. Just kidding. Um, from the reunion or the season?
in general? There's actually some people who were like, Oh, I wish that you, she would have watched the whole season, because then she would have been coming in guns, blazing with this person to that person. And the thing is, is that I wouldn't have. Yeah. I saw plenty of clips online.
I still feel like there was some stuff that you didn't see, or like seeing just in a whole would.
have. maybe. I feel like I still, I mean, listen, I went there, I flew in, stayed at Katie's and then literally got on a plane that night after the reunion to fly back and do two shows the next day. You know, I was doing my best to like be, to like show up. But at the same time it was like, I just don't, I don't have that strong of feelings about, like, I don't think it would have changed anything about like how I responded to things, because I also was like, I really like, don't feel even like.
if I feel deeply about something, I mean, which you do see me talk about things I felt strongly about, but other stuff I'm like, am I really going to sit there and like correct, every little lie, interject the whole, no, I'm not going to do that. Yeah. It's,
it's just like, it feels like a losing battle. Yeah. I'm at a point now. I feel like something.
that's changed for me as a person over my 30, almost 39 years, as I've become a little bit like what you say about me, you can think that I don't care, because like, it doesn't really, it doesn't change my life or it doesn't change who I am. If you think that about me, especially if you're not a part of my life really on a day to day basis. Right. So it's like most of like what's being said, like I could sit there and I could correct it and I could be like, actually no. And like, get into it.
But it's like, for what? Who would I be doing that for? So I was.
like, yeah, I feel, feel that. Yeah. I was going to say, is there anything else for you? Like in?
the same breath? I mean, I feel like when it's at the reunion, I don't like to sit and scream and you're not going to let me talk. You're not going to let me finish. You're not going to let me answer. Then what's the point?
You know, father's going to bring up three different instances that happened over the course of a year and a half that aren't necessarily related to one another and give me whiplash. I'm going to try to answer. And then I have Tom Schwartz trying to talk to me and she to try to talk to me. And I'm like, which one are we starting with? Because none of this is, has anything to do with, and all, all of it's only being brought up to try to make me look like a shitty person.
It just felt like, so I was just kind of like, you know what? Fuck this. I hated the ending of it all. I hated that they waited to show us that five minutes because I was like, this feels mean, and it's just mean towards Ariana. Like that wasn't for any of us.
Like there was nothing shocking in it for any of us. It was just, it was only mean towards one person.
What were your thoughts on that? Of like them doing that, of waiting until the end of the reunion to show you guys the last few minutes. And, by the way, I said before that I, you, I know what's going to happen this season. They're going to try and give me a bad arc and like, give Tom this redemption or whatever. And I was like, I don't really see that.
Like, maybe a little bit. You were so fucking right. And like, they didn't do a good job of it. It was ridiculous, but no, they didn't. They thought they ate several times and I was like, oh, that didn't, didn't.
land, did not do what they thought. But when that happened, like, what were you thinking? Like, as you're watching it and after you left the reunion, did it really settle in more that like,
what the fuck just happened? Well, you see me mouth, like, what the fuck? I think to Sheena, which was literally like, oh, so, this is what they're doing. This is why they said like, oh, you guys don't have, cause. they, even when they emailed the episodes, they're like, you'll notice that you don't have dah, dah, dah.
But then they didn't really say why. And so I was like, oh, so it felt like, honestly, I agree with you. It felt very pointed towards me. It felt like, well, we have her trapped in this room now, so we didn't get what we wanted to get. this, like some sort of tearful, whatever the hell we didn't get to break her down IRL in the moment.
So we're going to retaliate by doing that right now, in a place where she's contractually obligated to be here and try to force this moment now. Yeah. And that's.
great. I cried. You guys happy now? Yeah, it was, it just felt mean. It didn't affect me.
It didn't affect anyone else in the way that it was going to affect her. So it's like, okay. And honestly,
here's the thing that's so stupid. I gave them the best fucking ending to what that season could have had in that moment by leaving. It was real. It was real. And it was exciting to watch.
Sorry, if you literally are only looking at it from a perspective of like good reality TV, I gave you good reality TV. Yeah. Standing there, you know what I mean? That this like conversation that was like being this like fake thing that they manufactured, manufactured. Yeah.
Thing that was like wanting to be had would have been a boring cap to a boring ass season. To be honest.
Alternative to everything that anyone was saying of just like being authentic. Talk about, I'm like,
I don't. There's authenticity right here. The authenticity is always there. I don't.
have fake fights. I don't create drama. I did have one sort of fake fight. I don't make a good show. I just am honest about what's happening in my life in that moment.
I'm not like, oh, let me rehash a fight or a feeling that I had six months ago, because that would be a really good TV moment. It's like, well, too bad, we weren't filming back then. Right. But like what's happening right now? You know, it's like I'm going to be.
I'm down to like show it all. What's happening right now? It's like if you don't want to show it, if you're not going to air it,
there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah. If there is like a situation where we're like, look, me and you are in on this together. We're going to kind of like lean into certain things to like, you know, make it a little bit more fun. That's fine.
But as far as like real life stuff, that's always been real and authentic for me. And I can't fake that. And so when I'm being told to like like, what did I not show you? I showed you my like storage unit of a fucking bedroom. I showed you like the how, if you watch the season and you don't see that how low I am during the whole time, like you need glasses.
Like, I showed all of that stuff. And if there's stuff that they filmed and then decided not to air, that has nothing to do with me. But I gave it all. Yeah. I even had to like convince Dan to film FaceTime.
He was like, I don't want to do that. I was like,
please. What were they expecting to happen? Like, okay, so you guys, six months after your partner of 10 years does this horrific thing to you, you're going to sit down with him at the season finale and hold hands. Like, you know, I do know that this is great.
They wanted the Kristen Miami conversation redux, like 2.
0.
A tearful apology from Tom Shannon.
But that's the thing is like the tearful apology is the two seconds later, turn on. That's why I'll never. That's why it's never a thing, because like there is no, you know, it's like two, two seconds after that, it turns on a dime. So you can't ever trust it anyway. So what's the point having it?
Well, and then the other thing about Dan is I'm, it's very frustrating to me. Hi, Dan. Hey, miss you. The other thing about it is people point that out as if it's gives reason for you to have moved on. and like, fuck you, you're dating someone.
Why are you over it? Again, it was six months later. It doesn't matter that you didn't put your life on.
Right. And being over that person romantically does not mean that you're over like the mind stuff that you went through. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And still going through because I'm still having to deal with, like all of it. Like I'm still having to.
I haven't been there since September. I'm still having to deal with it. Well, and when people are like she's.
dating someone and she was still living in the house up until not that long ago, up until last.
September, I was living in the house, which was like literally seconds after we stopped filming. I got into an Airbnb because. Correct. But even in that time,
you guys might not have children together, but having a home, owning a home together. Spent my life savings on it. He didn't buy that house and you didn't just move in with him. You guys bought that house together. That is a legal, binding contract.
I would say almost as complicated as a child, like right below that, maybe. So, like the points that people are making as to why your feelings were invalid were just real silly goose behavior. in my opinion. It's a real silly goose behavior.
Yeah.
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slash disrespectfully. Try it out and let us know how it works for you. I'm sorry, they did that to you. You also won, so I, uh, happy for you about that. Well, not with any help, you know, but,
you know, I'm just happy it's over. to be honest. Very happy, it's over. You don't want to go back.
and relive that day several more times. Oh, you know what else some people thought, which on a.
lighter note in regards to it, they thought that I was going to Applebee's as like a dig against Chili's because, and I was like, well, you guys didn't do that collab until like very recently, and obviously that was filmed in like September. But also, I also love Chili's, so there's, yeah, I love it all. Where I was gonna say, we're a friend to all chain restaurants. And the reason.
we went to Applebee's is because it was the only one open. I know, but there's something about that, isn't it? Like one of the big, I don't know, there's something about that particular Applebee's.
too. It's the second biggest Applebee's like in the world. So, yeah, the first one being,
the first biggest being in Times Square. This was pre, um, pre our, our thing with Chili's. So,
yeah. Well, we're gonna, we're gonna head down under. I keep seeing on TikTok a new cocktail at Outback Steakhouse. that is a green shimmering cocktail that has a crocodile on it. And you get to take the crocodile home.
That's cute. And I'm like that and a blooming onion. But if it's green,
does that mean there's like Midori in it? Oh, I don't want to know what's in it. I'm not going.
to ask. I'm going to get it. Like? there's no way to be like, hey, can I get a scratch cocktail, please? Like, they're not going to do that.
It's Outback. You have to grab it. The announcer on.
those corners was like, I will buy a steakhouse. It's like the weirdest Australian accent ever.
Do you want to get a cocktail? I would love a cocktail. I'll get a cocktail. And a blooming onion? Say less.
What else is? what else do they have? I don't know. Have I been to an Outback?
I haven't been in years, but I have. But, like the blooming, onion is there. That's the star.
Yeah, that is the star. We used to go to Outback when I would go home to visit in Melbourne, because my grandma at times would be like a very picky eater, but they she can get like the salad that she likes there. So we would oftentimes go to Outback for lunch. We didn't go out to eat a ton.
growing up, but, and we like when we did, it was usually this Mexican restaurant called Azteca or Red Robin. But like Outback was like, holy shit, we're going to Outback. Do you know what I love?
When people talk about like, what was like your? like, this place is fancy growing up? What was yours? Macaroni grill. Mine was Ruby Tuesday's.
Or like an Olive Garden. That was pretty, you know?
Yeah. Olive Garden, for like prom or homecoming, was like,
yeah. But you know, my macaroni grill was like, this place is nice.
For us, the marker was like, we don't have one, but there's one in Orlando.
There's one. Oh, the next city.
Which means that like, because Orlando is like the bigger, like the bigger city. So you're like, oh, they have one in Orlando. So if we go to Orlando, we got to go to Ruby Tuesday's or macaroni grill, or like whatever it is. And then, if we got, eventually, if we got one in Melbourne,
big deal. It was like the something about her opening, but in Melbourne, like mine, I think mine was Outback Steakhouse, because I had the word. I was like, steakhouse, steakhouse, steakhouse, look at the knives. They have multiple knives here.
Holy shit. They got serrated knives. Everybody has a salad plate.
I don't want to cry. Oh God.
No, I love that. There's so many places that cropped up that I forgot about too. And I was just like, oh, Ruby Tuesday's. That was one.
The salad bar is what got me with that one. I loved a salad bar. I still love a salad bar. So much baby porn. I will go to Whole Foods and get the heaviest container from the salad bar.
Yeah. I've had people be like, you shouldn't, anybody could come in. I'm like, listen, it's worth the risk. Sometimes you got to roll the dice. Even in New York, like it's worth the risk for me.
Sizzlers, they had the kids buffet line or whatever. And that place was so dark. I remember the bites taken out of the chicken nuggets. Kids are disgusting.
What?
Put back in the bin or whatever.
I feel like waiting was based on a Sizzlers or an Applebee's, one of the two.
Oh, see, Sizzlers, that's one that we never had. I would have thought that was very fancy.
I feel like the waiting was more of an Applebee's vibe. Did you guys have Old Country Buffet? No. Old Town?
Ours was called Old Country Buffet.
We have Cracker Barrel.
I feel like I've talked about it before.
I've seen Old Town Buffet.
It's just a nasty buffet, but that was another thing that I was like.
. Golden Corral?
No, you don't have that. We have Golden Corral.
I'm sure it's all, it's a buffet, right? It's just like, it's like a $10 entry. And then you go as hard as you can at the... Cece's Pizza?
Cece's Pizza?
I've never been to a Cece's.
You're missing out.
But again, I don't know if that wasn't a Seattle thing. It's so cheap.
No, but I always have this thing like Shakey's, because, you know, on the Citizen's app, whenever I think about it. So I always have this joke. Shakey's Pizza. Yeah.
What does that have to do with this? I'm so curious.
It's a joke because there was some domestic dispute.
At Shakey's Pizza?
The Citizen app? It was reporting. Yeah, so now, every time I see...
It goes, dun, dun, dun.
And I'm like, at a Shakey's? Like, of course, at the Shakey's. It's called the Shakey's. But now, every time I see a Shakey's, I'm always like...
What's going on in there?
Sorry, no offense to Shakey's.
I'm sure this is just like a one-off.
It was a, you know, isolated incident. But anyways.
I want, you know what? Soup Plantation really needs to come back. I think we changed the name.
I feel like the name already made me tense up a little bit.
No, the name is terrible. The name is terrible. But like, I don't even...
Like, we'll call it Soup.
Soup, Soup, Soup. Anyway. Um, yeah, no, I hate that it's called that. But like, I just think about... We knew most places, though.
I just think about the place itself and the food. That the name, I just, I could disassociate so much from it. Which is not great, but all right. But apparently, there's... They are coming back in, like, Arizona.
And then there's a version of it in Rancho Cucamonga. So I'm down for a little road trip ski.
I will go anywhere, drive long distances for soup.
I will travel for soup.
Okay.
I love a soup. Yeah. This has nothing to do with soup. Okay, great. Can I announce something really quickly?
Yeah. Actually, I forgot to say this. I feel like you two will both be excited. So, Courtney, my best friend, that you both know from childhood, that I've known since I was like 13, had her baby, her second baby.
Oh, yay.
Congrats.
Her name is Margo. So I want to do her first podcast. Margo. I want to do her first podcast shout out. However, Courtney, I spoke to her last Thursday.
I believe it was. And I like, I just had a gut feeling. I was like, her due date was on May 30th. We haven't talked on the phone. So I want to catch her just in case, whatever.
We talk on Thursday. I wake up Saturday morning to a text message. She was four centimeters dilated. They checked her that Thursday and she was like, no, I just want to wait. And I was like, okay.
Are you worried that it'll be an emergency? And she was like, I'm just going to wait. Like I have a lot of work to finish before Matt leave. That young lady goes to the hospital. From the moment she stepped in the hospital to the moment she had a baby in her arms was 25 minutes.
Natural birth. Record.
That sounds like the dream. Honestly.
Natural. Oh, I don't think that's how she described it. We talked the next day.
Nevermind.
She's like, I'm glad it was quick, but she, it was total emergency. They didn't even have her fully checked in yet because she, just like, was giving birth. She literally 25 minutes. She said it was the worst pain of her life and really shocking. She was screaming, shouting, which I literally was cackling about this all day because I can just picture it.
She kept going, I'm panicking.
I am panicking.
Didn't know what to say and was in so much pain, but then gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little baby girl. And she got here in a hurry. So anywho, if any expectant mothers, Leah, if you find out you're four centimeters, perhaps get induced and have that epidural right away.
Those videos, if you see them like coming in the way and like into the like reception area, and they're just like the woman stands up. She's like, I can't wait any longer. And she's just like squats and just like pulls her baby out of it.
Like Seth Meyers describes it.
I love it.
Oh, Lobby Baby, the best stand up of all time. But he describes it as watching his wife carry a wet paper bag full of oranges. Like trying to do it, because it's coming out of her pants and she, just like lays down and pulls the baby out. Mufasa style, literally just stands there.
Yeah, women can do anything. Anyway, Courtney, I love you. Congratulations. We are thrilled that everyone is safe and happy. But yeah, it sounds like it was a pretty upsetting 25 minutes of her life.
When you said initially, when you said 25 minutes, that's why I was like, that sounds great. Because you hear about people being in labor for like two freaking days.
But well, she kind of was.
I guess she was. She just didn't realize it.
Yeah, she's just at home doing it. She is.
Well, and as you know, Courtney is the sweetest person alive. Like she was swearing at everyone being so mean. And the second the baby came out, she apologized for till she checked out 36 hours later or whatever. And they were. the nurses were like, stop, we're done.
Like, you're good. Like you were literally having an unexpected natural birth.
It's fine what you said.
I would be so mean.
Oh, the meanest.
I would.
I mean, a lot of times.
I mean, when I'm hangry. Yeah.
Well, hangers.
Picture me in the movie theater. Picture me in the movie theater.
One kernel. Fucking whole.
One chip in someone's mouth. And I'm like, like, I would be. no, I would be alone. Because no one would be like this woman.
You do it, lady. She's hopeless.
You do it. Yeah.
One person walks an average speed on the sidewalk in front of me.
Hulk.
I will walk comically fast to get away from them. And I call them turtles. And my entire body shuts down. the same way you get about listening to people eat is me with turtles. And aloof magoofs.
But you are, you walk abnormally fast.
I know.
So I walk fast. Your turbo speed.
Yeah.
But I wouldn't bore it like a music festival. And I have to keep up with you.
Your tiny little legs.
My tiny legs. I get a cramp.
Tiny legs.
Wait for me. I get like a side cramp when I'm trying to keep up with her.
I know. And I don't.
You gotta like. really, you know, like, engage, because otherwise.
Lead with my center.
Yeah.
Well, and then it's like, I'll cool it. If someone will like touch my arm and be like, like, holy shit. And then I'm like, oh, I'm sweating a little bit now. But I'm saying, sometimes these people are walking. Ooh.
And then when there's a chain of turtles and they're blocking the entire sidewalk and truly walking, not even in a normal person's pace.
That's ridiculous.
This is me. But while driving, I hulk out. I'm road rage. Also big time.
Speaking of that, speaking of rage, should we do basement? Yeah.
Basements.
Perfect. I've been contemplating this all morning, but I want you guys to go first.
I'm scared. Basement's my favorite part of my week. The lady's husband who took her young children when she was about to win a marathon.
Brought to her.
If you have not seen this video, look it up on TikTok. Marathon. lady kids. There's a finish line. He goes five feet past the finish line.
So not in the direction of. she has finished the race, has the kids. She's running down. There's a person right behind her. She's about to win a marathon.
that is 26 miles. She basically throws one of the kids at her and she curves, the kids like and runs off. And then she wins a race and you see him in the background. go like looking at people like, what just happened? Weaponized incompetence.
You didn't want her to win. That man's husband. First of all, I understand. if the kids are like, wait, mommy doesn't want me. You did that.
Why didn't you just wait at the finish line and have her five feet later at the finish line so they could have this big moment? But instead you tried to mess her up from winning. Then you acted very confused as to why she ran away from the kid. I mean, in general, it's just like when women give birth, they are a mother, but they're also allowed to have other identities. She didn't have to be a mother in that moment.
She wasn't rejecting her kids. She wanted to win something that she had worked really hard for. Bae smit.
Yeah. I'm so glad that other people are like noticing it. Yeah. And I was like a little nervous at first that people would not see like what he was doing and like what he was pulling. But then everybody I saw that was like stitching that video were all like, no, this is fucked up, which I was like, thank God people are seeing it, because that shit infuriated me.
I was worried about it, too. And I'm sure there are those people. But also congratulations to her on winning. I'm good for you for choosing yourself to win for two seconds. Like, Katie, who's in your base?
Mine is a generalization because yesterday I experienced a lot of it on the way home. And it was because I feel like road rage, but I don't get, I don't get aggressive with it. I just mostly like, just like call people names in my car.
And I'll just yell at you.
But this one person got really aggressive with me. I was driving on Fountain and this person thought I was like coming into their lane, barely like over in my own lane. He kind of honked at me. I'm like, dude, I'm not. And, like you, have plenty of room.
And first of all, why are you like? it's kind of thick right now in the traffic area. So I like, I try to get over a little bit more, but, like also, there's oncoming traffic this way. So I'm like, Jesus Christ, like what the fuck is your problem? So I get over.
He comes over. when he starts to pass me. He swerves into my lane. First of all, why would you do that? Because if I have to get out of your way, I could swerve and then hit someone oncoming.
So when people do that stuff, because they're assholes and they're reckless and they're have road rage like that, that could cause other accidents that could be potentially fatal to other people. You know what I mean? It's just like I don't understand that. And whoever that person is, get in the basement and stay there because you don't, you should not be on the road because it's dangerous. I don't know.
Like I, just like all the rest of the night. I was like really pissed off.
Yeah. People like that is what pisses me. Like he's road rage. I was insane.
I was like, yeah, I was like probably the furthest over my lane I could get. And he honks me. But then he like does that to me.
Who does that? Was he driving a BMW?
He was driving.
No, they all. they almost always drive BMWs.
No, he was driving a.
It's hostile. You and I have another one. You and I have cute, productive road rage, though, I would say we don't want to hurt anyone ever. So it's a different thing.
Yeah, it's mostly like. it's mostly experienced by me. And if there's someone in my car, they get to, like, hear me. Yeah, same.
Yeah, I'm mostly just like pissed off at people. I'm like, oh, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I do a lot of the like. like I'm where I'm. like someone said, it's more powerful if you're.
mad at someone instead of flipping them off when you're driving to just get and get their eye contact.
No, just put your thumb down. I love.
Iconic.
I love to just like look at someone.
We need to see if they look stupid. Yeah. When you're getting around, someone pisses you off, you like literally need to see their face and be like, you look like an idiot.
My favorite thing is like I was driving on outposts down towards Hollywood from the top and, you know, there's the stop sign. I observed the stop signs right as any normal, this person. And when people are parked on outposts and it's very curvy, this person was coming from behind me, was blowing through every stop sign and was going around any person that was on the road. And I was like shocked. I was like, that's someone who's they're going to get an accident.
And then it's like me stopping every stop sign, got to the bottom of the hill, like Hillside and La Brea or whatever. We're next to each other. What was the point of all of that?
Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad you do. Yeah, you got there a lot faster.
You risked your life for that.
Or someone else's life.
Or someone. Yeah. Literally for that. Just for us to be next to each other.
Hi, when people are driving reckless like that, weaving like trying to nearly missing people. And I'm just like, where are you going?
You're going to get clogged up.
You're not getting anywhere fast right now. Anyway.
So excited here.
Mine is a little bit general as well. I'm putting turbulence in the basement.
I hate turbulence.
Turbulence literally killed somebody this week.
Wait, what? Yeah, that flight from.
The London to Singapore. 10 hours into the flight, they hit some sort of air pocket and they were like, seatbelt, seatbelt, seatbelt. And, like somebody said, like within moments, that they said seatbelts, the plane, like people, hit, there was blood everywhere. And they're saying that turbulence, as climate change gets worse, turbulence will keep getting worse. And before any of this happened, turbulence was already in my basement, because I hate it.
I hate turbulence too.
I follow pilots on TikTok specifically because they'll make videos that will like make you feel better about it. But the thing that makes me hate it, I feel like no one ever gets right. Like what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that the turbulence is going to make like when they're like, oh, the plane is not going to crash because of turbulence. That's not what I'm saying.
If the plane was crashing for whatever reason, or there was an issue, that's what it would feel like. Didn't it feel like turbulence?
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.
So stop.
Free falling.
And I assume.
10,000 feet.
Yeah, exactly. And I assume me sitting there in my seat, you're not going to be communicating to me what the actual hell is going on. You're going to be up there trying to figure it out. It makes me, literally, it makes me so mad. And then I also saw a TikTok this week of a flight attendant who was like, yeah, water landings, no such thing.
You're done.
Well, yeah.
And I was like, great.
What just made me laugh about that is I hate when people are like, just look at the flight attendants during turbulence, because if they're calm, everything's fine. I'm like, what if they're not?
They're trained.
What if they're freaking the fuck out? Then what do I do?
What if they're like me, where they act calm because they're trying to convince themselves to be calm.
They're trained to be calm. Right.
But also in that situation, I bet they weren't calm. I bet they were like, holy shit, hold on.
Wait, so somebody died because they hit?
Yeah. And there's like a bunch of people in the ICU still from this. I always keep my seatbelt on. I always keep my seatbelt on when I'm in my seat, regardless. Yeah.
But imagine you're in the bathroom.
I thought about that, too, because I was like, remember that episode of Jackass when they knocked that guy over in the port-o-potty? So, in addition to your life being physically threatened, you're in the potty in the sky and you're just being shaken around like a mixed drink with all that fluid. There's so many factors there that are horrible.
What can we do with planes to fix this going forward?
Well, as you said, climate change coming for all of us.
So we got to figure out something about air travel, because sometimes it's inevitable. And I literally already get so scared.
Yeah.
Turbulence in the basement forever and ever.
No, people make fun of me, too, when I get scared during turbulence. They're just like, I love it. It's fun. It's like a ride. I'm like, you're psycho.
Courtney says that. I used to have a debilitating fear of flying, to the point that I could almost not fly and then had to fly a lot for a job. So I got exposed to it and it got better.
It helps when you, yeah.
So I'm able to stay calm during a flight. I used to scream, cry during taking off and landing. I still freak out during takeoff. But the second, any turbulence, it's the most primal fear through my entire body. Hate.
Hate flying. But we have to do it, so we just do.
But hate.
Yeah.
That was a good basement. That's relatable.
Thanks. I felt I was really feeling it.
Should we do our hometown hero? Hometown hero.
Okay. Madison says. Hey ladies. So this is my wild dating story. I had been hanging out with this guy for about a month and he invited me to his neighbor's birthday party.
I was hesitant because I wasn't sure if I was ready to meet any of his friends. But after conferring with my roommates, I decided to go for it. On the way to meet him to go to this birthday party, he let me know he was already at the party and to just meet him there. Hate. I showed up and the party was a small gathering of his neighbor's closest friends.
Everyone seemed really confused why I was there. And the guy I was with was clearly intoxicated. At one point, the guy I was with reached into a crock pot full of barbecue meatballs and treated himself to a handful.
Despite there being silverware and plates sitting right next to it, the party guests were horrified and I was so embarrassed. I asked him if we could go back over to his place, because I felt like he was ruining his neighbor's birthday party and, to be honest, I was just so mortified and wanted to leave. We went back to his place and I asked him if he was doing okay, because I hadn't seen him in this condition before. He tried to gaslight me and act as if nothing weird was going on. And, honestly, I started to think that maybe I was overreacting.
So he turned on a movie, Pretty Woman, interesting choice, and began to snuggle on the couch. It was nice and normal until about 15 minutes before the movie ended. He began to start to cry and tell me about his past usage of heroin. I was extremely caught off guard and began to ask him some follow-up questions. because what the fuck.
He paused his crying and looked me dead in the eyes and said, you think you know everything, you should go home. I immediately put on my shoes and left. I really should have left about 10 minutes into the party. Yep, obviously. On the way home, I started to get multiple texts from him asking where I was, why I left, and asking me to come back, so we could, what?
Trip shrooms.
Oh, my lord. Trip on shrooms, like what?
Yeah, so we could trip shrooms. Okay, I did not go back. Prior to meeting this individual, I did do a background check, as I do for anyone that I meet on apps, and he did have multiple DUIs and a felony charge for assaulting a police officer. Those were my red flags and I still proceeded to give this man a chance. Girl, you only have yourself to blame.
Moral of the story is, if the background check comes back, questionable, maybe give that more validity than a man that says he doesn't drink that much and never been in any real trouble.
Wow, Madison.
Honestly, Madison, the fact that after meatball fingers, you didn't leave is like, I'm like picturing Wedding Singer. when he like plops the meatballs in his hands. I'm like, girl, why didn't you fucking leave? I was picturing a crock pot with the little mini ones.
Backing up even further, if someone invites me to go to a party and then tells me to meet them there, no, thank you.
Because he lives next door, right? So he could have just waited. Yes, but he obviously went way earlier and got fucked up, he got fucked up at his house and then went over.
And you show up and they're wasted. Ick.
Yeah. Well, and especially that one freak.
He wasn't very welcome at the party either.
Yeah. Gaslighter from a few years ago that told me he was like, oh, I barely drink. And then our second date, he got unbelievably blacked out. And I was like, oh, you actually drink excessively. But, Madison, we're not victim blaming you.
This is just.
No, that was incredible.
Also the way that he was like, wait, there's this guy on TikTok, obviously, who pretends to be this frat guy. And he always says these like gaslighting skits. And he always goes, what's wrong? And it's so funny because something is so clearly wrong. I picture him being like, what's wrong?
Come back. Let's do drugs. Why don't you want to do drugs with you now?
This man needs to be sober.
Yeah.
Period. Yeah.
You don't want to do mushrooms.
Meatball hands, immediate basement.
Pretty woman.
You think, while they were watching Pretty Woman, he still had like barbecue sauce, kind of like in his nail bed. 100 percent.
Yeah, he did. He did the flick rinse. 100 percent. And then he gave you soap. They're like snuggling in his hand.
The meatball hand is on her shoulder. She's like, kind of smells like sweet baby raisin here.
Wow.
Wow. Work of art. Should we dub dub dee dee?
Dub dub dee dee.
This is from Amber. Hi, girlies. First of all, I'm a longtime fan and seriously loving this. pod. Me too, Amber.
Thank you for sharing your light and wisdom with us. I'm writing in because 2024 has been a series of unfortunate events. Long story short, I lost my grandma, who was my best friend, found myself jobless, currently dealing with a health scare of my own, and, to top it all off, my therapist has gone on a permanent leave to be home with her babies. I just want advice on how to escape the permanent funk I have found myself in. I want to move forward, but feeling so stuck and down.
Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Sending all my love. Keep being amazing.
Amber, that's a bummer.
That really sucks.
Need all this for you. What would you say to Amber?
I would say until you are able to find a new therapist, because that that's a real bummer, until you're able to do that, just like on a day to day basis, look for glimmers. Because, you know, oftentimes, especially when going through like a literal series of unfortunate events, like you said, a lot of things can be like triggering or like something happens, you like spill your coffee and you're like, of course, again, like everything sucks. So, like throughout the day, look for just like little glimmers, as opposed to triggers of things that you can be like, OK, cool, things are turning around. Like there's something there that, like, brings you joy. Start there.
But definitely sucks. Try to find a new therapist, is the word.
I, who am no longer online dating, would rather spend eight hours live a day on plentyoffish.
com than find a new therapist. Like it's harder than dating.
What's the farmer?
Farmers only.
Farmers only.
The right kind. Just kidding.
Never.
So horrible. This kind of tacks onto that. But something that I started doing when I was getting better in 2021, after I was down real bad, was writing in the morning 10 things I'm grateful for. And it's really small things. Let's start with five, if that's easier.
But like tiny things, even like I got a parking spot and the meter was full, like tiny, tiny things. The more you focus on even the little things that are going right, it kind of glides you through the funk. And also sometimes you have to sit in the fact that you're in a valley. That's fine. But like, keep in mind, everything is transient.
Good things, but also even more positively. bad things like this will come to a conclusion. You will see the other side of it. So it's just about sustaining while you're dealing with that, in my opinion.
I agree with both of you. Darkest hours are just before the light. So while it's easy to kind of focus on the negativity, looking for the positives, gratitude, and also maybe just looking for things that you can, that can be a positive outlook, whether it's just like getting up for like a walk, or something that, just like, helps clear your mind. I hate to call it a physical activity, because I'm not like a super physical person, but like going for a walk like outside, something about the fresh air around the block. I don't know, put on your smell of flower.
You like see a pretty bird,
like listening to, like music that puts you in the right kind of mood and going out for a walk or something like that.
Like system of the down.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Yeah, something like that. It can be a game changer, can like make your day. So I don't know, just something like, it's like, I don't know what does, it's like something with your mind and your body, the way like they connect, you know.
Agreed with that, tacking on to that also, what's helping me going through my 50th time trying to quit nicotine. I got adult coloring books and I've been coloring so much like put a podcast on, this podcast, audiobook, music, watch something, a lighthearted show and just color, and like you're so focused, I think it's helpful.
Yeah, I love a coloring book.
Amelia says, dear Katie and Dana and Ariana, because Amelia didn't know she'd be here. This is my first ever time writing into the podcast due to high anxiety and fear, lol. You two, however, create such a fun and positive atmosphere that it makes me feel safe to ask my question. After listening to your podcast, it actually gave me the confidence and strength to cut off my long distance situationship that had surpassed its shelf life. One year and three months.
I didn't have a conversation with him whatsoever. I ghosted him, which I don't know if was the correct move or not. I don't feel like I needed closure from it or to waste any more time with a conversation when I would have just ended up being left on read. Was ghosting him the right choice or should I have given him the opportunity to respond to my ending things? You both are my favorites and are the two most, three of the most genuine people.
What do we think?
You know, I feel like she knows the situation more than anything. And I feel like sometimes ghosting or doing the block thing will give you the opportunity to move on from it. because you know, if he responds, he might say something that's going to keep you hanging on to it. It's going to keep you attached, keep you whatever into it. So, you know, if you don't need it from him, you don't want to hear anything from it.
Sometimes he, the ghost, I hate the ghost.
Has he tried? Sounds like he hasn't. Yeah.
We need more info. But if you have not said anything and you guys just never spoke again, he's saying everything he needs to say. He doesn't care about you.
It sounds like it's the mutual ghost. Yeah. Like, if you were certain that he was going to leave you on read anyway, then he doesn't deserve your attention anymore. It sounds like you made the right choice.
At first when she said that, I was like, oh, not, but then when she said she would have been left on read, I'm like, oh, then yeah.
Yeah.
Clearly it seems like, yeah, mutual ghosting is happening here anyway.
Yeah.
I'm not really a ghost or at all, like seldom a proponent of it, but I would say this is in like the 10% situation that it makes sense. Like if either it's so toxic and they're manipulating you and you just have to, or it's like it was a mutual ghost. So I think that you're good and you made the right choice. And I am so honored that our podcast helped you trim that ridiculous loser.
This is what we're here for, everybody.
This is what we're here for. Take a seat in the coven.
This is the work.
Let's levitate later.
All right. Anonymous says, hi, you guys are so strong and such an inspiration. Definitely my favorite. Thank you. How do you guys navigate and keep friendships with friends who are becoming moms and starting a family?
Sorry, that was just.
My fiance and I are just not ready to have kids, but a lot of our friends are. Any advice would help. I mean, it's definitely, it's definitely not easy. I think, because you have to just accept and recognize that, like you, are in different phases and chapters in life, but keeping up with each other is really important to maintaining your friendship. But it goes both ways, obviously.
You're not going to see as much of each other, but, you know, staying in each other's life is still important, I think.
I have this situation with, like most of the people in my life from back home. So I would say, I think you definitely need to give space for the fact that things are going to change quite a bit.
It's like a mourning process.
It totally is. But I also think that sometimes, if you don't have children, whether you are with a partner or you're single, people who have children, then expect a person who doesn't to, just like, be the one to take the brunt of the effort on. And that's not fair to you. So I think that while you can give space and support and maybe put more of an effort in because you understand what they're going through, you also are valid and a whole person and also have things going on. So, like I would say, especially if they're a new mom or adjusting to multiple kids, give time for things to settle.
But if you're still feeling that way, I think it's totally fair to have a conversation and say like, I love you. I understand that we're in different seasons of our life right now, but I don't want to lose this friendship. So it would be greatly appreciated if maybe you could check in with me every once in a while or whatever. And then, if they don't, then I think it's something to let kind of fade away and, just like, appreciate it for what it is. I think it's so crazy how many people think a friendship changing or ending or simmering down is such a negative thing when it's just like, I think you guys just rolled through a certain period of your life and you having space for people who have more of the high frequency that you want will lead to you having the fullness that you're looking for.
But it's hard. Yeah, it's hard. I think. initially, I don't know how old or young this person is, but initially, I think in my early 30s, late 20s, when it was the first couple of people started, there was a little bit of like, oh, and some of them were people that back in the day, we'd be like, we're never doing this together. We're going to be like this forever.
And then you're like, oh, okay. And you do, you kind of like, mourn what that friendship was in that era. But then there's also potential for like a new type of friendship to form or to keep going. And yeah, if it's something that it's just not working out, like, it's okay to like, not used to love that person, but they might be focused on something else and you're focused on something else. And like, just kind of, let it, let it be what it is.
Totally.
Plus kids. birthday parties can be fun when you're the childless one.
There's cake.
There's cake.
I love kids foods. That's one of my, that's the biggest plus for my relationships who now have kids.
Pantry time.
Yep.
Yeah. Get those Uncrustables out.
Yeah. Like, thanks, mom.
Okay. Well, our time together is coming to a close. You were such a great guest. It's so great having you, but also really quickly, let's talk about Love Island and going back to Broadway. Just give everyone a high overview of what's going to happen, how you're feeling about it.
I'm very excited. I'm trying to, I've been on a fitness journey, trying to get ready for Love Island, because Maya Jama, who hosts UK, is just the hottest person alive. And I feel like I really need to somehow step into this and like rise to that occasion of being my hottest self. So that's been, I'm perpetually sore and tired, but I'm very excited. going back to Fiji, and I'll be back and forth.
I go there twice. So I go to Fiji and I come back here, and then I go to Fiji again, and then I come back here, and then I go to New York for Broadway again, which is also very exciting. But you know what? It's just going to be, it's just going to be what it is. And all the in-between times, I'll be at the sandwich shop.
So please come see me, and it'll be a really crazy summer.
We should go to New York in August and see.
Come see me.
Oh yeah. I was thinking we're going to go for the opening, the sequel.
Come, like not the opening. You know, I feel like opening is. so, it's a lot of pressure on the opening. There's a lot going on. And I always feel like there's a little bit of a like relaxation that happens like a week or two weeks into it.
that, like, just makes it, I feel more confident. So like, come then.
We will.
Well, I was going to say last time when I went for the opening, it was such a quick trip. I was there for like 40 hours. Maybe it was so quick. So should we do a little like take our time in New York trip? Go see her and then.
Yeah, there's something else that's happening in August too that I want to check out.
Do I know what it is?
No, but I'll share with you both, because maybe I don't know. Is it the Insane Cloud? Is it the Gathering? No, absolutely not.
Well, then we'll pick a time and come.
Yeah.
Do our little Carrie Bradshaw moment.
to my super secret plan.
Your super secret Insane Cloud, Pussy, Gathering.
Yeah, that's what it is.
Is that what it is? You're not really starring in Broadway. Are you the new Juggalo? Are you the Juggalo?
I'm actually queen of the Juggalos.
I knew it.
Surprise, surprise, surprise. I came here today to announce that.
Okay, well, wow.
We're getting the first scoop. People are going to flip out.
We're so excited. Thank you for coming here, though.
Thanks for having me.
Come back anytime. I'm a huge fan.
It's the best podcast ever. People who aren't listening should definitely start, but I guess they would be listening if they were to say that.
So it's possible. Okay, love you, bye. Hey, love you, bye.
Babe, you're going to see the power of women.
Like, disrespectfully.
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