It’s Okay to Talk About Our Chin Hairs | Episode 25

the way that Justin Timberlake just got his DUI and the 22-year-old officer didn't know who he was, which was the funniest part about it for me. Because DUIs are not funny, obviously.

This is going to ruin my tour. What tour? My world tour.

This is going to ruin the tour.

It's going to ruin the tour.

Smart. We're going to adopt that, so. Yeah, I guess thanks for that wonderful pop culture moment.

That's what I felt like when the inspector came to my apartment. It's going to ruin the tour. And it did. It did. Just by 10 minutes.

That's actually girl math, if I've ever seen it. When you are late, since you're always late, you just clock on. So if she's 20 minutes late, she's normally 15.. So she's actually only.

Five minutes.

Five minutes late. Yeah. I'm one minute late and I am two hours late. That's my girl math. I'm 15 minutes early on time.

Yeah, if I leave when I'm supposed to be there, I'm leaving on time.

That's what happened to me today. It was the most stressful morning of my life. Welcome to, Disrespectfully.

With Katie Maloney.

And Dana Kathan.

Unapologetically.

We're here to do what we want to do.

Spilling the tea.

Babe, you're going to see the power of women, like disrespectfully. You know when you're going too fast because you're in a hurry and you like everything up and you should just take a breath and slow down. My purse exploded in my car. I was just like, yeah, it was a nightmare. But we made it.

Yeah, we got to call some bad behavior out, some basement behavior out.

At the top of the episode, that's how important it is to us. So one young Leah, just told us, oh, actually, let's have her, she's back now. How about you tell the story? Tell the people what we're so angry about right now.

So, basically, I was perusing the comment section, which I don't normally do, but I was trying to see if people wanted to hear about Love Island, USA. And I saw a comment that said, Leah has gained so much weight. Poor girl. And I would never reply to a comment, but I did for my personal YouTube. And I was just like, I am eight months pregnant.

Yeah, that much more importantly, the fact that you're, I don't know, creating life. is that? why are we at all ever commenting about anyone else's weight? Why are we?

Yeah, that's just as a base rule. Don't. But also, you didn't gain weight. You're pregnant.

You're pregnant. I'm sorry that happened. I wish I don't have YouTube. I want to go like troll them so bad.

I was just like, also, you never know what people have been through. Like, I've struggled with an eating disorder for so long. And I was just like, you. like this is literally. people could call me stupid.

Well, and also they, you can't say for certain, because I don't know this person in real life. But like, I just find that really hot, happy, cool people are not commenting negatively on the internet for anyone's about anything, about looks, personalities, whatever. So I'm like, I bet that person. I know it's a trope. But like, I bet that person's not a super happy person.

Poor girl. Yeah, that's even worse. It's like, I'm really happy with my life.

So you glow literally. And it's not nuclear. It's not the pregnancy. It's just you. You're just like a happy little, sweet little baby angel.

I know. Speaking of Love Island, Page Six posted Ariana in that like black lingerie number. And some troll commented on it saying she should lay off the sandwiches.

That was a good one. That was really good. But also, are you... Objectively, she was... That's the hottest she's ever looked, to the point that my jaw dropped.

Literally. Literally. Yeah, I don't... I have no idea. So, like...

Yeah.

She looked.

I just truly cannot.

Oh, yeah, let's do it.

Are you ready to talk about it?

Yeah. So we're going to do a new segment each episode called the Daddy List. I mean, we talk about Daddy Lists pertaining to, like, you know, the male variety of daddies.

And ladies.

And ladies. Humans, mainly, mostly. But there's other things that we're obsessed with, that we want to add to the Daddy List. So that's what we're calling it.

It's the Daddy List. I mean, it's just in general, like in our day-to-day lives, also, when you like something, you're like, Daddy. It's just what we... It's Daddy. So in general, it just means something that we're horned up for or excited about or love.

Okay, I have two things. Very different. And I think one of those things you'll agree with, because it's, it's just, it stands the test of, you know, not time, but like for right now, for sure. Thigh tats.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

On anyone. I want a thigh tat. I feel like that will make me daddy. Yeah, if I see a thigh tat, it's over.

It's over. I mean, I have a thigh tat, but it's very small. So I know you... Counts. It counts.

I don't know. I don't know what it is, but if it's the plate, I don't know.

And it can be tattoo free. And then they, but they have that anywhere else with that thigh tat. And I'm like, get over here.

Yeah. If the only tattoo you have and it's on your thigh. Daddy. Daddy. The other thing on my Daddy List that I'm like super obsessed with right now.

Okay, that's not at all where I thought that was going. Of course not. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. TikTok shop gets me every time. This was definitely a TikTok.

You shopped on TikTok? I've never done it. What? Never once and not done one thing. Because I'm already have a problem, obviously.

Oh, don't start, because you won't stop.

Do you just put your credit card info in and shipping stuff?

I buy it with my face at this point, because it's connected to my Apple Pay.

Girl, you can connect your Apple Pay.

Yeah. Of course, people will be doing their like videos of it. And this girl was doing it. Oh, and I was like, I want to feel like that. I can hear so good.

And it's just like, oh, do you see stuff come out though?

No, because it goes into like a little thing. And then you just like dump the water. I don't know, like chunks of it, but it's just like, you know,

it just scratches that part of your brain.

You're like, yeah, oh my God, it's lovely. So that's going on my daddy list because I'm obsessed.

Love. Those are. that's a really strong start. That's our first.

I think so, too. What's on your daddy list?

So mine's quite different. Pretty weird. I have two also, but we're going to add a quick third, Ariana in the black outfit specifically. Oh, yeah. Daddy.

Do you know I can make like a very, very close dupe of that dip?

Well, if that's true, I'm hurt and offended because you've never offered that to me. And I talk about Dunkaroos all the time. And then these delicious little biscuits, these little cookies. Anyway, fucking love those. The second one is a hazard.

I'm excited about that.

Daddy list. I'm sorry. I am like a month and three or four days vape free. I have had a few cigarettes in that time. I'm not nicotine free, but it's gone much better.

This is like the European daddy list. The Euro version.

Well, and European cigarettes are good for you. They don't even count. I will always smoke in Europe. I'm not.

To health. To health. Okay, got it. To health.

Anyway, so that's my daddy list for the week.

Oh, I like it. Because I know a million people are going to ask what the recipe is for the Dunkaroo dip. It's a box of Funfetti mix. You dump that in a bowl. Then you get a, like a tub of Greek yogurt.

I'm confused about the Funfetti mix. Because you're not talking about the cake mix. You are. Oh.

You mix it all together. And then you get a, like, box of Teddy Grahams.

You know what? They have, they're just as porous. They have, now that I'm thinking about it, I can picture the little biscuit, little cookie. It is exactly a Teddy Graham, which I haven't thought about since 98..

Yeah, yeah. I don't know, like, the exact, like, measurements of, like, the Greek yogurt. But you know what I'm talking about. Just pick, close your eyes. You know the size I'm talking about in the grocery store.

Wow, a real one, not gatekeeping.

I don't want to gatekeep and I just already know that everyone's going to be like, drop the recipe.

Wait, we have to do, we have to combine Daddy List one more. And then we'll keep it more concise going forward. But Arielle's new blush from her brand, Rell Beauty.

Yeah, so our gorgeous, hilarious, amazing friend Arielle, um, she has a, like, it's skincare beauty rolled into one called Rell. And she came out with it some years back and it was a tinted lip balm. And she just sort of did a relaunch, repackaging of that. And also a line of blushes, which is really cute, because, um, they're all named after our, like, childhood heartthrob crushes, like Leo and JTT. And they're beautiful and stunning and gorgeous and they blend in.

I'm wearing Devin right now. Look at us. I formerly have never worn blush. I don't. I think it accentuates my butthole eyes that I've talked about in previous episodes.

Yeah. She had, like, a little launch party for last night. So we went and it was fun.

It was very fun.

So congrats to Arielle.

Congrats. We love you. You're so gorgeous and cool.

Arielle wants to come on our podcast. Does she? Yeah. Great.

She would be excellent. She's so funny and sweet. I just love her.

Yeah, I do too. So they can go on daddy lists as well.

That's on the daddy list. And then we had a nice little dinner. Yeah. At Norma.

It's called Norma's.

Norma's. And it was delicious. Every single thing. Down to the bazooki, which I originally did not want because I was full. Oh, I don't have a cookie.

Daddy list. Are we going crazy on a daddy list?

That cookie is on the daddy list. That was it was like a brown butter or chocolate chip cookie.

No, I had some sauce on it. Like, was it a brown butter?

Yeah, it was like a brown butter sauce. And then ice cream. on top of that. We're just like.

Yeah, I want to die and come back as a bazooki.

Do you? Who would eat you? Who do you want to eat you?

Who wouldn't?

Who is going to have you as a bazooki? Devin Sawa?

Easy. Take it easy. Okay. No, come on. No, that's weird.

What?

Today, when I was doing my makeup, and among something else. You know, when they always ask like.

What? Doing your makeup? and among something else.

Well, I'm getting there. Okay. You know when they would say like, if you were on a deserted island, what's one like beauty item or something you'd want to have with you? People are always like, oh, mascara or lip balm or something else. Do you know what I would absolutely need to have with me?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Because fucking chin hairs.

Chin hairs. Chin hairs.

And just like rogue eyebrow hairs.

You know what? I just posted a TikTok about it because Laszlo has a really thick, coarse one chin hair. It's technically a cheek hair. And I was like, we're twins. And so I made a TikTok about it and I posted it.

I think we need to talk about it, though. No one wants to talk about chin hairs, like us gals in our, you know, mid thirties. But I feel like it's when you do kind of like get real with people and talk about it. They're like, oh my God, right?

It's a universal experience. The sigh of relief when we all get together and talk about it. It's like this dark thing that we've all been hiding. It's okay to talk about our chin hair.

Talk about your beard, girl.

Talk about it. Okay, so I have twins. It started with just one. that's blonde. And that's the one that was in my video today.

Thank you, little twin.

Do you ever see the guy on TikTok that, like, is like one bottle gallon of milk and like he holds multiple things to see how many it takes to hold his body weight? He could use just that single chin hair and it would support him. Like. that's the thickness.

Do you ever like when it's, when it's there and you don't grab it, and then you're like driving in the car and you just like play with it?

Oh, I, yeah. I play with it. I pick at it. I like incessantly, but my nails I can never like. it's like one out of every hundred pulls.

And it hangs on for dear life. There's no getting that out. No, no. Sometimes I even try to plug it and it just breaks off in there. And I'm like, all right, I guess I gotta wait one to two minutes.

Many? More than two?

Yeah. Okay.

Also, they all hang out the same area.

I also have a scar, and you know, the hairs tend to love to like grow out of scars. You know about that? No. Yeah, it's a real... I don't know what it is about, like the tissue there or something.

You're like, this isn't bad enough. I have to deal with this scar and now it looks like a fucking chia pet. Like, what is this?

I mean, I just remember like seeing my mom when I was younger, and she'd be like in a magnified mirror, like with her glasses on, like just going on her chin, and I'd be like, brother, ew. But now I'm like, now I'm like, oh. Brother, ew, what's that? But it's like, yeah. Sorry, any fellas that are listening, and you're like, brother, ew.

Yeah, she does. Do you want to know how I discovered my chin hair? With an ex-boyfriend. We were laying together. Did he point it out?

I have car tweezers.

Okay, car tweezers, but not purse tweezers?

No, because I feel like I will probably stab myself if I'm digging around for a lip liner or something. Maybe I do need purse tweezers.

I think we should, instead of identifying our age in numbers, we should say purse tweezers or not. So that's all people need to know. Like, I'm, purse tweezers old.

No, I'm just kidding, that sets us back. Well, whenever I meet, or not meet, but whenever I'm talking to a gal, that's like, you know, slightly younger, but she's like, oh, I'm turning 30.. It's just like, and I'm just like, that's nothing. Like, look up. Let me count your chinny hairs.

Can we laser it?

Yeah. Do you think? But the thing is, you got to stop using any like actives, which is like retinol. AHAs, BHAs, anything, for two weeks. And it's like, I rely on those so heavily that like, what are you talking about?

I lie. Well, I mean, I'm doing like a facial or something. If they say it, I'm like, you're, I'm getting this facial. No, I haven't used any.

I mean, the thing is, it could just like, cause, like whatever. The same thing is like, have you been in the sun? It's like, yeah, but like, I don't know.

I'm not sure how I feel about your tone. It's like when they asked me to stop using retinol for two weeks, you know, in Snow White, that bitch when she's cooking up the apple. That's what happens to me. I can't like, it's not possible. Like, that's what I look like.

Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. I'm getting to the point because now like there's, because before it was just like, there was like a couple right here, but now like there's, like a couple more over here. And then there's like one over here. And I'm just like, it's becoming like, now. I got to like babysit, different like areas of my face.

Like, really? How do we feel about him doing that to me? I thought that was, I don't think he had malintent, but it never left me, let's just say.

I mean, it's just, it's just one of those things. It's just like, don't point out those things on a person. It's like, what, because you're trying to be nice? That's not, you're aware, or you weren't aware, but like, it's just kind of like, you know.

But for the most part you are.

Hair is normal and common and whatever, but like, it's not, like you're like the bearded lady.

I mean, even if I was, I'm like, sir, this is, I didn't like go ding-ding on his hairline. Like I could have.

You're like, did it used to come further?

Yeah, no, I go, instead of when we first started dating, I'd go ding-ding, but then by the end I'd go ding-ding. So I was like, oh yeah, maybe keep that shit to yourself.

Oh, or no, just like on, like his, like, stuff, belly glue, pinch, pinch. Just be like, oh, mine's just as consistent as yours.

Yeah, that man wore brow leather flip-flops. It was never gonna work.

But all I'm saying is that I think if we just talked about it a little bit more, it wouldn't, you know, we wouldn't have to have such shame around it. We already do so much maintenance and, you know, just to take care of ourselves and make us look hot, that like, whatever.

I'm sorry, men, it is a universal experience. What did you call it? The 50 in one shampoo? That's just what they do. They do that once a week and then call it a day.

Men, you don't wash your balls. So let us tweeze our chin hairs. in peace, okay?

Well, and for what it's worth, maybe you could take some tweezers down there too. They never would. But I'm like, you're, just like, you're like, you're flossing.

Yeah, groom a little bit, all right? We're plucking our chin hairs just to keep things looking fresh. Why don't you manscape?

Yeah, it doesn't make you, like, when they're so insecure about their masculinity, it shouldn't be a feminine thing, hygiene. I think it should just be universal. Let's all do it.

Let's all do it. Yeah.

Wash our butthole.

We don't need to go there again, but maybe, just, maybe once every couple months, remind people to wash their asshole.

It'll be our quarterly report. The daddy, the daddy list, and then the butthole washing reminder.

Just at the top of that episode, have you washed your butthole today?

Like breaking news alerts.

It's in the ticker. Wash your butthole.

I'm not going to name names, but we went on a trip recently and some people had their bags overflowing and a few others left out all the essentials. I'm like, I'm not a pharmacy.

Get to pack. just right. We did.

These two. These two right now.

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Something else that we recently did is we watched House of Dragons.

We did.

What was your thoughts?

So, well, first of all,

it was really sad, I thought.

It was sad. Someone had recommended to me to go on YouTube and look up the meaty recap. So we went and looked up an 11-minute recap that was very thorough.

It went at the speed of light as well. Yeah.

11 minutes, and I was like, I don't know, should we do this? And then it was so worthwhile and it felt like it was two seconds.

I looked at you and I was like, did you get that?

Yeah, it was. And, well, also, we had been drinking a little. So the Blondes. We had gone on a walk.

We had some wine.

and I was like, okay. But the first episode I thought was good and I'm definitely invested. It was very, there were some sadsies, but I think the sadsies is going to lead to some anger and some dramas.

Oh, yeah. I forgot how incest-y it was.

They're like, this is my sibling, my wife.

So this is my sister wife, my actual sister wife.

Even worse than that, how much I co-signed on it. I'm part of the problem. The last episode, Rhaenrys, and whatever his name is, Damian, and I was like, this is hot. And I'm like, that is her uncle. That's not hot.

Who she fucks.

It's illegal.

She's had his children.

I will say, because you were a Game of Thrones person, too, and people were comparing it. They were like, this episode is going to be the Red Wedding. No, it was not. Yes, there was something very icky and upsetting, but it wasn't. No, it was not the Red Wedding.

I have really high hopes for the season because the first season got a little.

Like what?

When are people going to start naming their children? Hi, this is my son, Vhagar.

This is Aegon Vhagar, House of the Third, Dragon Eye, Stinky Wink. I'm like, what?

Imagine your kid coming home from preschool. They're like, mom, I want to have a play date with Jahaerys. I got invited to Aegon's first birth or second birthday.

Rhaenys is having a jumping castle.

The twins, Aemond and Jahaerys are having a birthday party. Okay.

Those kids freak me out. I think they're meant to look freaky, but those little twins that don't really say much.

and look exactly the same. That's what happens when you keep a bloodline pure.

I guess when your parents are siblings.

Dude.

Didn't even occur to me. Dude. Yeah.

That blonde hair is because shit's getting real watered down.

Yeah. Those little toe heads, I didn't even... I was like, they were giving Redrum the shining.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I was like, those little freaks walking around. I'm like, hmm. And he's like, you know, my little king. And I'm like, ooh.

Obviously.

Rhaenerys in real life. What is their name? Because they have to go on the daddy list.

Oh, it's Emma.

And Alyson needs to go on the daddy list, too. And I love their friendship. They give me, like, honestly, disrespectfully, vibes. Like, they'd like to hang out here. They'd be...

Emma Darcy. Emma Darcy. See, that's right. I don't want to trust my... Yeah.

That grill, I was like.

At the premiere, I was like, what are you doing to me? Wow.

Actually, in that book I just finished that was so corny, Damon in the show, he is who I pictured. Like, you know, when you're reading and you just let you imagine someone and that's who it is, even if the description isn't right? The book was terrible, but I did imagine him, which was the only good thing about it. You know how I feel about blonde men? Hate them.

I was like, wait, no offense.

Blonde men, there's just something about it, but that and blonde, like.

And you've dated some blonde men, though. Yeah.

Why do you think I hate them? I don't want to generalize, but...

You, like, really like, to date,

you're like a.

You do mix it up quite a bit.

Gotta keep them guessing.

Yeah, but you.

Anyway, sensitive topic for me. Well, I hope that people are still listening and they like that show, but maybe we'll just chit-chat about it.

This week's going.

I love it.

If we want to alienate some more people.

I have a Stanley Cup, you know that?

Okay, then you are. So, you know, but... That's what it is. But something I saw on this list of things... What?

Okay, Leia has a Stanley Cup, but I know she's not this type of Stanley Cup person. She's a little cowboy.

She does.

It's so cute. I don't get its function, really, but...

Protects things from getting into the straw. What is going to get into the straw?

Are you afraid of, like, a spider who's going to crawl in there?

Maybe. Dust.

One of the twins from House of Dragons. Like, you. go open it and you're like, ah!

I know, but theoretically, what is gonna get in there? A little fly?

Dust, baby, I was raised in the 90s. Like, I'm pretty bulletproof by this. I could take a little fucking dust.

Do you know how many flies I've probably drank? I don't even put a lid on my water overnight and I guzzle that. There's definitely, like, a film and I'm like, eh.

I drank Mad Dog 2020 before my frontal cortex was developed. So it's just kind of like...

I was like, this is gonna make me stronger.

And it has.

I'm gonna put a little.

A little flare.

A little something-something on me. It's gonna help build my immunity.

Girl, I.

People want to understand and know why millennials look so much younger than Gen Zs.

Crazy.

What.

We'll explain to people who may not have seen these videos, like, what's going on there. Because it's weird.

It's.

Well, because the original one was, like.

Where are you walking to? Where are you going?

That you could possibly need any of these supplies. Like, my bag at Coachella has less shit in it to last me three days in a desert. Basically solo.

Raw-dogging just the entire festival day, just hoping for a miracle.

Girl, what are you doing? And then people were trolling it. And it's the funniest fucking thing ever. So we all need to go around the room and say, like, what would be on ours? But, yeah, they were doing, like, condoms instead of using, like...

Like, violet and other things, you don't fucking need. Also, you don't need more than one, Stanley. But they collect them at this point.

Can I tell you something that makes me so mad?

What?

Overconsumption is such a problem. Wow. And part of it is the aesthetic, with the... Well, like, the... Not, our kind.

Okay.

I'm not talking about that. I love drinking too much. I'm saying...

I mean, I also.

No, but I'm talking about.

But Stanley cups?

Okay. So, Stanley's, the point of it is to, you know, if you're using one, you're not using plastic water bottles. But if you have 60 Stanley cups, you don't need that. I see, like, beauty influencers and they're, like, in their makeup drawers and shit. And, like, you, have a lot of stuff, but it's not like that.

There's, like, a girl who.

I got it just because I like the size of it. And mine, I. actually... The color I have is awful. I hate it.

I'm still rolling with my Yeti that I've had for, I don't know, six years.

Your Yeeta. That's a callback to, like, early 2000s MySpace. Does anyone remember this? Yeeta. It was, like, a bit they did about a Yeti.

And then I have some other one that I lost the lid to, which is why I drank out of it without a lid. And then any other cup I have, I've gotten as, like, a promo thing. Like a PR cap. It has, like, some logo on it.

Okay, Michael Scott, I decorated my entire apartment with swag.

Yeah. A lot of liquid IV. Let's just put it that way. But anyway. Yeah, no, the bags have gone too far.

Well, and also, I'm just, like, I would love to be that aesthetic, girlie. But it's just, it's never gonna be me. That purse I wore last night, I hadn't worn it in a long time. And I found in it a really old condom. But the reason, and it was, like, fucked up, so it's not usable anymore.

In my bag, I just have, like, rogue nails that have, like, fallen off. And I pick them up and put them in there. Gum that has fallen out of the wrapper. And it's just, like, collecting particles. Do you still chew it?

Oh, yeah. I found a tiny Tabasco, half a piece of gum, a lighter that looked like it could light itself. Like, it would burn the entire building to the ground. I was like, what are you doing in there?

Yeah, I have 19 lip products. I have, like, straw wrappers.

I had some coins with gum on them. Maybe that's what happened to the other piece of the gum.

It just becomes this, like, sort of.

Unstoppable force that could crawl out of your bag.

It is. Now, yeah, it's a life form. Pennies, gum, rogue earring, earring bag, safety pin, perhaps, a little corner of a receipt.

An open tampon. Not used, just open. Like, please. No one's putting that in any part of your... Throw off your pH.

Yeah, some random business card.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, a doggy ear, too. We don't know why.

Like, a hotel room key that's still in there.

Probably brings up a painful memory.

I don't want to talk about it.

A plastic duck. I have a bunch of ducks in my bag right now. I've been ducking people.

Some kind of, like, cocktail ornament. I was like, this is cute. I should hold on to this.

We're going to give our entity a weapon. It has the little neon sword.

Like, yeah, it just turns into, like, a little sword. A toothpick.

A insurance card from 1998.

Yeah. Sunglasses. Two pairs of sunglasses, probably.

Maybe the one because it took one of the pairs with it on the way out. It has sensitive eyes. We just don't know.

It is so frightening.

The difference between, like, the aesthetic girl. Like, when she shakes her purse, it makes a plush. Like, there's cushion in it, and ours sounds like jingles. Like, Krumpus, the thing he carries around. That's what my bag sounds like.

Yes. If anyone ever stops on the street, they're like, what's in your bag? I'm like...

I would literally.

No, I'd be like, oh.

No.

Maybe, like, a dollar bill. Single dollar bill.

Good time.

Definitely not my driver's license, because that's.

I have, well, also four of the same lip liners that are all this small. That could function as the limbs for my little creature.

The lid has gone missing.

And so everything.

It's drawing all over everything else.

Sometimes it's wet. I'm like, what happened in here?

Fuck.

That really took on a life of its own.

Literally. I mean, that's what happened in the purse.

Revume.

It's sus.

Um, I have.

I mean, mine.

Oh, this is important. This is a Midol bloat relief. This is actually the Holy Grail.

Yeah, mine could be these rings that have turned into a monkey chain. You know what I'm talking about?

The parking receipt.

There's dust on this. I don't know what that... That's supposed to be black. It's more of a gray.

What is that?

It's a tiny duck. From the cruise? No, I carry them with me. I actually got some after that because I... And I've been ducking people and no one have noticed.

I thought ducking was just for Jeeps.

Well, I like it and I think it's funny. So I've started doing it and no one has noticed. So I guess you might notice now I've outed you.

I have one, two.

Oh, these things.

Oh yeah, that's a good one.

And this compact that's now pretty much empty because it's broken. See how dusty it is? So I just kind of wipe it on there. Then do my powder. Well, it's a powder thing.

Matches from the Red Dog Saloon in Pioneertown, because you never know when you need to light yourself on fire.

Oh, Christ. For me, me and my red eyes, I have fucking every type of...

A mirror.

Well, that's the back side.

The front side's not too bad. You just rub it on your...

You rub it on your clothes.

You rub it on your clothes to clean it, obviously.

This Tabasco, actually this one.

This is a cap two of Ape. There's just some more wrappers.

This is a restaurant receipt from a sushi restaurant.

I have 52 cents.

Broken. Oh, you do have coins in there.

I have.

I have the world's tiniest lip liner. This is not a normal... What is this? The cap is almost the length of the entire thing. Gonna keep that till it goes down.

Look, I have my Disneyland ticket. This will probably stay in here for at least a few more months.

Let's see what this is. When I opened it, it was quite tiny. Looks like a joint. Let's see what it is.

Another parking receipt. This one's folded up. This probably has gum in it. This one has gum in it.

I can feel it. These were some really cute, expensive shoes that I had to return, unfortunately, because they were super uncomfortable.

This pack of gum that's hanging on for life.

Oh, oh, a Zoloft.

Passport. Oh, nice.

Free-flying.

Your passport is in there.

Yeah. Well, she lost her license.

No, the license lost me. Wait, a pair of earrings.

Benadryl.

That's it. I think I might have done a little bit of a clean on this bag. Yeah, no, this is... It's getting really heavy. I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 lip products.

An earring I've been looking for for a few months. Two more duck.

This is a hot girl shit.

A Starburst wrapper. I don't think I've eaten a Starburst since I've lived in my apartment, which has been about three years.

That was probably from my house.

Don't know what that's from. So many tampons of every type, just in case an unexpected flow happens. Like, what is this? I'm not even on my period. And these look like they've been chewed on by a dog.

I'm really happy that you mentioned this, because I feel like I might be getting my period.

Hair tie, because that's hot girl shit. Let's see here. 1,, 2,, 3,, 4, 5..

I feel like I want to take this Midal bloat.

Do it. Six. Two lipsticks of the... I've been looking for this. Oh my god.

See, isn't it good that we're doing this right now?

I always wear the same color, but this is like one orangey red that I love. It's called Lady Danger, FYI, MAC.

Do you want to smell this? This is... This is the Alien Mugler. Alien. I don't know.

Do you have a chin hair also?

That is a sign of the times of being, you know, when the heartburn really is becoming a priority.

Oh, a lighter.

Oh, I took a lot. See, I did... I did actually edit my bag last night because I had a lighter that was carrying around and it kept sticking to my back of my phone every time I took it out.

Well, that's suctioning to everything. Bobby pins in mine. Hair ties. A blue duck. So three pinks and a blue.

Wait.

My purse looks like it needs to take a gas exit all times too, because it's misshapen from things, but did you notice how we just shoved everything back in there?

Didn't throw away any of the trash.

I won't be taking that to the trash, so.

We didn't throw away any of the trash. Whatever. It just goes right back in.

Oh, wait, sorry. One of my favorite features about this purse is actually the gum that I can't get off, and I wear this every day.

It.

I don't know what you're talking about. I can't wait to find out.

You do, you do.

No, you've been parched. She's keeping that water bottle on her. You're running around. Uh-huh. Well, you gave it to me the other day and you're like, oh, that's not just water.

And I was like, ooh, what is it? I know we were on our walk and I was like, it's got electrolytes, babe.

It's hydrating. There's nothing worse than feeling dehydrated. We're made out of 60 to 70% of water. So when we're dehydrated, we feel imbalanced. I get the worst dehydrated headaches.

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It was on Showtime originally, so I don't know where it is now, but I'm sure it's on a bunch of places. I loved that show the first few seasons. What is really interesting about it, if you haven't seen it, it will show, like it's an hour long, and the first 30 minutes it'll show the same event, but from two different people's perspectives. So then you have to decide who's telling the truth. I just think it really taps into the way that we paint ourselves in a good light, and we remember things differently.

Yeah. So, anyway, so just want to let you know, we're going to be talking about The Affair.

Tag that on, and if you guys hate it, I don't hate it. We really want to chat about it.

Yeah.

Anyway, did you see that Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin had a kiki?

No, I don't care what they did.

Well, I look forward to the series finale of Earth. Yeah, it's not looking good, but the comments give me hope in terms of there's people...

What did they do?

Do you think they were talking about us?

I mean.

I mean, I don't think it was great. I don't think they were like, you know what? Who? I've been wrong about? America.

Correct.

Ever. No one cares. We're just like... Jake. Shane stitched a video of it and was like, well, I just feel like that's not good, but okay.

Correct. Let's fucking go, I guess.

Let's go. Let's fucking go. It's like inflation's really bad and everything is awful, but the world's going to end soon. Let's fucking go.

I don't even know what to fucking say.

The world's on fire. And there's just two people. I would probably, I can't think of two people I would want in a room less together than probably those two people. Like even my ex and that slob kebab that I hate. Like.

Funny as it.

Yeah, that's, I don't think that's what happened. Anyway, so that's what's going on there, guys. Should we get into the basement?

We can get into basement.

Who's in your basement?

It's not the person, but I'm gonna put Paul Mescal's outfit from this past week in the basement. He wore boxer briefs with his, you know, buttoned down shirt, but like it was like, not buttoned all the way. So he had like a little bit of a belly, not a belly, but his belly showing. And then like socks with like black loafers. It was an outfit that would look great on, like maybe me or someone else.

Wait, I feel like he's so straight. Let me look it up, because that's crazy.

It's just on him. It's just what I, no. I was like, listen, the no pants trend is really should be for the girls. I think he's like such a fine looking man and like he can wear short shorts. Not like that, though.

I was thinking, is that who you're talking about? Yeah. I was thinking of the guy from The Last of Us.

Oh, Pedro Pesco? Yeah. That outfit in the basement. Yeah. Because someone else posted of him and they're like, oh, Paul Mescal in the short shorts.

Not even a thigh. tack, could fix this.

And also like, why, just like a little sliver of like midriff? Like it was not serving for me.

Didn't feel intentional?

No, but it was just like, who decided? I don't know. I think his whole, like energy and vibe and stuff like that, was not for that. I don't know. Maybe just like a trouser and like a tank, you know, like just something very cool and like that whole vibe, but not that.

I think that's the first outfit we've put in the basement. It's exciting. You really are a pioneer. You look like you just came off the Oregon Trail.

Oh, okay.

Or about to get burned at the stake, but in a hot way.

Hopefully I don't have like the stereo or something.

I guess we'll find out now, won't we? Speaking of the fucking 1800s, Louisiana is in my basement this week because they have just passed a law that the Ten Commandments have to be displayed in all public school classrooms. Yeah, I'm just over it. Like, what if there are children of other religions? What if there are children who aren't religious?

What the fuck?

Yeah, that's gross. Hold on. Let me see. A new Louisiana law requiring classrooms to display Ten Commandments churns old political conflicts. Under the new law, all public K through 12 classrooms and all state-funded universities, wow, will be required to display a poster-sized display of the Ten Commandments in large, easily readable font next year.

Because there's only one religion?

It's just, I don't even know what to say anymore. It's just like so scary.

So this is a dystopian.

Yeah, it's very, very dystopian. Very. Honestly, I stopped watching Handmaid's Tale.

Oh, yeah.

Because I literally could not handle it anymore. And it's like, I'm like, oh, this is where we're headed. So, not to be alarmist, but it's fucking freaky. And the way, is it Alabama? Or is it Louisiana?

Yeah, because they, you know, the shelf life of an embryo is only, you know, and it's costly to store embryos.

As a person, do you kick it in like, negative 32 degrees Celsius freezers? Like in Jurassic Park, you just pop out for fun when you feel like it. As a person, do you think you can talk? It gets to be 60 degrees in Los Angeles and I have to, I gotta button up.

Well, I mean, that's something they can't.

It's not a person.

They cannot figure out and the conversation and the debate of like, when life begins, they just cannot quite land on it.

Guys, it doesn't, it can't eat a dungaroo. It can't smoke a cigarette. It can't breathe. I think you can't see it with your naked eye. What do you mean?

It's like, I want to laugh at it, but I also want to cry because it's like, are you, like? they're hiding commandments. Like, okay, put your little list up.

It's giving,

you shall not pass. Put your little list up. Go for it.

Separation of church and state. Like, yeah, do we not care?

Other churches, not Christians.

Not Christianity.

No, that's different. Anyway, hometown.

Nice and dynamic.

Yeah, range. We gotta have that on there. Then I wrapped it up in bubble wrap and collage pictures of dogs from a page a day dog calendar to decorate it. Again, communicating what's important to me. LOL.

Oh, you just unlocked a really traumatic memory for me that I have literally tucked away in ninth grade, because in eighth grade, I was bullied really bad and I kind of became a doormat. And so I went to ninth grade, because I went to high school and it was a new school, and I was like, I'm going to find my voice. This is great. And there was this boy, Tristan, who was the hottest. He was like an emo skater boy.

of you're like, oh, he probably just couldn't like read it.

I have bad handwriting. It's not that bad. It's never been that bad that someone couldn't understand a love letter. This poor girl, by the way, that does hurt when it's ouch. He listened to it once and threw it away.

After all those years too. Oh, devastating. The time, the effort, girl. I'm sorry.

Maddie says, Hi, gals. While listening to Disrespectfully today, I had to pause and literally call my doctor during the part about Taylor Momsen and the bat. A few days ago, I was doing dishes and moved a bowl to the side to find a squirming animal in my sink. I screamed so loud, my husband jumped out of the shower and ran downstairs naked. LOL.

Look at this.

Doc, I didn't say I was a hero, but I did say you've never seen me in the same room as a Superman.

Not all heroes wear capes. Wow. Wow.

I mean, again, that's.

I'm glad you're okay, though.

Holy shit. I'm also kind of surprised. you're a doctor just because it was in the sink and you touched things that were in the sink. But obviously, they're a doctor. They probably know better than me.

I hope. I mean, at least one. So look at that.

Am I a hero? I'm not going to say. But yeah, I am. Jurelia.

Oh my god. That's amazing. Should we dub, dub? Let's dub dub.

Anonymous says, I really.

You picked this one.

I know it's long, but it's important. It's a canon event. Okay. Anonymous says, I really, really need some advice. I absolutely love both of you and you have inspired me so much.

Yes, I'll do yes to that. Whenever someone asks me, like what I wish I could have learned at a younger age, or if I could go back and give myself advice, one of the biggest things and biggest lessons and the things that I still hold on to today, it's biggest things. It's never about what they say. They will bullshit you from here till next Tuesday. Just don't even listen to them.

And also if this is something you need to go through, it's just something you're going to have to go through. But I have a feeling if you do continue down this path with this person for any amount of time, someday, you'll learn these things when you need Botox, like us, and you'll look back and laugh at what silly, goose behavior was.

No, no, I mean, like your 20s are for going through all these things a few more times and do it. It's fun. I love being a dummy. I still sometimes I'm like, let's get messy. Yeah.

It's like that Olivia Rodrigo song. that's bad idea. I love it because it's so fun and like that's what your 20s are for. Like you are doing what you're supposed to be doing. You have to,

you have to find out what you like and you don't like. And part of that is by making mistakes and taking risks. So, but, like I said, this is the one thing that is tried, and true is that pay attention to their actions, not their words.

Yeah. And in my early 20s, I thought I liked being treated horribly, and I've learned I don't, but I've only learned that last year. So anyway.

Okay. Well, the next one, Marissa, says, hi, you guys both crack me up. I'm obsessed with podcast. I've been hanging out with this guy for two months now. He's really sweet and we have a lot of fun together.

do not ever ask that question. Remove that from your.

I don't think you ever have that conversation. I think it should just be sort of. No, you know, if you, if you wonder, if you're wondering where you are at with a man.

If I do one thing with my time on this God forsaken earth, I want that removed from every woman's lips that deals with men. What are we should be out of your vernacular.

I think you should be able to kind of ask, you know, are you seeing anybody else? Ask for exclusivity. Ask for monogamy. Ask, you know, like you should be able to.

But not totally, but not that way. So you need to replace. what are we with? Hey, this is how I'm feeling. I really like you.

Yeah, not even. But like your hormones and everything all over.

Yeah, just you'll find the moment when you guys are just hanging out. You just. it's a scary thing to do, but you have to be vulnerable and just say like, this is where I'm at. I've really enjoyed our time together. I would like more.

Yeah, I would always position it as asking like this is where I'm at. This is what I would like. Where are you at with it? Yeah, prior to getting physical and not through text, try to do it face to face, because I think kind of seeing the reaction and how they respond in physical form would be the best thing to do.

Anyway, this just went to another office quote, Dwight. A liar will perspire.

Yeah.

So like, yeah, you don't want to go crazy with it, but for me, I am a naturally anxious person. I'm sure that's shocking for all of you. And I also have OCD that manifests with like, convincing myself that I've lost things or something horrible has happened. So I pack the same way every time, whether it's in my carry-on or my check bag, but my bag that, like, stays with me is the exact same setup. So I do look at my license a bunch of times and do all of that shit.

Yeah, have a little like cocktail or something just to calm the nerves. I don't want to like shove alcohol on people, but it honestly helps just to bring things down a few notches. I mean, I'm the same way. I mean, it sounds like you are an experienced traveler and you are, you know, you can prepare yourself, you know how to pack all those things. But yeah, I think having, I always have like a toiletry bag that already has everything in it.

Well, also, I do want to say not to be like Dr. Dana, but Xanax is a benzo and they are really bad for you. There's long-term studies on ties to dementia and whatnot. And I, since I have panic disorder, I have Xanax, but I only take it if it is an absolute emergency because of that fact. So like Xanax shouldn't really be taken just to control some airport anxiety.

Finally, Catherine says, question for Katie. I just got engaged to the love of my life and, although I was fully ecstatic about it, there was a little sour taste to it because of the pressure I had to apply beforehand. Just like you in shorts, I had shared with my partner that after almost five years together and me pushing 30, I wanted a commitment. But I wish I hadn't done that. I feel like it took away some of the magic.

Well, I think that speaks to it's complex.

Yeah.

This, I don't think is so cut and dry.

No, no. But I think, ask for the things that you want, but understand that, like, is there something else underneath it?

Yeah.

Look at the things underneath. Like, are you not totally ecstatic for other reasons?

Yeah.

I don't want to like, I don't know you and I don't know your relationship and I don't know like, but maybe look deeper. I don't know.

And then also you could go to deeper places and find out that you were just, you know, maybe projecting your fears about it too. It's also, it's, you know, we don't know the situation. So also congratulations. I'm sad that you feel that I don't want you to feel like you know, there's magic.

No, because I mean, we all think that like, we're gonna be like totally caught off guard and we're like, well, I feel like I had to like, pressure him into it. But like, sometimes also men need to kick an ass.

Yeah.

Or think too hard on it. I don't know. I might not be the best person to ask.

The honesty.

We love to see it. But I'll be honest, you know. Is that it? Okay. Well, thank you for writing in.

Keep sending them in. Disrespectfullypod at gmail.com. Send them in. Send them in. Send them in.

Mm-hmm. That's it. Until next time. That's the show. Okay.

Bye.

like disrespectfully.