Name Five Woman Who Trust You | Episode 24

Do you feel rested?

I don't know, I'm still waking up. My eyes look tiny.

No, they don't. They look great. I've had butthole eyes lately. It's been a thing I've been dealing with privately.

What are butthole eyes?

Like, you know how people are like, don't get political. You guys relax. You know how we feel about him. I don't know what to say. But someone took Donald Trump's lips and they put him on his eyes and he looked the same.

Could it differentiate?

So I just call them like, he's, like the bags under and then like my need of a blepharoplasty. So lately, I've just been feeling insecure about my eyes. I've just been seeing it worsen and worsen. And part of it is from my intermittent sleep, I think. But some days I wake up and I'm like, this is going to be a bad butthole eye episode.

Like Disrespectfully.

I think you look great, though. You're killing it.

Thanks. I just I just smudged the makeup on my face and did my mascara to look like you.

Is that eyeliner from yesterday?

No. Oh, that takes three. Whenever I'm wearing shadow on my eyes, that's when I have time. If I just wear this, this was 13 seconds on each eye.

Should we talk about the elephant in the room and the reason we're fighting?

What are we fighting?

The photo.

Oh, I forgot about that.

Yeah, so obviously when I say fighting, I'm joking, but I posted a funny. I did not notice anything weird about the photo. There is a cute photo of us on our front floor and we're in the pool. We're in the pool. So the water obviously water distorts the lower half of the body.

There's like ripples and reflections in the water. I get it. But down where, like it looks like in my crotch area, it looks like there's like a snail or like a little snail penis on me. And I get, I know it's water, but OK, looking back, when you guys sent me the photo, I was.

like and it had already been up for a while. I guess it's odd, but I just my eyes would never. I was like, oh, cool. I didn't like inspect. I don't normally inspect to the genitals.

Just like right in that area. I don't know. It's the first thing I noticed.

So I jumped out the photo because when you texted me and you were like, send me the picture, I was like, oh, she wasn't supposed to, too. So I sent it to you. Why is it? Because you wanted to zoom in on it.

No, no, no. I hadn't seen it yet. I was like, oh, someone's, I don't know what I said. I'm like, I didn't get the picture. I didn't even seen it yet.

There was no mal intent on my part, but it did make me giggle because it goes back to the like, the person that doesn't charm to everyone. And it was just. I was devastated because I would never want to. I make sure everyone looks good in the photos. I charmed all of us.

OK, but the crotch.

OK, well, from the shoulders up. Amazing, 10 out of 10..

Yeah, great. Boobs are great. They did. Face is looking good.

Don't know what happened down below. Then we had a freak nectar brute accident. Oh, yeah. In a bottle of champagne. It was my way.

And now he's it my way. Yeah, right.

Yeah. And it was like nectar. It said that in small font. And we all took a sip and we were like, I mean, I didn't think it was terrible.

But I also, but like I could take, like maybe drink half a glass of it. Or maybe a full glass.

To me, it tasted like a Moscato with simple syrup in it. Well, that's, I was just not. Yeah, that's sweet. No, I hated it. But I'm really sensitive to that as being a lot of really mad at that.

I was like, should I chuck this over the fence?

I'm like, oh, no, I was.

What did it do to you?

I was so glad that she was not into it because, being the lush that I am, I will drink anything, but I was not going to be happy about it. So I took a sip and was like this faced. And then she was like, this is terrible.

My God, what is this?

Anyway, so that's that on that. How are you doing other other than that? What's new in your world?

What's new? I just saw you yesterday.

OK, I, the people listening, did not see you yesterday. Oh, what's new? Are you talking about? We've done this. I know.

Is it 24?

I will. How about this? We need to make a vibrator correction from the last episode. So when we had our vibrator convo, you guys, we know that the settings that are intermittent are for edging. We know what edging is.

It's like taking a shower. It's like you just got to do it, get in and get out. Yeah. But also when people like it's like for teasing, it's so fun. I'm like, we have very different styles.

Yeah. And but I'm like, do you think that me and one, Katie Marie Maloney, don't know what edging is, please? Let's be very fucking real. You guys have been listening long enough to know what a weird game to play.

with yourself, teasing and edging has to be like on someone else's.

Are you into it if someone else is participating, if it's not a solo show?

Yeah, I could be. But it's like I'm also not really, I don't know. Depends on the person, for one. Depends on exactly what they're doing, too. And three, I don't know, there's just two.

OK, good. I'm glad you corrected that.

I was trying to think if there's anything else. But no, I just I think there's a time and a place.

But otherwise, it's just kind of like, well, and the last person that tried doing that? to me, it was like in a setting when I was really tired. I wanted to go to bed. And I was like back in my day when I was still sexually active. I was like he.

So I guess if like, if somebody is just like really good at it, they're just. they're like really smooth about it. That's the point where they're not trying to make a thing out of it. That would be fine.

OK, so that's what it is. It's it's an element of swag. You can't tease if you don't have swag. If you are a cornwall, this is never going to work. Please, just let's get, let's get the show going.

Touché.

I like it. I just want to make.

But also, yeah, all the people are writing and saying, I love the Morse code. Just period. I'm like, are you a contrarian? Are you just trying to be different? Let me tell you, you also like.

She takes one of their hats and won't give it back.

This is that girl. She's like, Trevor, she's like, I think it looks better on me.

Trevor, it's like I'm such a silly ghost.

Yeah, I usually wear hats. I don't know why I didn't wear a hat today.

I love when you look like dad. Oh, wearing a hat. Also, that's cute. Where's that from?

This? I don't know. Where is it from?

Oh, well, really quick. Shout out. Vintage glorified girl sent me this shirt and she sent Katie mini shirts. We love her and we love her stuff. So please go check her out.

That's right. I love them. And what do we say when someone says name five songs from the band of the shirt you're wearing?

Name five women that you've made come. Is that what you're going to say?

I'm going to say new.

Mm. Also, watch them.

Watch them just struggle with that one.

Trust and orgasms. And it's like my mom.

Mm. Mm. Women that you've met. Not women that you've come out of.

Not, not when we've. the birth canal is you've now.

one of the force to love you.

Yeah. Yeah. No, no one that you've. you've occupied their whom. turn amount of time.

No, I'm not hung over. I'm just tired. I literally do. It takes me like three hours to wake up.

I know. But I was just thinking we've honestly been on this journey. it feels like a very long time ago, like that. We've that happened and that we since we started, even though it's not that long. Leah, will you go grab us a shot?

Oh, yeah. Whatever.

Did you see the very messy iOS 18 update?

I've been seeing clips, but is it messy? I saw the one about the math. That's OK. What else is happening? Tap backs are getting more.

Why would algebra be the problem? No, I don't know.

What part is messy? Because I've only seen clips where they're just like going over some features that are going to be part of the update. And none of it seems messy.

Oh, it is designed for men that cheat, for men that cheat. Please hold iOS 18 features. Let's look at, I'm going to pull up the list.

Like. I was like, you can schedule text messages now. I'm like, oh, great.

Nope. I will say one thing I like is and it's kind of freaky is the Apple intelligence images. So you basically can make your own emojis. You just type in a, I like something weird, and then it'll come up with it. Oh, so that's fun.

And there was something with when, you know, when they do their whole keynote and they're going through everything and then they're like, they give an instant or like an instance where this would be like really useful or necessary.

You know, they didn't say they're like. they basically were like, so your privacy is more protected than ever. And I'm like, yeah, so men can cheat.

And I'm sorry, women cheat to try to say, like, oh, if you lose your phone, if I lose my phone, I'm going to lock that shit anyway from like.

I don't know. Thank you. I'm going to use your Celsius for this. Oh.

That was really hard.

Hey, in the top searches on TikTok, it says iOS 18 update cheaters. That's what we want. Let's click that. That's one of the updates. You can now see within your text how many are sent versus receive.

Yeah, there's a text message scoreboard. Oh, my God.

OK, let's just list them and then we'll discuss. OK, so face ID is now required for the apps, in addition to getting into the phone.

That's so annoying.

Wait, what? OK, so now it shows the person what they are saved under in your phone. So if you don't have their number saved, it shows that. I don't save any. How do they know that, though?

Imagine the graveyard emojis.

OK, so now, when you're facetiming someone, it tells you you're doing other things. My sister's, this is just does not work.

No, I don't think you can do that. I don't know. Is this true?

Yes, 100 percent. OK, yeah. So I I don't know how you reaccess it, but basically there's a new folder that's hidden. So you put all your apps in there. And then, like when you swipe away from it, it is literally gone.

their. what is this, the accountability update in the account?

It's the accountability update. It doesn't? I don't think it really cares. Like if your app is like, I don't think it's hiding your Duolingo. I don't think anyone cheater is like caring about those apps.

I'll be turning off every one of those features.

Do you think they can be turned off?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, always. There's always going to be an option for it. You're not just like stuck. Like everyone's, going to be able to know when you read their shit.

Well, and also, what's the point of red receipts? Do you say read receipts or red receipts? Red receipts. It's red, right?

Red. Yeah, it was red at this time.

Yeah. Like, if you don't have that on specifically, what would the point be?

And that's why I'm curious, because the guy was like, oh, yeah, and this is exactly what's happening. Does anyone have the update? Do we know that's exactly how it works?

Well, I mean, yeah, they just had the keynote speech, but I know.

But the way he was explaining it was a lot more like you. If you're talking to literally anyone, they know everything you're doing on your phone. I was like, I don't know. That seems a little like much.

I guess we'll find out.

I just can't imagine them making that a feature of like, oh, if you're text messaging with someone, they're going to know like what sites you're viewing. That's a that is such an invasive feature. And I can't imagine there being anything to do with that.

I mean, time will tell. I time will tell. I believe it. But remember when, back in the day, this was like a while ago, when Instagram used to show who liked what. Remember how funny that was?

Well, I'm happy for that. I don't want people to know what I'm liking. The same way, on TikTok, you can hide your likes. I don't want people to know what I'm liking. Not that it's shady.

For me, it's more of a numbers thing. I don't want people to know how many videos I like in a 24 hour period. Because I'm never not on TikTok. How many hours a day are you on TikTok? Be real with yourself.

I mean, I'm trying to use something so ridiculous.

We had this conversation for me. I was like, I'm on TikTok four hours a day, like five. If I'm being totally honest with myself, and six, if I'm going to honestly going to be real, maybe seven. Like, if you tell the truth, if I tell, if I'm telling the truth, because here's the thing we have, we have to count the night scroll. There is nothing I get more horned up for.

Why don't I take this somewhere more comfortable?

I'm done with the day. Let me just get in there. I look at Lazlo and I'm, like, you, ready to ride? Let's saddle up. I stick her in her barefoot, dreams, receiving blanket.

Like it's the whole day.

Oh, that happens to me.

My TikTok is usually always like in bed. So it's in the morning or it's at night when I'm like trying to go to bed. I'll fall asleep watching a TikTok and then I'm having a dream. And it's because, you know, TikToks will just keep playing and playing and playing. Yeah.

Goodness, how long?

And then sometimes, like because I fall asleep with my phone in my hand sometimes and like my thumb will press on the video and then you can automatically share it somewhere. But the thing is, it's not like I'm watching anything like terrible, incriminating. Like. I accidentally posted a TikTok to my story the other night and was talking about like black cat energy. And the next day I went on my activities and I was like, everyone, liked your story.

Do you typically use the stories feature of TikTok? Never. I don't use that. Never.

The only time I ever post anything. Well, no, I've done it a couple of times. But if I ever repost anything on there, it's an accident. I'm asleep doing that.

I had something I told I think I told you and Ariana about it when you were here. It wasn't that long ago. I was fed a TikTok and it was extremely problematic, to the point that I was. I was like, why is this on my algorithm? And I went to go click not interested.

So like when you actually post something to like main story instead of close friends.

Oh, yeah.

Like the other day, I wanted just to post the the screenshot of my like home screen playing Smell Your Dick. And I want to put this on close friends. It might be a little aggressive for the population of people that follow me. And I never want to be judged. That's why I have my close friends.

Even with that number, it's still I just. But also, I really do think I'm the only person that treats it that way,

because I'm like you, treat it like a group text.

Yeah, it's just very Disney to see it. You can very, very, very small, because I'm unhinged on it.

So, well, it's nothing crazy, but it's like there's some memes that like hot dog content and things like. as such. I don't know, especially late at night when I want to repost seven people like, is she OK?

Hot dogs have become an unpaid actor.

It would take people that kind of know me or have engaged with me to understand that. that's just like the humor. But people that just only know me from, like Vanderpump Rules or whatever. They're not ready.

They're not ready.

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The alien shit.

Yes.

When we discovered, aliens were real and nobody seemed to care.

No one cared.

One of the biggest mysteries of the last century. And they're like, yeah, no, there's aliens for sure. And everyone's like, anyways. I don't remember what was going on in the world. They just had to scoot it in there when there was bigger problems happening and just be like, hey, by the way, yeah, aliens are real.

We were like, is that the government yapping again? We just really couldn't deal with it. They were like, it confirmed, which obviously we have known like area, what is it? What is it? Area 59 or whatever the fuck.

And I saw this post and it's basically kind of just summarizing. There was a study by Harvard academics and the paper suggests extraterrestrials could be living underground or inside the moon. Harvard University's human flourishing program posits, posits, posits. I don't know the UFOs or unidentified aerial phenomenon, maybe spaceships visiting Earth based alien friends. So they're just coming here to say what's up to their homies.

Well, and if they're like living on the moon, having a kiki, that's their business. Leave them alone.

No, but they're saying that they live among us.

Well, they're here too. Also their business. I'm like, I think that maybe they're, if anything, they are coming to visit their friends because they miss them, but then they're like here and they're like, this is gross.

I want to know if I've ever met an alien.

A hundred percent. Half the people I've dated.

But like, let me know about it. Take me home to meet your friends.

The whole, yeah, no, I'm like, I'm like, tell me about the waters of your homeland, because it is whack here. I don't like it. Especially being an electioneer. I'm like, shoot me right to space. Right to space.

Orange man saying that he was, he would release files or whatever. What is the documents?

Because he loves, he loves sealed documents. He loves to take them home and read them on the john.

It's his version of tick tock, scrolling literally about like area 51.

And I've listened to 51.

Like one of the only, like one of the only Joe Rogan podcasts I listened to was with Bob Lazar. And he was talking about who spilled all kinds of tea on area 51, his time in there. Like he's, saying as much as he could, without fearing for his life, probably, but it was really, it was like three hours long.

Well, and the thing is, I, God, I feel like we've lost half our audience, but I, I just believe that in such a big way. Now they're saying that they found, discovered an ocean in the core of the earth. And one of my favorite theories, they're saying there's an ocean in the core of the earth, like underneath the ocean. I'm like, wasn't it lava down there? I don't know.

Like. there's like, just like a black, it looks like just crusty. It looks like burnt pizza crust and it's floating. And it's about, did you see the one where the fish was just hanging out? And there was like a, yeah, he looked like he was fossilized a turtle and he was just getting slower.

And, like the angler fish, like what things that nightmares are made of. So I think that anything's possible. I'm not ruling it out, but the way that I, our galaxy is so vast, even more than we can comprehend. I'm like, there is many things out there. I think I told you one of the scariest and I can't remember if it was a real thing or not.

What?

Yeah. So it's basically saying like, there's many other worlds out there and there's scariness and evil that we cannot comprehend that haven't found us yet.

I'm so scared.

I mean, I'd rather be, I feel like an alien prisoner than a handmade. Oh yeah. That's what I'm saying. Probe me.

Probe me. Use me.

Hey, it's been a lonely spring for me. So yeah.

No, yesterday. I don't know what I said something, but I don't know. I was just like, I haven't been touched in a really long time.

Maybe they'll have the correct wave patterns. Maybe their vibrators are so advanced. The aliens haven't figured it out. Yes. Intergalactic.

I think we need to do some like group research of just like, what's your biggest qualm with vibrators. And then we'll take it to our space, friends. That's good. We'll just take it to the drawing board.

But here's what I know. If they know how to find outer space in this entire galaxy, they definitely know how to find the clip. So I feel good about it. And that's why I mean, so maybe I've never slept with an alien, because. Yeah.

If you can navigate space, you can navigate this pussy. Sorry. So aggressive. So aggressive. Anyway,

I think that's a whole little rant about that. But yeah, I just, it was so funny that I, it randomly popped up on my feed and I was like, the way they were like.

I don't think it was random babe.

Aliens are real. And all of us were just like.

We don't care.

Do you remember this? Leah?

Which one?

When they confirmed aliens are real. And then we all just kind of were like, whatever.

It was not even like news for two days.

Well, actually.

It's like they kept trying to get people to care. And I was like, we don't care.

I don't know why.

I don't remember.

Well, probably because you cared so little. You had, you were too busy making human life. Also, because we were discussing this the other day, the Denver airport. This is what a transition, because, in terms of the bottom of ocean, possibly being the top of space, who knows about the Denver airport, lore? Have you heard about this?

What?

Oh, my God.

I keep seeing things that they change, like contractors, like every couple of months. It's like they, they want to just remain this like elusive space. I don't, I don't know what's happening there.

So, apparently there's a great evil at the Denver airport. And this isn't like fun Martians. This is like, they're saying it's a portal.

I believe it.

So there's all these weird, like corridors,

all these big corridors. That go on and on and on.

And there's like this artwork, which, who knows, maybe they've taken it away. There's this weird, no one ever really paid attention until they did. And they're like, it's like all these children going into hell and like these weird statues. And then there's, it has a specific name. And I guarantee you, someone from back home is screaming at their phone right now because they know what it's called.

Yeah. They don't see a soul. I recently saw someone I was like, listen, as recent as like last week. And he was like, okay, so somehow I'm in these back calls or the whatever, the Denver airport. And he's just been doing for like minutes and not a single person is passing him.

Yeah. And then I woke up in a cold sweat. Like it's, let me look up. Cause Leah, if you haven't heard of this, Google, like Denver airport murals, there's tons of conspiracy theories out there, but they're so weird. Like when you really look at it, like there's this man in a, he's wearing like a gas mask and has AK and what, that's like Jafar's sword.

I don't know. It's like, it's giving, also like the whole, like back rooms.

Yeah. The back room thing I hadn't even heard about until I saw that video. And I was like, that is so freaky.

I don't even know. I mean, I was like, it's fictional, but like people have like recounted insane stories of finding themselves like in a back room and then entering into a new dimension, basically.

I mean, I'm just like, so stuck in the murals, cause it's, it's, I love, it's, it's very much like a hiding in plain sight thing. Yeah. That it looks normal if you're just not paying attention, but if you use like critical thought and you're, you actually look at it, you're like, wait, this is bizarre.

I would also artists.

Yeah.

Can they explain themselves?

Also that identify yourself immediately. I would have such a severe panic attack if I ended up in the back room area and I was alone, and it went on and on, because I have panic disorder. And one of my triggers is feeling trapped. Even if I'm in a like big space and I can breathe and I'm not claustrophobic, like if it used to be a thing for me in traffic, cause I felt like I couldn't move. Or if I was driving a long distance by myself in somewhere rural, yes, I can drive, I can breathe, but I felt like I couldn't get to the next place in a.

conversation. You just don't want to be having,

Oh, my God. I mean, we discussed this last night. when I'm done with something, I'm just like, goodbye. I can't stop. I'm not subtle about it.

And Dave's like, anyways, I'll talk to you tomorrow. And I'm like, Oh,

Oh, Oh.

And then she's out the door within 10 seconds in the Denver.

airport. So I'm running to investigate it.

What did you want to say about men who clearly hate their girlfriends and wives on their social media?

My God. Okay. So I have seen, I can't wait for the basement today too, as I always can. So I've been seeing an influx of when it's, it's mostly women who post their partners, and usually men. And the men so clearly hate them or don't want to be there.

Oh yeah. No. I mean, I see examples of that type of thing all the time. And there's also the whole theory that when ever someone posts like a really long caption for someone's birthday or anniversary, they hate their spouse or their girlfriend or wife or husband. It goes both ways as well.

Absolutely, and to your point about that, I've seen one where this guy screams at his girlfriend because she does something, and the internet comes for him, and then, yeah, they're like, we love each other, blah, blah, blah, and we're like, he is being so loud. He's telling you, he's playing in your face right now. He's telling you how much he hates you, and you are just going along with it, and it's so like, canon event. Especially if she then doubles down and comes on the internet, look, I love Simone Biles, she's an incredible athlete. The way she has, over and over and over, defended her husband, who I love to this day, that people troll him and call him when they do a lower third for him, Simone Biles' husband, and I'm like, yeah, acting like you don't know who.

Yeah, insane.

Well, the same way, I'm like, I love her, but the way that she was defending him, and I get it, you're married to him, so that's the choice you made, but that was gross, and it's like, he thinks he's the prize, which is nuts.

Well, one day, she'll.

We love you, we just want to support, protect you, and I guess if that's the choice you're going to make, it is, but it's an epidemic of women excusing shitty behavior, and partners so blatantly mistreating them, and being so comfortable, too, in a camera.

As someone who did that for so many years, being on the other side of it, now, literally, get the fuck out of it. It's not going to change, you're going to feel like a fool, and not to blame myself and all that, but it's just like, I 100% ignored so many things, and justified and excused terrible behavior and treatment of myself for way too long, so I'm not sitting here trying to pretend that that didn't happen, 100% happened, but I'm here to tell the tale of getting on the other side of it.

Well, you and I were both summa cum laude of dumb bitch university, so also the reason that we have this perspective to offer, I do think sometimes you do need to, unfortunately, a lot of these people need to go through it, but like, yeah, in this day and age, and when things can find themselves on the internet, especially, like the way that someone hits a record and they are so comfy just being total dicks to their person, and then posting it and just being like, oh no, he's just such a silly goose.

This is just how we joke.

He hates you.

Yeah. It makes me really sad.

It makes me sad, too.

Oh, I was hoping there was a little bit of levity to that one, but.

I wanted to know your thoughts on something, because, and Leigh, you can weigh in, too, if you saw this, but there was this mother of the bride. Do you see this?

No. Well, maybe, I don't know, go on.

Okay, so she was wearing this, I thought it was beautiful, this like green silk dress with a flower pattern, like floral pattern on it, and it came down a little bit, like gave her a little bit of cleavage, and on the back of it, there was this like large bow, which people like went down to the floor, which people are saying is like resembled a veil or a train or whatever, and like trying not to shine the bride. The first time I saw the video, I was like, oh my God, she looks so beautiful, and it's clear that her and the daughter have a close relationship, and I can't imagine the mother of the bride would ever wear something that the bride was like, please don't do this, or I didn't like it, so it didn't even cross my mind, and then the internet is currently split over it, and they're like, she's trying to outstage the bride, she's trying to outshine, and I'm like, I did not get that read. I think that that's silly. Do you, let me show you guys a picture of it.

Just, I want to see the picture, but yeah, but for when people get so upset about that, just because there might be an extravagant sort of element to the dress that they're trying to like upstage, it's like, um, no, first of all, if someone's clearly in a wedding gown, nothing is going to upstage that.

Also that.

Unless they're wearing white, and it is pretty much a wedding dress, or could be, could pass as one, but, oh, no, what, oh.

I thought it was beautiful, the first thing, I was like, wow, that's so gorgeous.

I think it's, but, okay, I mean, I get that it's a big sort of thing, but I think it's stunning. I think it's- No way.

Leah, go on. TikTok- Wait, let me see it. And look up-.

Can you see this?

Go on TikTok and look at Mother of the Bride, too. It's just like, I don't know, even the sweet videos of the two of them together, I just can't imagine a world in which the bride was like, fuck this bitch, you're trying to take my man, and I'm not saying that that doesn't exist in the world, but to me it's just like a really beautiful dress, and I think the bride's probably super secure.

Yeah, no, I don't think she, first of all, her dress is so stunning, and it-.

The bride. Are you talking about the bride or the mom?

The bride. Yeah, the bride. And the mom. They both look amazing, but I don't see that being a competition at all.

No, it's just a dress. It's just a green arch of the-.

Especially, I'm sure she showed it to her daughter-in-law and was like, what do you think about this dress? And her daughter-in-law was probably like, love it, get it. Now, that's what I did with Stassi, because Stassi wanted, because I was only, her and Beau only had, like, Beau had Rob as his, like, whatever, and then Stassi had me, so she didn't have a wedding party with bridesmaids and things like that, so she was like, wear something, like, couture vibe, like, really, make it, you know, elevated, so I was like, okay. And there was that element of, like, I don't want to, like, upstage. Not that I feel like I could, because her dress was so stunning.

So pretty.

But I was like, all right, so I showed her a dress that I found, and she, like, bullied me to get it. She didn't bully me.

I loved that dress.

But she was like, you have to get that order immediately, right now, oh my god, this is the one, it's perfect, da, da, da. But it was a dress that had, like, it was very, it didn't look like a wedding dress. It was very, like, extra.

It was, like, light, too, in color, and, like, made your tits look amazing, and, like, the, if I remember correctly, it had, like, not ruffles, but, like, layers to it.

It had, like, tiered, like, lace pieces, and so, I mean, it had a lot of, like, wedding dress kind of elements, but even though, I don't, I don't, couldn't see anyone actually getting married in it, but, you know, it was a dress that was pretty, pretty extra. But she was like, this is the one, get it, now. So, anyone that would try to say, like, I was trying to compete, or anything like that, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't a question, wasn't a question.

If it's a mother-in-law, or anyone at a wedding, wearing a white dress, and it's, like, so clearly a white dress, and it's shocking, that, to me, is it. But this was an appropriate color, and an appropriate, like, I don't know, I just think.

that it reminds me of someone we saw at a wedding wearing a white dress.

Oh, yeah, we were like, babe, what are you doing? What are you doing? This is, this is weird.

Like, you, do you feel uncomfortable?

Even sometimes, I see certain dresses that are, like, and I'm not a wedding person, I just, like, I'm not, I don't love weddings. But sometimes I'm, like, even for me, but luckily, I mostly wear black, so it's never an issue, but I see ones that are, like, towing the line of, like, a white dress that has very dainty flowers you can barely see, and it's still kind of, like, did you ever pause to think, like, on the rehearsal dinner of Nick and Natalie's wedding, I brought a black leather skirt, and a, because it was country chic, was the theme, and a white, remember this? And I did not even think about it, it was, like, a white button up. And I was, like, I had, I think I borrowed it from Raleigh, and then, when I got there, she was, like, yeah, and it's not that much white, so the bride won't even think about it, and I was, like, no, I said something, I was, like, or no, or maybe it was you, yeah, or maybe you, she didn't say anything, and you did, and I was, like, oh, my God, I didn't even, because it's just a button up, I didn't even think, like, white or bridal, and so.

But still, to any wedding, wedding event, maybe just avoid, oh, I would have been mortified.

looking back, because it was, like, so, and who knows, maybe it's, maybe it's a slip up, but I'm talking about at the actual wedding, if you're wearing a long white dress, it's, I can't imagine you don't consider that.

For the girl, we saw, I looked, and I was, like, that's a white dress, and it wasn't just a white dress, it was, it's, like, what someone would get married on a beach with.

It was, like, gown-y.

It was giving, like, this is what I got married in on the beach in Turks and Caicos. Yeah. Because it was that vibe. I was, like, what the fuck?

It was interesting.

It was a choice. Nobody said anything to you before you left the house.

Apparently, they need a Katie Maloney in their life.

It's just common knowledge at this point. Yeah. I don't know. If someone showed up, like, that's my wedding, I'd be, like, whatever, they're going to look like idiots, but, like, I'm not upset about it.

I know. Well, I personally wouldn't care, but I also, my dream is to never have a wedding. And if I, my dream wedding would be at a courthouse. Like, people are, I'm not. What would you wear?

No. I've said that I'm not against ever getting married. I don't want to, but if I met somebody and it was really important to them, okay, fine. But I don't want a wedding. It's like, it feels weird.

You're like, I'm late, tired.

I'm late, tired.

Well, you shouldn't be today. You're rested. Should we do the basement?

Yeah. Let's do basement.

Look, it's no secret, Katie, you've inspired me to put more effort in getting dressed for the day.

And how many me-cooks have you had since?

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Oh, yeah, we went to Disney. We didn't even talk about that.

When you're halfway through a line, and your friends are halfway through the line, like, you, miss the opportunity. When they're, like, towards the back, whatever. But if you're having to scooch by people, I'm gonna be pissed off.

More so for me, it's, yeah, about the space, like, if they have to squeeze through. But more so for me, it's about if it, yeah, if it's an individual person, too, that's either being an aloof magoof, or really is just, like, hostile or rude about it. But, yeah, we went to Disney, and we definitely experienced that.

Yeah, I was angry about it.

It's supposed to be the happiest goddamn place on Earth.

I was being very patriarchal. I'm like, I hope you have the worst week ever. Go ahead.

I hope you barf on the teacups.

Well, it just feels like it's so inconsiderate. Again, like, oh, sorry, our friends are up there. I'm so sorry. I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.

If people all merged properly, traffic would reduce by 30% in the city. It's just like, did we all not go to the same driving school? Did you go to the Denver Airport driving school? Is it an upside-down situation? There were no rules.

Or when people are driving in the far left lane, and then they realize that their exit's coming up right now, so they have to scooch across five lanes of traffic, but that backs everything up.

Also, it's not worth it. Like, if it could be a big safety issue, like, people get in accidents. I'm like, just miss your exit. You're just going to have to fix this.

They just don't want to be driving with the slow traffic. So they wait till the last second. It's giving, like, the world revolves around me vibes. Anyway.

Well, my basement's a little dark. But then I have one that's kind of light. Mine is a guy named Michael J. Ladina. I want—Ladena, Ladina.

Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, then whoever decided that punishment, both of you get in my basement. Hate, hate, hate, double hate, loathe entirely. Oh, my God, this one's really sad. So my other one is, I just saw, I can't remember whose podcast it was, but they have a segment where they do videos that get, like, crazy, like a big amount of comments or crazy comments. And there was this very unassuming, nice lady who was doing, she was doing a video about, like, differences in almond milk or something, like, at a grocery store.

And they don't know you. They haven't done anything to you. They're just, they're existing, and you're taking such issue with it and voicing your disgusting opinions. Like, that, that thought would never cross my mind to do that.

No, and it's just, like, let her make her video about what she wants to make it about. She did nothing wrong. It was just, ugh, that gave me, it made my, it made my stomach turn. Like, I was just, like, that poor person who just wanted to make this video. Like, so, please be nicer if, again, I don't think any of our listeners are like that, but please don't leave mean comments, in particular about people's appearances.

Anyway, okay. What's next? Hometown.

Should we kick this thing up a notch?

Hometown, hero.

Hometown heroes.

Eww.

Well, as we mentioned before, I had, when I was like 16, a creepy coke addict, restaurant manager, boss, the worst. But also, for him to send you those gifts and then assume that you were going to, what, make content for him, like, it was an exchange of some kind. Like, if you send someone a butt plug, do it out of the kindness of your heart. Don't do it because you're expecting a video of them using it.

In this lingerie. That is such a personal, intimate gift to give to somebody that you're not in a relationship with. But this person clearly doesn't live on Earth or in any kind of reality. That's wild.

No, he was on a bender when he did that. But we know someone, who I'll remain nameless, who kind of had an interaction with someone that I don't think they had ever hooked up. And he sent her a bunch of sex stuff too. But it was like gag gifts, basically. Like, he was taking it seriously.

Awful. Awful. Don't do that. Don't be weird. Anyway, like, unless you know that person wants it and you've been in, like, a relationship and it's comfortable, I would be so wicked out.

Yuck.

This man is trash. His post-breakup flex on Instagram was mid-photos of him with the caption, Hey, Siri, play My Way by Limp Bizkit. Okay, well, I don't love that song. I know, but that's insane. Like, photos of him?

Okay, the tooting in the kitchen thing is such a, like, Also, I'm so uncomfortable with that, so I would personally never do that intentionally, But, the double standards of it all. So many weird things about that. So, three months, three months too long.

Yeah. What else is like, you have a really nice butt. I don't want to think about what it does. It's not her butt that does it. It's her asshole that does it, first of all.

Human.

It's part of being somebody that's human.

Go date a real doll. They don't toot at all.

Yeah, and they don't talk. And they'll probably watch all the Bluey you want.

They love Bluey. Big fans of your captions.

Ew.

Yeah, I don't think you want a woman. I think you want an inanimate object.

That's right.

Should we dub dub dee dee?

Yeah, let's dub dub, dee, dee.

I mean, that bums me out for you, first of all, because it is hard. I think that the fourth stage of grieving is rip his head off. So that's okay. That's totally normal. Yeah, there's nothing worse than when someone pulls back and says they need to work on themselves and then they find themselves in a relationship immediately.

It's a man that does that.

It's a man. I didn't want to say, because, again, people think we hate men. We don't. But it's just facts. Men do that, and those men are usually emotionally stunted and they look for someone who's either younger or more emotionally mature, or, you know what I mean?

And never ignore those clear signs of somebody, because they'll say whatever the fuck. It's what they do that you really need to pay attention to, because you were probably somebody that they understood was out of their league, that had more going on for herself, that had more to offer, your worth was too high and he was just so beneath you that he needed to go find somebody who would put up with his bullshit, because he knew that you wouldn't. So it's a compliment to you actually.

It sure is. Allie says, Hi, Katie and Dana. My name is Allie and I'm a day one listener. Your podcast has become a favorite part of my Wednesdays, teaching me about female empowerment while also adding some girth to my life. I'm writing for some...

Dang, okay. Well, I feel that, in order to be in your most powerful self, you don't give a fuck how it affects other people. It's not about other people, because what you're doing is setting boundaries, you're creating standards and you're adhering to them. It's not about other people, and it's not like you're a bitch. you can be a bitch if you want, but I think it's truly about not giving a fuck what other people think about the things that you're doing for yourself.

Also, I'm very impressed by you that you have been successful in a male-dominated field. that's super difficult. I've been in a male-dominated field my entire career and I'm telling you right now if you can do that, you can really do anything. and the first step also is recognizing a pattern. so you now know you've picked a particular type of person and you've been able to connect it to your childhood and why that is so it's about now.

well, and then I was just going to say

building self-love again, something that's challenging and does take time, but again, recognizing that maybe that's lacking for you and contributing to the partners that you're choosing, also a good step.

yeah. so I think, like we talked about before affirmations, really writing down or pointing out the things that you really love about yourself and saying it in a mirror, it's really powerful. so I think, when you are recognizing those things and reminding yourself of those things and being, you know, gratitude in all of those practices, that'll help you feel more in your power and recognizing your worth too. I think it all kind of goes together.

anyway.

Anonymous says my boyfriend and I have been together for four years. our friends have mentioned to me that my boyfriend might have gay tendencies. I've had a conversation with him that if he does have those tendencies, it's okay. he always shuts down the conversation and says he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do in this situation.

I mean, I think that that can be a tricky thing to navigate because whether he does or doesn't, if he does, it's possible he's lying to himself or he is being honest with you. I was dating a guy who I helped be honest with himself about that. I mean, I don't want to put a label on it for him, but he seemed, based on the conversations that we had and how I was supporting him through that, that he was bisexual. and I do think one of the only things that men have a harder time with societally than women is being openly bisexual, and it's possible that also someone can be gay and just in denial. but it's also possible that they're just on the spectrum of sexuality, like.

be, and so I think if he has issues with his dad, it's probably he's wanting to bottle up or bury some emotions because he feels like he won't be accepted. and that's like really deep trauma wounds that take a long time and someone has to be really willing to address them, so I think, yeah, trying to be there for him, I mean I don't know what these people are pointing out as like the tendencies, because that's also kind of an unfair judgment and assessment of a person just to say like, yeah, they just seem a little gay, it's like, well, unless, like, they've made very specific comments or you've seen specific behavior, like just to say that someone has gay tendencies, well, what does that even mean? So I don't know, I would try not to listen to the opinions of other people, listen to him, just be supportive. And if it's not something that you can, it's gonna be like an issue in the relationship because you feel like he's not, then probably not the person either.

Agreed. First off, huge fan. So basically, me and my best friend went out to the bars and met these two friends and I hit it off with one of them. We end up bar hopping together and the guy and me are flirting and everything is going well and he ends up kissing me at the bar. He and his friend drive us home and we're really flirting, heavily, kissing, talking the whole night.

I say do what you want to do. because when people are like, don't send that text, just do whatever the fuck you want to do. But truly, if he's not getting back to you and he's leaving you on read, or what can be presumed to be read, I wouldn't bother with it. I was talking with a friend about this the other day because she met someone and they hit it off and he was like, oh my gosh, I want to take you to dinner, Named a specific place, asked about specific days for the following week, and then she's never heard back from him. He texted the next morning, said good morning, She texted him back and then literal days went by.

I think in this scenario, you don't have anything to lose, because it was a one-time interaction and it's not like you've had history with them and you don't want to push them away or whatever. I very much am in the camp. when it comes to men specifically. If they want to talk to you, they will. So I personally am not double texting, like I'm putting out the effort.

a night that's usually filled by alcohol and people are kind of out of their sorts usually, but yeah, I mean, you have nothing to lose, so send a text, don't send a text, whatever is going to make you sleep at night. Sometimes I gotta just be a little stupid and do the damn thing, and then I'm like well, you know what, I tried. He didn't. Goodbye.

Stupid bitch, you is always accepting applicants.

It's true.

Anyway, keep writing, guys, we're obsessed Disrespectfullypod at gmail.

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Anyways, love you, bye.

Babe,

Like, disrespectfully.