They Made Me in a Factory | Episode 29

Hi. Hi. Are you fighting? I just, I don't dig. Okay, are we gonna do the ASMR with the nails?

No, we're not gonna do it. I'm gonna get it out of the way right now. Okay. No.

They look amazing. No, I love the nails, but the tippy-tappies. Yeah, okay. No, we'll not do that.

For anyone that doesn't know, I got my nails done and I got them very long and like something.

I can't do anything. I mean, I was like, I was like very shocked, because they're like very cool, but they're like, I can never picture you doing these kind of.

nails, which is so wild. Well, now I know why. I'm never doing it again. Do you want to see my tool? that's now in my purse?

stylus pen to tape with?

this because, like you, can't get it out with your nails, so you stick your card on that. I've used it a ton. I mean, I don't even have very long nails, and.

sometimes the meters. Tricky. I can't even imagine. with those tricky talons. I'm.

walking around like T-Rex, because it's like I can't do anything and I'm scared, but it's only a few weeks. They have, they're like 3D. Yeah, what is this? Also, you know what's funny? Sometimes I make decisions and it's like no one told you to do that.

you're always just like, you get like very simple designs, like same way like I would do. So that's what I mean. like I to go. this extreme is like it's kind of.

making my head spin. No, it's like. my nails are black 90% of the time and they're as all Millennials, they're almond shape always and they're my real nails and like medium length. This is nuts. So anyway, I need to log off TikTok, because that's obviously where I saw this inspo.

birthday. Literally.

Welcome to, Disrespectfully with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan.

Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do. Spilling the tea. Babe, you're gonna see the power of women like Disrespectfully. How long do you think?

you'll have this on? Well, my next appointment's in three weeks. So they'll last for three weeks. and again, I'm claustrophobic by nature and it's just.

Thank God you don't have contacts. What would I do? No, for real. I almost took.

Laszlo's eye out. when I first got. I went to go pet her and I realized the distance is quicker than it usually is because my nails are so long and I almost scooped her little green eye out. I almost had that on my nail. Oh, my god.

it's great. I'm really happy for you and your nails. Thanks.

been doing, which I went, I did four yesterday. I went off the rails. I've.

definitely been like doing this. No, I, yeah. And I already talked with my.

clacking them. I'll do my best not to for the rest of the episode. When you type, are you, have you seen my text messages? I can't, first of all, the clacking, I can't deal with that because there's no subtle texting. Furthermore, I've been making these really long paragraphs because I keep accidentally hitting return and I can't type.

is, in three weeks, you're gonna go back to your other nails and not be able to.

type. Right. I thought that too, but again, I've faced. worse. You what?

worse. You've faced worse. Okay, yeah, no, that's true.

God I had such a hard childhood because I wouldn't be able to do this. Anywho, what's?

going on with you? I'm a little P.O'd. Ooh. Are we gonna talk about lawsuits? Oh.

you know what septum arms are? You know what? I saw someone about to describe that and I decided it was best that I didn't know. Should have scrolled. I mean,

I imagine you're gonna tell me right now. But I was just like, what, but I was curious. I'm like, what are fucking septum arms? Like, I thought it was gonna be like something else entirely. I didn't realize it was gonna be like a full, like, body.

just like spreads out a bit. Well, the thing is the dichotomy on TikTok, it's like, so you scroll, you see that and you scroll to some extremely hot, very, very thin person. that's like, come with me for a day in my life, being a really hot, tiny, tiny, perfect person. This is what I eat in a day. I wake up and I drink.

water. I'm so full after that. My morning water. No, but then I eat a probiotic,

nothing, nothing. And then I look at kale and then I think about salmon and I go.

to bed and cry. No, it's like more than that, but I'm just like, I don't know. Like, first of all, your day is spent doing activities and then like cooking a nothing salad and then eating a bowl of berries. And then I'm just like, that. my disordered eating would be through the fucking roof if I had to eat like that in a day where it's just like it is just so concentrated on just eating.

don't know. I don't know, man, just just pick up a snack. Well, sometimes you can tell it's enough, but sometimes it's very obviously not enough food. And if that person's being true to what they're actually eating, it's scary.

don't realize that these people, it's like, they've probably maybe been. these are habits that they've like, been doing for a really long time. But for somebody that's like, doesn't shop, like that, doesn't know how to prepare meals, like that, can't cook like, I don't know. I mean, I've been alive for this many years and I like still never go to a grocery store.

to, you know, shop. Stop. You'll be fine. Yeah, you'll be fine. Also, one of the plethora of TikToks I made yesterday was talking about people need to stop going on TikTok that has the ornery Gen Z's that hate us and saying how old do you think I look?

My blindness is like age. I don't know what age like. things look to be honest. Like this, especially this age, I don't know what a.

21 year old looks like. Well, they look like a 35 year old because they're.

getting.

really matters. Yeah, well, people... What I'm saying is, if you do look your age, it's really... That's normal. You are your age.

decide that? I don't know. Gen Z, and they hate us. I think Gen Z sets the precedence because they've been looking 95 since they were 10.. It's...

look like a hot 35 year old, like a hot stepmom. So that's not a bad thing. I'm not saying in a bad way. I'm saying you just look like an older, refined hot.

woman. You just look like old enough. It looks like we went to school together, but we didn't. I look... I could have been 16 and pregnant with you.

Facts. Facts. You know what? I saw... I thought of you.

thought of you. I mean, I'm like... For the record, I have not had a facelift. No, we've.

talked about this. That we are excited in our 40s to get facelifts and I was like hot, damn, that looks so good. I can't wait for a facelift. Mm-hmm. Something to look.

forward to. I know, but again, I always think that you're like my age.

lives, I would say. I think that's how time works. No, I'm just saying you're like in.

I'm gonna be like more in the 40s for a while.

What? People at home are gonna start commenting. I'm not saying you look older, I'm saying I look young. Yeah. Right?

good. I'm like, I feel angry right now. No, just your eyes are expressing, but not.

your forehead. Yeah, so, and that's fine. That's what I shoot for. That's what I want. So I pay for it.

Am I an almond gal?

I do love when people and it's very nice when people like. usually it happens on TikTok because they're nicer there than Instagram, but not as nice as YouTube. And they'll be like, Oh my god, Dana, you're a natural beauty. And I'm like,

yeah, there's a one girl where she's like, yeah, men will tell me that, like, they don't make them like you anymore. She goes, I was made in a lab. Basically, like, I have hair extensions. I have a nose job. I have filler.

I'm basically Mattel. Like, what are you talking about? Hi, Barbie in a plastic way. Yeah, exactly. That's not about unity.

Barbie. Exactly. But I mean, like, she looked great. Like you, unless she told you that you might not suspect it, because she didn't look nipped and tucked and lumped and pricked.

and all that. That is one of my biggest fears. It's like fucking Michael Scott in that episode when he's like, something is his biggest fear. And Creed is like, you should have much bigger fears, Michael. And he's like, obviously, being very

best money I've ever spent. Yeah, my job is to, like, always look youthful, but also like, just a little tired. I think that's a secret. Yeah. Like, balance.

is easy for us, because we are tired. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Exhausted, but.

also like, a little run down. I'm a little bit of a weather woman, but also smooth. You.

people that might not know your birthday. Oh my God. Okay, well, that's a litmus test. If you don't know it, then you're fucking fired. You didn't even say like, Thursday.

I almost was gonna be like, are you gonna let everyone know? That's why, you know what?

I was with Raleigh, and no one was hearting it or saying anything, and I was like, should I text back and be like, don't everyone respond at once? And she was like, no. So I didn't. But maybe people were scared. Maybe they were confused.

Yeah, no, you were just straight up, my birthday, be there.

Okay, maybe you said the time. I don't know. I'm gonna go back and fix that, but. Yeah.

Well, you know what? That's growth, and also worrying is like paying a debt. you don't know,

so fuck that shit. Well, and also you can only control what you can, so the amount of time, which I know sounds very simplistic, but the amount of time I was trying so hard, and I do believe in the universe and your connection to that, and the more that you try and control it,

the more the universe is like, oh, no, no. 100%. I was talking about this last night because I think there's something that happens in your late 20s, when that frontal cortex really starts to click, and it's fully formed, where you have this sort of like, oh, shit moment. I'm on this planet. I've arrived, and you're like, what do I do?

Well, your Saturn return is from 29 to 30, and mine was a fugly slut, let me tell you, and however, I'm grateful for that now, truly, the last three years, and it's not saying that nothing hard has happened, but have been the best years of my life, and I'm just like, I truly think that I hadn't found a great love because I was so stressed out about it and didn't love myself, and I know it's frustrating to hear that too, when you're single, and you're like, well, I want these things. It's okay to want those things. I do eventually want that. I hope that happens for me, but if it doesn't, life goes on. I've just found so much happiness and millions of other things, and I've gotten to do so much cool shit in the last few years because I was focusing on me.

No, I fully, fully relate to that.

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No, you seem more excited about it today. You do. I do.

Okay.

You look low about you.

Tell us. Mine, per usual, are not people. Okay. One of them's a throwback. Do you know what I think is?

That's bizarre. Tell me more.

I don't know. I just, I collected them. I thought that there was something kind of like that. I was sort of like, like turned on by. I thought they were hot.

Well, I stopped drinking cow's milk when I was like eight. But yes, they were.

But during that time, I don't know. It was like they were talking about how like milk makes them feel strong. And I was just like, I was like, I was like, boom. Big dairy propaganda. There was something just like, there was like subtle, like sexual undertones to, like the Got Milk ads.

No, they were hot.

They were hot. Yeah. I don't know. The Got Milk ads are daddy. Okay.

Is your, is he a former vapor?

He smokes a lot of weed. Yeah.

But no, weed isn't nicotine, because some people use, there's like the new that are supposed to help you.

I have one together called like Blips or something. But yeah, they're like, and they have like flavor to them. So you can like, if you need, like some oral fix. But I don't know, like, you know, it's like such like a cowboy thing or something. But when someone's like, like real familiar with their toothpick, you know, and they just like, have it.

It's hot in people's mouths, but to me, they don't funk. They don't work. I need floss. But yes, it's very sexy.

I'm not talking about using it as like a utility.

No hotness.

Not for you guys. Not for like hygiene purposes, but just as like an aesthetic. I dig.

Anyway, are those your two?

Those are my two on that. Yeah. OK. Yeah.

Mine. OK, I only had one and it was. it's not a person, but I am going to add a second, since you brought up cowboys. There is someone on TikTok. Actually, two people.

Oh, my God, that guy. I know what you're talking about. What the fuck?

He's covered in tattoos. I'm pretty sure he lives in Scotland. He's like working with his rough, rough hands. And I'm like, come exfoliate me. What is your deal?

I don't know, but I've definitely watched.

Too many of those videos. Too many of those videos. Someone's like, how many times you watch this? And I'm like, yes.

What's the question? Yeah.

Another person I put on the daddy list is someone who I'm going to not say their name, because I don't want to embarrass them, but someone we were hanging out with the other day. Daddy. You know who. Yeah, OK. My obsession knows no bounds.

Oh.

I don't know. I loved it. And she uses these sucking machines. And she gave me a really good massage of the face, which I just love.

Did she put her fingers in your mouth? She didn't. That's daddy. When they massage your, like, buccal fat.

Well, I still haven't had that. So I would like one with, what is it called?

Face gym.

Face gym. So I do need to do that. But yeah, I hadn't had one in a while. And my god, me. The next day when you wake up and you're just like...

Who's this angel in the mirror staring back at me?

So basic, but that's mine.

Those are my days. That's not basic. Facials are daddy.

Where would we be with the daddy list if you didn't remind us? You're really keeping us afloat here.

Only because I had some good ones to bring to.

I get to speak to your personalities because I never lack on the basement.

Normally, I'm pretty angry with people. And I really want to, like, I'm pretty vindictive.

Speaking of anger and lawsuits, I do want to touch on it. The Tom thing.

Sure.

Because that's obviously basement.

I had the fire of a thousand suns in me. I wanted to punch someone, anyone.

The fire of 1,000 suns. And I'm like, here's the thing. If you didn't hear, I'm sure if you listen to this podcast, you did. Tom was suing Ariana for basically going through his phone or like... What was the actual title?

Of not having authorized permission. And yeah, it was basically trying to, like, level the blame in the whole, you know, cross complaint or the lawsuit that was against him from Rachel.

He then redacted it, but we'll get to that. It said he had bad legal advice. I don't believe that for a second. I think he saw the backlash and came up because...

Why are you going to deactivate your Instagram account ahead of time? He deactivated? If you're not preparing for blowback.

I think that it is telling that he deactivated his Instagram before it was public. So I think you did know the gravity of what was going to happen. Just disgusting and shameful. And not to mention, we all know. on the reunion, he said what Raquel is doing, what Rachel is doing to you is wrong.

It was surprising that he went this route with it. I do think it was, he was ill-advised. Probably didn't understand the full weight of what it was going to be. You were still being advised and you probably should have not done it to begin with. If you're telling me I need to deactivate my account, maybe I don't.

Some critical thinking.

That would have been a good indication that it's probably going to be pretty damaging. The language of whatever is going to be put out there isn't going to be a good look.

No. Yeah, just so upsetting. So obviously glad that it's over pretty much as quickly as it started. But just the fucking audacity. My God.

Well, I don't like the attitude of just because she has amazing things going on in her life, and she's got a wonderful boyfriend, and she's in Fiji. What happened wasn't painful and awful and a terrible thing to experience. That can still 100% be true and exist in her mind and wounds in her. That is a very unfair attitude to have.

Yeah. And I mean, I don't want to touch base on the past too much, but people see, the public, how well, all the opportunities she's gotten and what she's doing. And also she earned all of them and had the talent for everything that's happening. So it's like, that also doesn't make sense for me. But a lot of people weren't there behind closed doors and seeing what we saw.

Yeah. But it's just like, it's like, okay, so what? Like, would it be more fair or unfair for these things, for them to be suing and pulling this shit out if, like, these opportunities weren't happening?

Like, I can.

Excuse me. The logic, it doesn't logic.

It doesn't logic. I can sum up, I can close this conversation in one word in regards to Batman. Loser.

L-I-S-E-R. Yeah. I hate that man. Anyway.

Anyway, what else is up?

Well, I mean, I told you, so like for a long time, you're like, I'm celibate and I was like, I'm celibate. But I told you that that's no longer for me, right? You talked about that, right? Last night? No.

Oh, no. What are you talking about? It's just a mindset, or it's...

No.

When was this?

When you were away at the wedding.

No, you didn't tell me this.

I got for you with somebody.

Wait, what?

Well, you know how like, when you feel like, you definitely have like, a sexual chemistry with somebody, and you know that eventually you're going to have to see it through because, for science?

Absolutely.

So this is like, kind of one of those cases.

Who was it? Willow Bleepit.

What?

Did I just see that right?

Yeah.

Katie. I feel like I know why you didn't tell me this then.

Well, I wanted to tell you in person.

I'm not thrilled about that, but I'm.

I feel thrilled about it. It's great. Wonderful. I feel like, based on my previous theories, theories based on like, what my projections might have been, based on the data that I had gathered earlier, I was correct on the fact that it would be successful and amazing.

So it was? Yeah. Okay, so, is that going to continue? No.

Okay. I mean, I don't know. I guess that is... Not in like a, you know, but like...

Well, I guess that is what categorizes for science. If it's usually like, we just needed to do it. Get it out of our system.

Yeah.

I am so shocked right now.

Yeah.

I cannot.

Sorry to drop that on you.

Yeah, I'm like here in this economy.

I know, but I couldn't.

I didn't know, but okay. Well, I'll be getting more information about this when we are logged off. But yeah, okay.

But yeah, so I broke my dry streak, my dry spell.

Yeah, mine's dry. And I don't know if I ever talked about the science behind my thinking, but I haven't boned since March. So it's been a long time, and I'm okay with saying that. But like, I have just decided, I'm not... The next person I sleep with is going to be someone that knocks my socks off, then my underwear.

You know, I felt the same way. I was like, you know what? Like, that's why I'm not like, dating anyone right now. Because I'm like, unless you...

Yeah, I'm just like, so over it.

Unless you like, really want to like, prove that you're somebody I need to even bother myself with. Not even gonna look your way. And that's also with, like, you know, getting physical with somebody. This person was an exception. Because I just, I was like, I gotta know.

I didn't.

Really? No! Okay, I kept that thought to myself. That was a private thought. Oh, my god.

Picking time bomb.

Yeah, put it off as long as I could.

Wow, this is a lot to take in.

Let it wash over you. But I mean, that was probably the only person I could probably like,

Was it a thing where, like, the second you saw him that night, you were like, oh, this is happening?

It wasn't there.

Literally, what the fuck? I leave, I leave you to your own devices for one weekend.

You can't leave me alone.

I can't leave you alone. I leave you, for, that's the first weekend we've been apart, and I don't know how long. That's crazy. I'm gonna stick a fucking air tag in your shoe. Did you go there?

Did you start it? No. Hmm. Interesante. Yeah.

I just am like, you, just, with a feather, knock me right over.

I know, but I, but I felt like.

You wanted witnesses when you told me this information, but that's fine. It's like when someone is going to break up with you, and they take you to a restaurant because they're hoping you won't make a scene. No, I mean, I'll make a scene.

The thing is, I, no, I'll give you all the, the info that you want. It was like, it's like, hey, you didn't tell me that you were going to be there tonight. I was like, I'm just gonna like, though you were mad. Also, you didn't ask. And then we, just like, kept texting.

What time did he come over?

Late. How late? Late. I don't even remember what time.

Early hours, wee hours in the morning.

Probably, yeah. Because Flora and Rosie came back to my place after for like a minute or so. So it was like, pretty late.

So do they know?

Yeah. Well, Flora was like texting me the next day, and I wasn't responding. And she was like worried that, like I died or something. She was, I'm a little worried about you. Which I, you know.

Well, just FYI, I was in Canada. I could receive text messages.

You weren't texting me. You weren't worried about me.

I'm always worried about you. I'm worried about you when I close my eyes. What are you talking about?

You weren't worried about my, my welfare? I'm just kidding. I was fine. I was great. I was, I was feeling wonderful.

I feel like it's definitely gonna happen again.

I don't know.

Have you guys chatted?

Much? I mean, like, again, it's not like I was like. There was no expectation after anything. Right. It's just like, that was great.

Yeah. No, I mean, I would assume. Did you stay over?

Well, kind of.

Because it was, I mean, it was already like the next day, I would assume. Wild, wild, wild stuff.

But then I was like, I gotta like go do my thing. So.

What's your thing?

I had to go to like the sandwich shop. I had like stuff to do that day.

How's the sandwich shop going? Good. Tell us what the latest is.

Um, it's, I mean, it's thriving. Obviously, we still have like lines. I mean, the lines aren't like crazy long, you know, some days a little bit more than others. But like, I mean, it's still doing really, really well. And so this week, we're doing Christmas in July.

No. Oh, my God.

How did I not tell you about this?

Apparently, you tell me nothing now.

You know, I don't know. Like.

Repunishing me?

You should ask me more questions.

Oh, my God. Not the gaslighting.

You should be more curious about what I have going on in my life.

I'm going to smack you with the microphone. Kidding. No one's ever seen that on a podcast where I'm going to get up and unhook it. I'm going to have Derek unhook it because I don't quite know how. And I'm going to smack you over the head with it.

No. So, yeah, we're doing Christmas in July this week.

That is so, Michael Scott coded. I'm obsessed.

We're leaning into like the holiday, the movie. And so we we're doing some like Avaline, obviously, wine pairings with, like the Cameron and the Kate. And then we have a special sandwich that we're calling the meet you. And we're spelling it like M-E-A-T. And then the pairings are because in the movies, also said in the movies, we have the leading lady and the best friend.

They're going to sit on his lap.

And then obviously, like, I can do it if you need.

You have a bowl full of jellies strapped to your belt.

What the fuck?

Speaking of, is this our last episode with you? Are you going to be?

Hopefully I make it to one more next week.

OK, I'm going to be pushing a little. Do you want to come to the brisk?

The brisk? Yes, you guys are invited.

You come with me.

It's a scary thing. Don't judge me.

No, I know people. It's a very hot topic, but that's what you're doing. So I'm going to support. Allison, you coming?

Hell yeah.

How many more people can I invite?

What?

How many more people can I invite? Invite everyone.

When is this? Well, it's be eight days after the baby's born. So when the baby's born, I'll send an invite with an actual date on it.

I'm like, I'm guessing it'll be on like August 7th.

All right.

Time for my birthday. I know you're the 13th, because I remember birthdays when they're a birthday. brisk, brisk, brisk. Oh, is it brisk, brisk? No, I think brisk, my whole life.

She's like a brisket.

OK, when you spelled it, I was like, the K must be invisible.

A brisket, bris.

A brisket bris covering your cute shirt. Can you just do a quick wipe for me? No, it's like just look at your belly.

I know. Stop it.

Wait, that's exciting.

First of all, I was laughing. It's on your neck. Help me. Why don't you just help out? Look up.

It's literally.

Well, you could, you could help instead of just like the way that you keep.

I'm a victim. You keep blaming me for everything today.

I think you're blaming me, though.

What flavor is this? My hand. Strawberry guava. My hand now smells like strawberry guava.

Yeah, we're also going to have a Christmas playlist, obviously, too. So it's going to be fabulous and a good time and make me feel like something again. It's been a little, you know.

Oh, yeah, I know. I actually just sent Ariana TikTok the other day, because her and I are always like this. It's literally July about spooky season. And I mean, you are, too. But like, so I'm trying to stay present, but I'm like.

I know you love to see it. Yeah, no, I mean, it was so good, like hanging out with her when I was in Fiji, but then I was like, OK. It was like such a tease. I was like, well, I guess I'll see you like in a week. But like.

Yeah, she comes over for so long. We're going to see her for five seconds and then she goes New York. Very proud. Amazing. But like, do I need to sew you to a couch?

After that, she's like, yeah, back to it.

So it goes. Wait, you're stressing me out so bad about every I'm like, do people know?

I can.

Oh, my God.

There's Celsius everywhere.

I'm an idiot. Listen to that typing. I really agree.

Did you find it via Katie?

I, because she doesn't know my birthday.

The thing is, like, I do like. I do know your birthday. It's just like it was either going to be the 25th or the 27th. I wasn't. I wasn't.

Oh, my God. Do you know who texted me?

Who?

The Air One doctor at one in the morning.

Oh, my God.

I didn't block him because I thought it was dramatic. And I was just like, I just never responded to his last text being like, tell me your address and I'm coming to pick you up. And then the one before that was the three in the morning of him changing his tune after he was like, that's the only day. he texted me at 112 a.m. and goes, I'm loving this energy and I'm loving talking to you with a smiley face.

You said that?

No, I didn't say anything. My silence should be deafening.

Maybe like because he feels so good about doing that. He should be like, you know what? I thank you, but no thank you.

I thought about it, but I was like, I just don't want to engage.

He doesn't approach you in like the, you know, $60 strawberry aisle.

Quite a pretty, don't shit where you eat, they say. And I literally eat there. So I'm like, yeah, this is a problem. Not me all high and mighty about it. I'm like, I wore an outfit and someone asked me out and it was great.

The thing is, the next time it could be a home run.

So, well, I don't know sports, but it's been a interception or whatever. Like, what's when they do something bad?

Like a foul, like a foul.

Yeah, flag. Yeah. Or like a penalty, or like get on the bench, whatever that is.

Time out. Penalty.

Anyway, so I want to tell you about that. I know that's like a really brief thing, but I was like, no way.

Do you know another thing that I saw? that people are like real upset about the girl. that's like, we need to bring heels back to the club. Do you see that girl?

That was me referencing earlier. She was one of the ones that was like, oh, looking at age and stuff. I don't look my age. And we were like, I fear you do.

But then she was getting roasted, because they're like, girl,

you'll be wearing that Easter Sunday special.

First of all, don't shame Payless.

Payless, we're big supporters of Payless.

Sunday brunch. I mean, like, girl, if you're trying to make a case for bringing the heels back to the club, those are not the ones.

It was a sensible, thick, blocked heel with like a platform,

which also is a wooden heel. that's like thick. And then the white, like thick straps. And I'm just like, these are a daytime brunch heel.

It was like, is this Amsterdam? Is this the land of wooden shoes? What is happening here? Yeah, I don't know. Someone was like, I was expecting, like a So, Kate, or like, you know, something really dramatic.

It's like, well, the discourse also, people being like, no, we're not wearing heels to the club. They're like, you know, Gen Z's not wearing heels to the club because they're smart. They're wearing tennis shoes. And some people are like, I don't want to see tennis shoes in the club. And I'm like, God, then look up.

First of all, they are smart.

First of all, I didn't. I thought no one was going to the club anymore. I'm still stuck on that part. I'm still stuck on the like club or no club. Then this one girl gets on stunning, stunning woman.

How was your trip to the emergency room? Yeah, I was like ankle.

You know, those girls, they can like literally just like, live in a heel. And I'm like, there's not. I don't know what heel anyone wears for more than. I don't know if I have to stand for more than 45 minutes. I'm complaining.

First of all, millennials should stop talking, because we were all in business cash in 2012 at the club. There is like not as fierce as we thought it was. Second of all, I used to wear straight up six inch heels because I worked at Nordstrom in women's shoes all throughout college. So like and we had a discount. So I was like spending half my money there.

Yeah, like the sitting shoes. I don't want to do that. No, hell, no. That's. I mean, I am like, everyone's like, oh, no, the ballet flats.

I'm well and I'm not.

I wear heels to like events and things like that. But I hate it.

They look amazing. But I am struggling actually about Thursday because since we're going to dinner, I was going to wear more of a heel. But then we might go. it's, you know, it's been a Monday and whatever. So we haven't gone dancing in the past years, but I'm like, this year we might go do something.

Those ones from Amazon that I got, that I have them black and silver. Ariana has them in silver that are like those, like, they're like the, the Ghani dupes, the buckle. You know what I'm talking about?

Send me a link. Yes, I do.

But they're, I got them for 50 bucks and they're also so fucking comfortable. They're like, have a squishy sole.

I love a squishy sole. You know, when you're going online shopping and then you come back to consciousness and you're like, what just happened? Yeah. That happened to me yesterday. I have many, many packages coming my way and I'm like.

Thank you for reminding me I need to return some dresses. You're welcome. That would be bad.

From the Love Island.

Yeah. Whoa. The haul. Whoa. Yeah.

Very supportive.

Very held and supported. I don't know, no strappy heel situation could dance. Absolutely not. I mean, once you get a few drinks in, you, like you can't feel anything. So it's fine.

Sometimes you don't have them.

I don't even need pants. I don't need anything. So what, what shoes am I wearing? Doesn't matter.

The amount of time, mind you, I was so broke when, as most people, when I first got out of college and was just like for the most of my life. And I had this pair of, do you remember the Sam Edelman booties with the slight thick heel that were suede and then had tassels on the outer ankle? Everyone had those. Yep. I had, that was like my shoe.

Also what, what I remember seeing at the club were the Jeffrey Campbell huge platform, like boot, booties.

With the, like, the black leather and the brown heel. Yeah.

Oh, they had, they had different color variations of the black ones, right? And I remember I wanted them so bad.

So bad. So bad.

I didn't have them, but I wanted them.

Yeah. I just, it's, I think that comfort in your thirties bleeds out everywhere. Like traveling comfortably, staying comfortable places, home, being comfy shoes. It's just like, you. just don't care as much.

Yeah. Like I'm wearing, I'm wearing Jorts right now. Let's face it.

I love Jorts. They're great. I'm so obsessed with, Jorts, have become like a really important part of me.

I love them. Yeah, really. Like, I don't know. I've been a fan of baggy clothes for a really long time. Um, mostly because I like aesthetically how it looks, but also like I love comfort when things aren't clinging to your body and you don't have to worry about, like presentation of things.

I have been sucking in since 1997.

I don't even know.

I suck in constantly. I'm doing it right now. I'm like never not sucking in. So it's nice. when you're in a baggy situation.

Sorry.

I don't know. I don't know why I'm laughing. Whenever I suck in, it like, gives me like gas.

Yeah. That's just kind of part of my life.

Makes your tummy hurt. I mean, it gives me a stomachache. And I like, and then I feel like I get like, why am I going to, I'm going to make myself so uncomfortable if I have to like, suck in or hold anything. And it like makes me feel like it does the opposite effect.

Speaking of tummy, are you hearing this? My, I'm hungry. I've been growing. Are you doing something after this?

Of course I am. What do you mean?

Where are you going?

Home.

To do what? You're such a fucking liar.

I haven't eaten in months. At one.

Well, you're not going to want to eat before that.

No, absolutely not.

Should we do the affair?

Oh yeah. I forgot about the affair.

Let's honestly, I want it. It's so long because there's so many components, but I want to try to do this in like a speed round.

Yeah. Do you like to start?

Would you like to do the first half of that?

How does it start again?

I'll do the first half.

Okay. I'm like, I literally don't ever remember like how it starts. Oh wait. No, I do. I do.

I think it's because Bruce has been such an asshole for so long that he is unable to get.

past that. Is he an asshole?

Yeah. Oh, I think there's, I think he's trying to be helpful, but I think he's also a dick.

He is, but it's like, I don't, you see the like moments where he like, really is, I think, kind of trying to like, genuinely like, help him out. But like, I think it's like too little, too late or something. I don't know. Totally. But yeah, so then, um, Noah goes upstairs, um, and gets in bed and, like, initiates a sexy time with his wife.

Because there's a, I mean, it's basically a house of dragons for fucking affairs.

With Helen. And he's like, don't wake up, which is an important thing. And so, yeah, so then the next day he sets out, um, and correct me if I'm wrong, but he goes to a lobster roll and he's obviously looking for a girl alley and, um, she's not there, but he's, like, you know, buying some t-shirts or whatever for his kids. And he asks, you know, is the girl, you know, she was here last time with the, you know, long brown hair.

You know, I thought that was such a stupid and reckless move.

Yeah. But he's getting, getting sloppy as we find out. And they're like, no, she's not here. He's like, okay, well, and, and then, you know, the boss, what's his name?

Oscar.

Oscar. Um, I don't want to call him Oliver, Oscar. He's like, oh, I'll tell her, you stopped by. And so he's like, okay. And then he asked him if there's a library nearby.

I call her Allison. Also, it's important. right before she appears, he's looking at his first published book. Oh, right. Because again, it's like his, like, hating himself and emasculating.

Right. Oh, yeah. He's, he's got his book. He's in like one of the, you know, uh, aisles in the library and looking at his book. And then Allison like pops out.

And no one's ever checked it out. His book. So he's like feeling some kind of way about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She just like, appears and finds him, which is like really interesting. And she goes, I heard you've been looking for me. Like, sure. And then he's like, yeah, well, you know, I've been having some trouble writing my book.

Yeah. Just like telling her more about the town and whatever.

Yeah, she goes, you know, maybe I could give you a tour around the island or something. Like, sure. So then, you know, they set out to go tour the island or something. And at one point, wouldn't she like sit down?

She takes. she takes him to the. Yeah. Before that, she takes him to go get introduced to a fisher. Yeah, the fisherman who, like her brother in law, shows up.

Yeah. So the fisherman. And she's like, oh, yeah, no one wants to buy some fish. And he's kind of telling him what like, what kind of fish he has. Is that a good fish?

Another slob kabob moment of like that was messy and reckless. Like, why are you guys going there?

Yeah, exactly.

Being seen together now by your brother in law.

Yeah. And I don't. he, almost like, didn't totally pick up on it, I guess, because I don't know. It's a small town. And they like when the summer people come, they do interact with the locals, I guess.

Yeah, they're walking. And that's when she sits down.

Oh, that's when she sits down. And she, her like skirt, kind of goes up and he sees that she has like a bandage. And like on her inner thigh, he kind of clocks it a bit. And then they're talking about this point. This is the part of the episode where I'm like a little like.

Yeah. So they're talking about, or is it? I can't remember if it's her recollection or his, but basically like their situation that there's the sexual tension building.

Oh, yeah. They're talking about their situation. They have like the sexual tension building. And he's telling her he's like, I can't stop thinking about you. I think about you nonstop.

And she says, why don't you just fuck me?

Oh, no, he's like, yeah. So he's like, I'm thinking about. I can't sleep because, you know, I wake up. I'm having sex with my wife. I think about you.

It's not that he just uses his digits. Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess, yeah, they don't like actually have sex, but he.

Uses his digits. Use your imagination, because he goes home and he washes his hands really quickly.

Yeah, he gets his hands in the sink immediately. And his like wife and two other kids are like watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And he's like. first, he like, looks at himself in the mirror. And, you know, he's like having one of those moments like cool.

Oh, there's a city. There's a town hall meeting.

And she mentions it to him that he should come to the city because he wants to, just like, get more integrated. He wants to like write his book about this, you know, about Montauk, about like. he wants the characters to be. people like that exist there or visit there. You know, that's what he's basing his next book off of.

It's the agent.

The agent. Yeah. So he's sitting with the agent and the agent, kind of like, starts immediately like trauma dumping on him about his life. But then he's asking him, like, what your book is about. And he doesn't have anything written, but he just is like starting to like get some ideas.

Which I would be passionate about.

Yeah, kind of crazy that one. And in this one, there's obviously, there's obviously tension that he sees between Cole and Allison leaving.

But then Oscar kind of sees, because he's, Oscar's starting to figure it out that there's something going on here. And so he's like, he's like, oh, well, there's your girl you were looking for earlier. And then he knows like, oh, you must have misunderstood. And then Ali waves at him.

Oscar is kind of like realizing, like he's now showing up to places that she is after he came in looking for her. So they're getting a little sloppy.

Very sloppy. So then cuts to Allison's part. So Allison used to be a nurse. So she goes back to her hospital, to, and this is really sad, but she goes back to her hospital because she's seeking out, like wanting to get back into nursing and seeing all of her old co-workers. And they're all happy to see her, because after her son died, she left.

And her hair. And her hair. Her hair's always down in his.

And her hair is pulled back in her version. So they go to the library and they're kind of smooch. And she kind of almost leaves. But then he sees her and she is like he goes to him because she sees, he sees her. So they're like kind of like kissing and canoodling a little bit.

He, they're like making out all over.

They're making out.

Yeah, they're making out all over the make out by like the marina. They're making on the library like. they're definitely like handsy in place. Yeah.

Yeah. And he, she takes him to the marina. And but they don't, the fish interaction doesn't happen. And she's basically telling him, like, I could get you with some guys. They could take you out overnight.

And says, don't wake up.

And says, don't wake up.

This is the same thing to each other. But yeah. And then, of course, they're both talking to the detective. And like, they're both always trying to, like, get out of there. Like, Noah's, like, I told my wife I get home from dinner.

The Lockharts. The Lockharts. Cole's family.

Yeah. Because he talks about, you know, back in the Prohibition days and all of this stuff. So we're getting a little more information.

We don't, yeah, we don't know who's dead yet. But we do know that it's pretty clear at this point that something's going to happen. Like, both Noah and Allie know that something's going to happen between them. So that's episode three, guys.

Yeah.

I hope you're all enjoying this and not eating it, because there's so much to go through with it.

But I know.

Who's in your basement?

Okay. How many basement people do you have, first of all?

Let me see. I think I have a few.

Okay. Obviously. I mean, I have a few as well, but.

Actually, I only have one today. Okay. It's a big one.

What's yours? Well, I mean, I have one as well. Tell me. I'm not going to do her. But I mean, we can generalize it.

Talking about JD Vance.

Yeah. Thank you. And his name started with, it. was like an initial name or something. But honestly, fuck that.

In general, I think that's like, we're getting into really dangerous territory and really antiquated when people are counting as less than a whole person. Yeah.

Or just like your place here, doesn't mean as much, or matter as much, because you don't have children or you can't. There's people that can't. They just, they physically can't.

Which is also funny to me, because he's pro IVF ban, which is like all these people who are obsessed with everyone having kids and then they're trying to block IVF.

Any option that they could to like. people really, really would love to have children. And that is the only option that they have. He's saying no.

He's also passionate about 100% ban on abortion. That means cases of incest, rape. If a 10 year old is pregnant, so that's rape. in any scenario, he is 100% no abortion, which is psychotic. So yeah, I'll stick him.

The thing is, and it's really scary, because he's going to appeal to people. Yeah.

And he's young. So it's, yeah, I'm terrified. Things are really scary.

Well, I'll be sat for his debate with this person here. Oh, I can't wait for that. Yeah. He's going to dog walk his ass.

So mine actually, I guess, kind of relates to that, because I feel like he would love it. Unauthorized pelvic exams during surgery.

What?

Unauthorized pelvic exams during surgery when patients are women or people with vaginas are under anesthesia, is still legal in like 36 states.

Wait, in what instance is this happening?

So when people are under anesthesia, they're at teaching hospitals, they're having students come in and they're doing unauthorized pelvic exams on women. And again, not all women, people with vaginas, unauthorized. People are waking up sore.

They're going in for like what kind of surgery?

Any type of surgery. They're going in for, like getting your tonsils out. And people are doing pelvic exams. And this, I think, only was first made illegal. I think it was California and like three other states, in 2017..

So if that happens to you, they'll just be like, sorry.

You can't consent. You can't. I'm sure. at this point, there's something, if you know about it, you can say like, please don't do this to me.

But like that is so disgusting. How is that possible? I'm sorry. I don't care. Legality or not.

Awful. As of November 2022,, 17 states, 34% in the United States did not have any laws regarding pelvic examinations. Okay. I'm sorry. Maybe.

Like, you know, when you're like, you hate that you know something, but also you're kind of glad that you know something. Yeah.

That would fall in that category.

Yeah. Like, I don't know where to file this information.

Under. hate, hate, hate, double hate, loathe entirely. For me, it's in that folder. Yeah. I mean, this one's like you dig a grave in your basement and then stick it in there.

Hometown. Hometown ears?

Even if you could, that wouldn't be happening.

I know, like whenever I do manage to buy groceries, which is like a pack of like shredded cheese. It's been 84 years. And because they will go to waste, because I'm just like not home enough. So, you know what I mean? If I want to be like the TikTok girls, it's gonna be Daily Harvest in a blender.

That's where Daily Harvest comes in as my lifesaver. I'm definitely in the grocery store more than you, but this just makes my life so much better. They've made meal prep a breeze and have helped me cut down on food waste, which I do hate. that. Like when I grocery shop, I try to make it effective, but I do that too.

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It's possible.

I would assume he would need to go to the hospitals, but it sounds like they, just like plucked it out with their beef pluckers, and then that was that on that.

I guess so.

Oh, he's one of our strongest soldiers. He's probably like,

so do you happen to have one of those things in your thing?

He's like, I just saw the movie Teeth. Have you ever had an IUD?

No.

Okay, so I did when I was in my early 20s. And let me just tell you at the time, it's now become more of a thing, but I don't think it's uniform that they use a local anesthetic. They did not use a local on me. They fully just raw-dogged it. And it was one of, they were like, there's just like some mild discomfort, and you're fine.

Oh, yeah, no, I've heard it.

So just a quick sidebar.

We're fine. I've had a colposcopy. Is it colposcopy? Colposcopy. I'm talking about the colposcopy.

They scrape out your uterus. They like take a sample.

They take a little, they like a little, take a little snip of it.

I think it's they're checking for, like pre-cancer. Like if you had an irregular.

If you had like an irregular. Yeah, they check for like cancers. Yeah, I mean, it's nuts, you know, but it's like they don't, they don't give a fuck. And it's, it is very, very painful. But it was all good.

Great.

Okay, anyways. Janna says, I love you guys so much. Day one listener. Thank you.

We love you too.

So my story is back in college. After a crazy week, me and my friends went to the bar. I had met an older, very handsome man. And I decided he will be my very first one night stand. Congratulations.

We'd love to see it.

We went back to my apartment and had amazing sex. After the sex, we had amazing conversation. He was a social worker and so interesting. We talked all night, had more sex than fell asleep. I felt that this one night stand was going to be so much more.

The problem is here, she wanted to be a city girl, but she's not. I don't think this girl is a city girl. It's devastating when you're trying to be a city girl and then you just go home and cry.

Well, yeah, but also like. if you decide you're having a one night stand, you don't, you can't all of a sudden start planning a life with them and be like, oh my God, wait, this is going to be more. You have to stay in the mindset that it's a one night stand. And when they say like, whatever, what's your name?

Like that is weird, really weird and unnecessary. He could have just been like, bye. It was, we had a good time.

Yeah, that wasn't necessary, but she also didn't know his name.

So, and I'm sure she wouldn't have said whatever your name is. It's just weird.

And also, like you, start like you start romanticizing this person, and it still doesn't occur to you that you don't know their name.

I mean, I guess I identify that because I would literally romanticize paint drying. Like I, so I, yeah, I'm not a city girl. I want to be, but.

Yeah, no, I mean, again, it's, there's an art to the one night stand and that ain't it. Anyway, should we?

Break into the car and sit in the back and surprise them when they come out.

Pass them a note. I don't know. But I mean, if you want to like, know, just to know once and for all, like if it is, but like, you have to be like, very careful of these things, because, you know, nine times out of ten, things don't work out. And then you got to see this person every day. So, like, just weigh all the pros and cons of like, whether like or not, you really want to pursue this.

I want to be very clear, because before I ask, answer your actual question, I'm going to answer when you didn't ask. I'm not saying that relationships have not worked out, that have started from coworkers, but it is a dangerous game. Like Katie just said, it usually doesn't work out. And then it is a nightmare. I have made this mistake more than once.

Yeah.

So I would just, I would just say approach with caution, but maybe keep it in person.

And again, you've only been there for a few months. So I would maybe just try to like read a little bit more of the signals.

Yeah. That's probably the biggest.

You can't take it back. And then it's just going to get awkward.

Anonymous says, hi, babes, I need advice. My best friend had agreed to go to a concert with me. So I purchased her tickets with her approval. She then tells me she can't go because she forgot she had a date to see fireworks with a guy she's been dating for about a month. After I attempted to find someone else to go with or sell the tickets, I asked her to come with me because I didn't want to lose out on the money we had spent, which is about a hundred dollars each.

It seems unreliable, seems flaky. If you're making those kinds of plans with somebody ahead of time, and then they're just gonna bail on you for someone that they're dating and they're not gonna like even see that as an issue,

Also, you've seen one firework, you've seen them all.

Yeah, no, that wasn't cool. Lame. Yeah, I think, yeah. Naomi says, enormous fan of you both. And as a Seattle adjacent girly, I need to know where Dana went to college.

Well, and I also really like how you pointed out that your attachment style does not necessarily just relate to romantic relationships. And it's really good that you know that. I'm telling you right now, if you are anxiously attached and you have someone avoidant in your life, it is going to light up your attachment style in such a big way. And you're going to feel discomfort and you're going to feel abandoned. And I think that I'm really glad, you know, which type you are, but you probably should be doing some work on yourself.

Yeah, exactly. And I was gonna say also about like the attachment style too. It's like often like finding out, like if you do like any type of like other, like shadow work and stuff like that, you can find out like where that anxiety comes from when it pertains to, like relationships and how you view other people in your life. And you gotta like work on like healing those spots in you too, because when you can be that person to yourself and not look for, like other people, to fill those gaps and voids too, like you'll become less anxiously attached to people.

Yeah.

Work on the relationship yourself. That's the most important one. Sure is.

Oh, also, I went to Washington State University. Oh, go Cougs.

I have a slightly different take on this. Okay, tell me. We don't know exactly the context of what he was saying or how he was speaking about it, or what their conversations was like, or what these women came to her and said. It could have been very much that he was speaking to these women at work for advice on how to like help his wife through these insecurities. Like, hey, you're a woman.

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. This reads to me that it's more nefarious than that. But I don't know. Maybe I'm interpreting that totally wrong.

But like, I don't, I didn't get anything super nefarious out of it. That's why it was interesting. I was like, oh, I have a different take. I think, you know, if there's insecurities that she's feeling, that's the projection that she's going to put onto the situation. I'm not saying that like there's not, like very well could have been.

Well, and just to answer your question, because you said one and two, one, you don't necessarily know. it will happen again. And two, you don't know. if you'd be told about it. Now, in therapy, you could possibly come to it, like head and make him understand.

Maybe he does talk to other women, you know. But, like, again, she has to ask herself, OK, would it have been different if he talked to a man about this? Like, what is it about this situation that bothered you the most? Is it OK that he talks to other people? Or is it just that he talked to, like, these two women?

Well, and also you and I are armchair experts. So I think you're taking the first right step. I think these are all things that you need to address in therapy. And, you know, get it figured out.

Yeah. Figure out what's best for you. I think therapy is always a good place to start, especially, you know, there's a strain and, you know. Yeah, absolutely.

Are we done yapping?

We're done yapping. The yapping has come to an end.

I really like this episode. Me too. Excited about it.

OK. All right, well, that's that on that.

You guys, please keep sending these in to disrespectfullypod at gmail.

Yeah, do it. OK, love you. Bye. Love you. Bye.

Babe, you're going to see the power of women.

Like, disrespectfully.