Negotiated His Way Onto Earth | Episode 26
2024-07-03 01:13:22
Welcome to "Disrespectfully," hosted by Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan. These two besties have been through their fair share of life experiences. The good, the bad, and the unhinged. In Disrespectfully, they build off those lessons to discuss being unapologetically yourself, getting it wrong, career, mental health, relationships, sex, and whatever else they feel like. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll probably crack a bottle of wine- join Katie and Dayna as they share new episodes Wednesday’s wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure to email us problems, questions, or anything you need advice on at DISRESPECTFULLYPOD@GMAIL.COM and we shall answer them on the pod!
It sounds quieter than usual in here. Really? Yeah, you know that, how. I fear that? We can't have any lagging between our conversation.
I'm trying to gather my thoughts, because sometimes it's like when I can't like gather thoughts and then I'm like, oh yeah, what am I supposed to talk about? I feel like your outfit's like very Katie-coded. It is Katie-coded. I'm like, wait, I'm like, this is like such a neat outfit.
Okay, so today, the reason I wanted to wear not pants because I weighed myself. Remember how we were like, I know, the other night we were out and I wanted to weigh myself and I and Katie was like, don't do that. Best advice you ever given me. So I was like, I just don't feel like feeling uncomfortable sitting in pants today. So I wanted to wear a skirt, but then, but I don't want to wear a short one.
And this is a dress and it's long, but I was like, but it's spaghetti strap. And I was like, I'm going to put a t-shirt on over it. So I threw a t-shirt on and I was like, you know what? I wore these with a skirt yesterday with socks like this, and I was like, we're gonna do that.
I love a loafer sock skirt moment. Yeah, it feels like schoolgirl.
It feels like, you know, how. it like slides a drone over, like beaches and beautiful things. when it's like, like an example of one is when someone, it's like how it feels eating a tuna melt, when no one says tuna melts are disgusting. And it's like a beautiful scenery in the background. Like that's how this outfit feels.
Who says tuna melts are disgusting?
Because I eat so many of them, lots of people, and they have to say something, and I'm like, tuna melts are so good. What is wrong with you?
I love tuna melts. Oh my gosh.
I eat them for breakfast a lot. Like I go to breakfast places, and if that's the only thing that appeals to me on the menu, I'll have a tuna melt.
I mean, there's bad tuna melts and then there's bad, but there's bad anything.
Well, there's bad sex, but it's still sex. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know.
When a tuna melt's bad, it's just sort of like, I'll eat it, I guess. But it's not like pizza. where it's like bad pizza is still good pizza.
I'm gonna have to push back here. I would, if there's any type of tuna melt, I'd really take it.
But when it's a good tuna, melt, whoa.
Welcome to, Disrespectfully with Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan.
Unapologetically, we're here to do what we want to do, spilling the tea.
Babe, you're going to see the power of women, like disrespectfully.
What kind of tuna do you like when it's like, really like mayo-y? or do you like when it's like, has like crunchies in it and it's more like kind of rustic and kind of a combination?
of the two? Because, like when I make it at home, I do celery, onion, lots of pickle, like diced pickle, is super important to me, so those crunchy elements have to be there, but I really like mayo. And I know it's not a popular opinion, but.
No, I mean, that's like a very common ingredient in a tuna salad, obviously.
How do you like it?
Sometimes it's over-creamy.
Truly. How do you, do you like it? like the ground mustard, like this mustard seed kind. that's more on the rustic-y way?
I definitely do when it's done right. And sometimes I've seen it with like capers in it, and sometimes they put like some type of like seed, like maybe like a sunflower seed or a pumpkin seed in it, and that fucks too. But there always has to be an element of like dill or pickle, or, you know, I want a crunch in it as well. I don't want just like this mush.
And when I get a mush, no, if there's absolutely no onion, celery, like anything, it's, yeah, it's kind of like, I'll still eat it because I'm gross, but it's not like my favorite.
I mean, I'll eat it because I'm probably hungry, but the texture has to be on point. What kind of cheese?
Cheddar. Like very well-melted cheddar.
Sharp, cheddar? Extra sharp?
I'd say sharp. Yeah. How are you going? Sharp. Yeah, sharp.
Honestly, beep this because I don't want people going there because it's already so busy. Has the best tuna melt. I don't think I've ever had that one. Something About Her has a fantastic vegan tuna melt. I've only had the...
It's not a melt. Or not a, excuse me. I mean, you could get it as a melt, but...
Tuna sandwich. I guess we're talking about two different things.
I mean, we stopped calling it a vegan tuna because I think it might throw people, but it's prepared in a fashion of like a tuna salad that has a lot of the same elements and ingredients as a vegan mayo. It's chickpea based. It's a dill and all of that, but yeah, that was very delish.
I love your shirt, too. For people who are not here watching, it looks, it's Natalie Imbruglia and it says torn, but it looks like the band t-shirt from Korn. Yeah, show that thing off.
That's very you.
Our girl, Peyton, sent us.
That's a Peyton one?
Yeah. She sent this to me.
She can do anything.
Anyway, yeah. Hi. That was a wild tuna melt segment. Good morning. Tangent.
Yeah.
This is such a really quick sidebar. Do you know what a bikini barista is?
A what?
Oh, my God. Leah, do you know what a bikini barista is?
A barista who wears a bikini?
Is this just a Seattle thing?
Do they wear bikinis?
Yeah, so, but in Seattle, some of them get to be, they're like, I would say like bikini all the way to, like pasties and a really, really, really string bikini because-.
Interesting choice for Seattle.
No, these women are out there, they're our strongest soldiers. It's freezing. They have like heaters, but recently some guy who was being a dick threw, and it was in Seattle, threw a coffee at the girl and she walked out for two seconds and walked back and grabs a hammer and straight up-.
Oh, I saw this.
. bashes in his windshield.
I didn't know that-.
Promising young woman style.
I didn't know that it was a bikini barista. I just saw, like the footage from, like, it was a drive through and she reached through the window. I didn't realize it was like-.
Wow. Crazy, but then, and then there was another one that was like a year ago, also in Seattle, which you know, a lot, of serial killer situation happening there, but a guy, she was handing the guy the coffee and it's like four in the morning, they get there really early and he tried to zip tie her, but she pulled back and closed it and he peeled out and ran away, but they got his license plate so they caught him. But anyway, I digress. Apparently that is a Seattle thing and not really an anywhere else thing. I didn't know.
people don't know what bikini baristas are.
No, but- I'm for it.
It's just where men like to go pay a little extra, and maybe some ladies pay a little more for their cappuccino.
Interesting. I mean, okay.
Cool. Totally random. I was just curious. So you guys don't know what it is. So I guess there was none.
There were none in Utah. And- Wait, where are you from?
I'm from LA. But crazy that that's not a thing here or like on the beach. I mean, but I could see that like in Miami, that feels like very Miami vibe, but all everyone's always like half naked there.
I don't know who the founding fathers of bikini baristas were, but they were like, you know, it'd be a good idea, because it rains constantly and it's always cold and awful here. Let's get their clothes off and stick them in a little tin can outside.
Done. Decided, you know, where do I invest? Do you know what's been on my mind? a lot? Tell me.
I saw this gal on nowhere else but TikTok, and she is a lawyer and she's like, listen, here's some advice on how you can get revenge that most likely will not get you arrested. But this is not legal advice on how to like seek revenge on an ex or someone that you don't like. And it's just basically where you can purchase items on Amazon, because you can't really trace back a credit card, or, you know, the original sender, because it's just. they don't give you a receipt on Amazon. It's just like your name's on the box, and that's it.
You can buy all types of live bugs and buy them by the hundreds and thousands. You can buy dead insects that you can buy, like live cockroaches.
Okay, that's so funny. you're saying that because I was listening to Julia Fox's memoir last night and she did that once. She bought a hundred hissing cockroaches.
Hissing cockroaches. And I was like, girl, I mean, and she's like, one thing. she says, she's like, guys, don't? they're not really like. they don't respond in the ways that we would, that they're mostly going to like, probably have an extreme reaction and then they're just going to like, sit there and probably she and someone said that they ordered one just to kind of see what it was like, and they're kind of just in there.
They're not like, really, packaged up in a way that like, I don't know, they're just sort of like in a box.
That creeps me out so bad because I imagine you could hear the sounds before you even open it, don't you think?
Probably. And then there's another one that was like caking someone's car and I was like, oh, what's this about? It's literally smearing cake on someone's car. and she's like, and then you get just like a little on the windshield, but then you get a little more on the wipers.
How is that not illegal, though?
I'm sure it is.
Oh, she's saying not, probably not jail time.
Yeah, probably won't get you arrested, but not found upon in the eyes of the court. Yeah. But like it's coming from a lawyer type, person that, like, can't find anything written down in the law.
Thou shalt, not cake car. Yeah.
She's like, but how many men do you also know that like? they're out there, they're like, what is this cake? You might have a little bite of it. And it's just like, but these are just like, they're so like borderline, innocent, but also so inconvenient to a person. And if you really just want to like, like wreck their day, week, maybe even month, because then I'm like, well, how do you just dispose or not dispose, but get rid of 500 bees?
You move, you leave it all in the past.
Or there's, or there's those glitter bomb ones that are completely anonymous. There's a website for this, and they they essentially explode when someone opens it, and it's glitter. They also crunch up like Doritos, like they pack these things full of, just like the most horrific thing.
And it's like because I've seen those. It's like the most fine glitter, too, that it just there's. just I don't know what you would do, like, how you would get that out of anything. Like. do you just start eating the Doritos because you're sad?
Like what? At least they have that in there.
Like, if I ever get a package that I know for sure, I'm not expecting one, I'm not opening it.
No, it's, but there's no return to sender. And it's also like I imagine it, written out like how someone would write a bransom note. Like I'd be, like, it's like in a scary movie, where it's like safety or death. Like I just don't open that. I'm like, I don't like this.
They didn't grow up in the times of anthrax, apparently, because I am paranoid.
Yeah. But, you know, some people that in particular that you might be want to send, you have to send to somebody that is as stupid, a ding dong, a real ding dong. that's going to just open it anyway, because like, oh, maybe someone send me a present.
OK, honestly, none of our listeners are stupid. But if this has happened to you, please write in about it, because we need to know the experience. And if you found out who did it and like, or if you sent it to someone or if you did it,
if you've sent anyone any live bugs, dead bugs.
Bruh, that's like getting a little.
It's just so upsetting. I do not co-sign on this at all. OK. Tana Mongeau, actually, I saw her, she posted a TikTok about it. She basically said, like, if there is some girl out there who's done you dirty or you hate them, when you go to use, buy something at Sephora, type in their phone number and use their Sephora points.
I have so many Sephora points.
There's no way that's a crime. Like, don't do that.
Don't use my.
. But like, also, what can you get? They're like, do you want this little tiny mascara or this like this little tiny tube of moisturizer that has like one drop in it? Whatever. Like, do you want to use your points?
I look at like what they have in that sad little case. I'm like, no.
Girl, that is.
. You don't get the products for ants. You use them. Every 500 points is $10 off.
Yeah. I get the $10 off. Too bad, I'm spending like $400..
A hundred percent. So I don't know. Maybe. Well, I know. But I always use the $10 off and then I have it again immediately because I'm spending so much money.
But I thought that was really funny. I was like, interesting. I wonder if anyone's ever done that and like kept track of it.
No, what you do is you always like sign someone up for, like just spam emails.
The spam emails are the keys all over the city.
Oh, to their apartment?
No, it's a fake key that says there's a phone number on it. that's like, if found, call. Oh! And you scatter them about. Oh my God.
That's hilarious.
Imagine losing your mind. Oh my God, you lose your mind.
Yeah, you would go absolutely insane. And also strangers calling you. I'm like... But again, that would never happen to me, because I don't know that number. Click.
Click. Do not answer. I don't care who it is. I don't care if I have a loved one in a medical facility and it says hospital. I'm not answering that until you leave me a voicemail and I'll call you back.
I mean, again, it would have to be a real dum-dum. Someone who does do those answers numbers that they don't know.
Not doing that. It's not happening. Like. there are just certain ways, like certain people who are scared of the ocean. They're like, well, I'm not scared of shark attacks because I'm not getting in the water.
Like, I'm not afraid of those AI scams because I'm not answering my phone unless I know you. Unless you're in my favorites, I'm not picking up.
Yeah, you can call me, if you want to reach me, but I ain't answering.
That's a way I just referenced Kim Possible last week. We need to watch Kim Possible.
I know, because it was a little mole guy. Oh, in your last post? Yeah.
Let's do daddy list. I have two. And they're... Sha'Carri Richardson is first on my daddy list. She is, first of all, just like so, cool and authentic and is a master of her craft and really good at what she does.
But she disqualified for the Paris Olympics. And in 2021, she was disqualified for THC.
Yeah, I remember that.
And that was very unfair and complete bullshit and, just like, had nothing to do with performance enhancement, if anything. I think you're less likely to run if you're getting high. I think you're more likely to get on the couch and watch The Office and have some Dunkaroos. I'm like, that's not like... Anyway, so she's just so cool.
Her hair always looks amazing and she just always has her nails done and she wears a lash while she's running. Good for you. Yeah. I just love her.
So, daddy. Daddy.
Brooke Schofield. So we're going to circle back to why she's daddy, because it's a very long story. Who's in your daddy list?
Well, mine, again, are things.
Love.
What I'm obsessed with this week is because I've been using it again and I really want to highlight it. It's my walking pad.
It's so, daddy.
You've been using it?
Yeah, girl. Pull that shit back out. Okay. Because I can do the other thing I love, which is like watching my program. I watch The Affair.
I watch the whole documentary of what happened to Sherry Papini, The Perfect Wife, on Hulu. So it's like, you know what? How about? I don't sit and I walk?
Problem solved. Daddy. I solved two of my problems. Catching up on programs and moving my ass. That's about as daddy as it gets.
So are the programs also in the daddy list or is just the walking?
No, they're not necessarily on daddy, but the walking pad is. Am I on daddy? I don't know. I don't think so.
Walking pad's a good one.
That's the only thing on my daddy list. This week has been a little bit of a slow week for the daddies, but walking pad is so daddy. If you don't have one, I recommend you get one, because it's so slim. you can slide it under a couch. It's very compact.
It rolls. It's easy. You can store it. Why not? That's great.
You can get it on Amazon. It comes right to your house. Easy.
Honestly, I prefer things on the daddy list. I think it's funnier, more delightful. I'm jealous. I mean, I guess if we're talking about appliances in your house, that foot squeezy thing would probably be mine.
Oh, let's put that on the daddy list as well, because what's more, daddy, than having your foot massage?
I spend a lot of time in that thing. I really love it.
It heats. It has little roller balls up for the bottom of your feet, and it has an air compressor, so it squeezes your toes.
It really feels good.
Someone's like, oh, that massage chair and you're basically just getting electrocuted. You're like zzzzzz. But that actually feels like massage. It's wonderful.
It's so good. When we were at Disneyland for like 27 hours walking, I got home and my feet hurt so bad I could barely take two steps. I slid my feet into that thing for like 20, 30 minutes. I swear the only reason why I could like walk the next day was because of that.
It saved my life. Well, we got home, we went to Ethel Kane this weekend and got to see her at the Hollywood Bowl and she was amazing. It was very fun. So we got her from that. We ordered Taco Bell and put on Inception and ordered some wine, and then I stuck my dogs right in that thing and just sat there eating my Beanie Cheesy Burrito and Doritos, Los Tacos, Cheesy Gordita Crunch and my pop and my wine, and had just a wonderful time.
We also had a really strange experience with the person who delivered the wine. Wait, does that?
complete the daddy list? Yeah. Okay, so that's it for the daddy list. Okay, we can.
talk about.
. We need to talk about our weird dash, and then I want to get to into Brooke and Tana. I'm sorry, this is so clunky. you guys, the daddy list is new.
Yeah, no, that's a different conversation, but yeah. The weirdest thing I've ever seen. It was bizarre. Well, yeah, okay, so Dana and I were like, we'd order the wine and then we got into like the art skincare routine. Because I was like,
wasn't sure if I was gonna stay over, but then we were having a whole bunch of fun. so I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna stay the night. So we're on the like snail part of the routine. And, mind you, we're both just in a big t-shirt and undies. That's all we're wearing.
and I'm like thinking about the Taco Bell. so I'm like, Katie, make sure your phone is near you, because the Taco Bell might be here soon. She's like, oh my god, the wine! Yeah, so.
a message from the delivery guy and he's like, I'm like, I'm here, I'm at the door. So I'm like, oh my god, is he here? Like I didn't get a phone call to buzz anybody in. So Dana like, opens up the door. Because I saw something that said door.
on your phone, but what he'd said was, I'm at whatever. he was typing. He was probably, he was drunk or something. I opened the door, this man is laying on the ground and he had been there for like seven minutes. And we're like, I was like, like over the door and he was like, oh, I'm so glad you're home.
And I was like, okay, if I'm a delivery person and you are not communicating and it's been 10 minutes, I'm leaving. Like. that's your fault. I'm charging for that and leaving.
But also you cannot stand for seven, five minutes? He was laying on the ground.
like slumped over. Like I thought something, I thought I was gonna have to administer CPR. I was like, this wasn't in the plan for the night. So I handed my.
ID and he's trying to scan it, you know, because they have to scan it to take a photograph of it, whatever, for the app. And he's really trying, it's, it's taking him a few minutes and he's like leaning against the wall and I'm just like, like the door, we have the door like cracked because I don't have pants on. So I'm just trying to like, just get my face to just, you know, observe what's happening. And then, you know, Data's like, do you want to try my ID? He's like, no, I can do it.
And then finally he realized that he's not pushing like the button to like actually capture the photo. He's like, oh, maybe it'd be helpful if I pushed the button.
And I was like, oh, yeah, that usually helps. This is how it sounded. Maybe it'd be helpful if I pushed the button.
I was like, sir, are you very, very drunk? It would appear that he was. But then, you know, and then, and then he's like, so how's that Prairie? chilled wine you guys got? And I'm like, um, I don't know.
I haven't tried it yet. Thank you. No, so he starts,
we take it, he, it's over. Like the conversation, the transaction has happened, he's taken the photo and then he starts trying to chit, chat with Katie about the wine. I'm behind the door. Katie's here. And I picture when what's his name is like, and none for Gretchen Wiener's by.
I was like, OK, it's great. Bye. And like close the door and was like, sir, you're just trying to have a chat with us now.
Like he was. he wanted to. he wanted to come in and have a kiki with us.
You want us to pour you a glass? OK, you know, come on in. Log off. Get offline, babe. Come hang out with us.
Do we got an extra cheesy beanie burrito?
Just kidding. I would never give that up. Yeah, no, that's what I think he was hoping for.
Yeah, it was. it really interrupted the flow of the routine that we were in, because it's usually such a quick transaction. And maybe this doesn't, isn't interesting or funny, but it was like.
literally insane at the time. No, I think it's disturbing. It's slightly funny in hindsight because it ended up being OK. But like, yeah, when a drunk delivery person shows up and is falling asleep at your door because you just aren't responsive for like five minutes.
Have you ever been in an Uber where it was clear the person was drunk once? What happened?
I mean, I don't know if they were drunk, but they were very swervy and it's terrifying. I don't know what. I don't really know, like what they were like. It was just it was. I mean, I got.
I'm here, I'm OK, that nothing like terrible happened, but like it is like, really, I don't know, scary. Obviously, I've had one where that I've.
actually reported. I was with my sister and this was around Thanksgiving last year. And it was like to the point that when we stopped, we're texting each other. Right. And I was like, should we jump out of the car at the next stop?
Like it was so scary. And my point about it is if you're a an Uber driver, especially your one job is probably not to get drunk.
Yeah, people are really using Uber, mostly because they they are incapable of driving. I mean, yes, sometimes they don't have a car, but it's because they themselves have been drinking and they need a designated driver, a sober driver. Right. I mean, this is why I often use like Uber, like black, because they're it's more expensive, but there are people that are typically like professional drivers. Yeah.
They're not people.
that are drinking and yeah. Well, and I think, less murdery. Those are usually the vibes I get when I'm alone at night. Like. Yeah, they just seem like real professional people.
Yeah,
there are people that are like on their way home from the bar being like, let's see if I can pick.
up some folks on the way home. Like, what the fuck? Let's get this Uber pool. go in there. We're headed home in my direction.
It's yeah. Bizarre. Can I tell you the story about Tana and Brooke?
Did you watch all of that? No. OK. I mean, I know. like the like, you explained it to me.
I.
mean, are we talking about the guy? Yeah. Yeah. Quick context. So Tana and Brooke obviously have the canceled podcast we were discussing the other day.
We just love them in general. Like I, I don't listen to it all the time. So it's more of just like their online presence. And I'm sure the podcast is great. Brooke did a recent TESA.
If we remember, a few months ago, we did. She's.
who the fuck did I marry? She literally started the first one of. who the fuck did I marry? I watched it, maybe the first three or something, but I think there were like 15 parts. So super.
tired. So also quick. recent TESA. She's in London. She's finally on her trip.
So we're very happy for her. Love to see her win. So, OK, there's someone named Clinton Cain. I had no idea who he was actually before. Never heard of him.
Never heard of him before. He is a musician. He had posted a tick tock and it said it's like his new song. It was like when you've been over the relationship for two years, but she won't stop yapping about it. And he was like, like drinking a drink and then he cheers it.
And then all of a sudden it was him in a field in a really weird outfit, like kind of doing like Jojo Siwa, basically like it just wasn't. he didn't do what he thought he did. So then Brooke was like, OK, I'm guessing she told the story in her podcast and that's what he's referencing. But like, she basically was like, oh, you want me to yap? Let's yap.
Part one of who the fuck did I marry? And then she basically was like, of course, I'm yapping about it. Still, that was an insane thing you did. Long story short, he said that his parents and brother were dead. His dad did pass away.
His mom and brother are very much alive. He faked an.
Australian accent. He, where's Brunei, the northern coast of the island of Borneo. And so to be clear,
not Australia. No, it's a different place in Australia. It does not seem to be there. Great. So he also was obviously cheating on her bunch and whatever.
And the ways in which he was gaslighting her. So recently, when she did hers, she put it in a playlist. And so, by the time I found it, I just started it and I was listening to it like a podcast. And it was amazing. Eight hour.
Yeah. Hers wasn't in a playlist. So I was like literally laying in bed, trying to fall asleep and wanted to hear the whole story. And so I had to keep like flipping through it. But she is so good at trolling people and clapping back and handling her business.
And I just respect her so much. It was. she was like, you know what, you guys, he really please stream his new song on Friday. He needs some money for therapy. Let's go.
Like, let's help him out. And it was it's.
blown up. And I'm just obsessed with it. When I so I first watched her talk about this guy and how, you know, he cheated on her. And she's like, yeah, we'd be like literally laying in bed. And he's like sending dick pics to girls.
And I'm like, oh, just another, like, dude, fuck boy behavior, mentality. Like I'm, like Taylor was all this time. This poor girl, like she's like so hot. Like what the fuck? So.
and then I go and I go and look at him. I'm like this guy, another guy that looks like they negotiated their way onto this planet. Like how the fuck on earth is he pulling any any chicks, let alone her, and then cheating on her? Like I get. he's like, you know, a musician.
He's talented, like that's. that's going to get him some play. But like, excuse me, excuse me. OK, that was women. Funniest fucking thing you've ever said.
Women of of planet Earth, do not, do not. He honestly looks like the mean security guard from Lilo and Stitch. I mean, yeah, I don't mean to like, like bash anyone's like looks, but like.
No, I know it's just more so speaks to the fact. And like, obviously, your beauty doesn't, doesn't like, set the tone of like what you're worth or not. But
when someone is like that, and when someone's going to lie and cheat and to see all of that, I'm going to go there. I'm going to go there because like who the fuck do you think you are?
Eric Benet couldn't even really pull off cheating. So like, if he can't, you should probably sit down. But she, she, basically said he, Katie, negotiated their way onto this earth.
First of all, I did not come up with that. That's like nobody. But I don't, I don't care. He fits that to a fucking tea. Like, sir, what the fuck?
She said that he they started dating.
because she liked his music. Yeah. And he slid into her DMS. And so, but she at first, she wasn't like, oh, I want to date this person. She told him no a bunch of times.
And then she's like, she's like, I hate a song called Chicken Nuggies. I'm like, girl, we're like, that's it. Please sit down. Let's chat. If you had told me.
If you had told me any title of any song that I thought that man would have, and you said Chicken Nuggies, I'd go. Yeah, that makes sense. But also, like, I, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta. also like the Dunkaroos interlude. Like that is the fuck he's doing.
So she goes to his concert and like, has a good time, but it's not as much of a thing. And I think she goes back the next night for the second show. And then they go to a diner after and they're, like, you know, eating chicken, eating chicken nuggies, drunk, hanging out. And then he tells this sob story about his family. So, as someone with a dead mom and Leah, you with your dead dad, like anyone that fakes the death of a parent or a sibling or someone super close to you, first of all, I am a big proponent of like you speak things into existence.
So I would that's like so dark to me, because you're energetically like risking people's lives. You love him. I just believe that. So it's just such a weird thing to say. But, like, you really couldn't come up with any other.
Why couldn't you? Yeah, I suffered from gout and ADHD. Like there was literally no other plague you could come up with besides my family. Yeah, when I was really young, I got beat with an ugly stick.
And this is why the Intergalactic Council was, like, you, got to get out of here.
We're going to send you to Earth. Good luck. But guess what? We're going to make you.
talented. So we're going to make you have. you're going to look like someone who'd be great on.
radio. Yeah, we're going to give you the face of radio. I'm so mean right now, but I don't care.
because this person is a psychopath. You're lying about your dead family. We can talk about your looks. Yep. Sorry.
That's that's what you get. She also explained they're like explosive fights and the way in which he would gaslight her. Like he is a master manipulator, too. He probably is a sociopath. The whole thing is insane.
But then so obviously I go to his video and the comments, there's like three million views on this video and there's like 40 comments, people and who knows, this is a marketing ploy on his team's part. People are making TikToks where they go and comment, something like supporting Brooke, and they refresh it and it's gone. Someone is staying on all of his videos and immediately deleting any comments that don't say like, oh, my God, I can't.
wait for this song, blah, blah, blah. Well, it's just going to look weird when he has that many views and the comments are like his engagement is not going to be. I don't know. It's going to be.
pretty obvious. No, that's well, that's what people are saying. Wait, I'm dying. Comments are turned off. Yeah, I bet they are.
And then he also posted someone crying and being like, saying I love you, for last night, after a healthy breakup, listening to the song. And you know how we feel about crying on the Internet. Yeah, his. OK, so his comments are turned off. Yeah.
And he. Oh, yeah, it's here. Wow. Comments are turned off. They couldn't keep up with it.
He is just like, did you have you seen this as the original one? Don't make me look at this, bro. Who told him to put that outfit on? He is. Who needs?
who needs enemies when you have a team like that? that put you in that outfit? We're like, this looks I thought like when I was just like, there's no way that it really invigorated me. I love when a horrible guy galvanizes woman. The last time I felt this horned up about something was probably the Matt Reif revolution that she started.
She is just like, I love her and I want her to find happiness and perfect person. But in the meantime, I want men to keep playing in her face like this because she.
just is doing the Lord's work, doing the Lord's work. We're here for it. Another relationship playing out on the Interwebs. It's on the list, the Tyler and Gabby. What do you feel about the Tyler and Gabby interview to relationship?
now? I know they did a hard launch. They did. If anyone doesn't know, let's give backstory, because this is like probably maybe more niche than anything.
else. Well, first of all, have you been following it since the very beginning? Because I just found out about this yesterday. Oh, no. Yes.
Then you give the background then, because if you've been,
following this guy, Tyler, whatever his last name is, I don't know. He's very tall. He's like six, five. And he does those like on the street interviews with people about height and like, what's your ideal height? Like what, you know, would you date someone over this height or this height?
His are always about height? Typically, yeah, because he's a really tall guy. He's actually six, nine. Okay. Six, nine, six, five, whatever.
He's tall as fuck. So then he meets this girl named Gabby and she's like six, one or six foot? Six, one. Six, one. Thank you.
Numbers are hard. And she's gorgeous. She's blonde. And they like immediately look really good together. And they have this like immediate sort of like chemistry and banter.
And, you know, he's of course asking her, like her height preferences. And she's like, you know, someone six, five or taller, you know, six, nine. Sure. So people are shipping them immediately in the comments. So they go, have like a little coffee date and then they like, are giving their sort of like thoughts and opinions on the other person afterwards.
And everyone's just like hardcore, shipping them. And it's just sort of like kept going after that. And they went to Disneyland.
or Disney World. Do you think that they got told they couldn't get on rides? They're like, sorry, you're too fucking tall. You're not doing this. They had this whole like Disney World.
and like. he is kind of like a Star Wars nerd. And he convinced her to get a lightsaber. He had this one that he like, really was obsessed with when he was a kid and he was like so excited about it. And she got the Darth Vader one and they like, hooked it on their like little pants and they just like their whole like.
I think it's like really sweet. And it's just like, yeah, of course, like the Internet, like was like hardcore about it. But I think they like, genuinely like, had this like little spark when they saw each other and they met each other. And he was just doing like his like thing that he does on his account, just interviewing people in the street about their dating preferences and height preferences and whatnot. And met Gabby.
When I went back and watch it, they're a very hot couple. The sparks are so clear. And it's like an immediate. I loved just finding it because I went back in all the comments and saw the old. everyone was like, are we all watching this happen?
Like, it was just such a cool, funny, like you can see in real time, as they're both realizing like, oh, like, who's this? And so he just did a video and said they're an official relationship now. So it's been like a month. They're fully dating. And I think a lot of the comments were very sweet and supportive, but they basically were like, don't be chronically online with your relationship as much as we've loved this.
Be careful with it. Protect it. I thought that was really cool. I think that's.
really important, because then people feel like they're owed it and they want to just be having constant updates. And I think that just, I don't know, it becomes not your own. I don't know. As someone who has had their relationship heavily on display, and I don't know, I think it's important to keep things private and for yourself. I think it's cute that they've had this whole, like the beginning stages and getting to know it, like sort of for people.
I think they can keep it for themselves. They don't need to share that.
No, because it's just like the court of public opinion. You don't need to open yourself up to that kind of scrutiny. And I really think they're going to make it. I know it's really early stages,
but I'm like, it's early days, babes, but I think they have, you know, something really special.
No, I'm like, was in my bed, like on my tummy, like kicking my feet, like watching. I was like, oh my God, this is so cute. So I'm really rooting for them. Like, if they don't make it, I don't be dramatic, but I will take a vow of silence. The podcast is over.
I'm like,
they're so cute. Love doesn't exist. But I mean, I just love, you know, it's not some people meeting on apps and not saying that apps can't work, but it's just like seeing people IRL in the wilds meeting, connecting in that way. It's like bringing that back, bringing back, going out into the world, meeting someone, taking a chance, meeting up with them again and seeing where it goes and not doing the texting. Yeah, we'll meet up.
Never having it happen. You know, I don't know why. for a while I was getting served a bunch of people talking about their like hinge horror stories, about getting stood up. And I'm just like, this is.
so depressing. It is. It's so sad. I'm like, well, and this was something where it was like, we saw it happening in real time, but we didn't know. it was just supposed to be an interview on the street.
So it's like if you were watching Love Island or whatever, then it's, you know, people are looking for love. But I think this is just such a wonderful example of that kismet thing that can happen. And we'd love to see it. That's what I mean. It's just like,
you never know when love will find you. Is that corny? No, I loved it. It hasn't found me yet, but I'm like, what does it mean? You just go out by your day and some guy comes up, he's like,
can I ask you a question? And you're like, I do. Is that the question? Okay, wait, should we do the affair? Let's just take a little quick turn.
And okay, I'm kind of worried about this. Let us know if you guys hate it. Cause I'm like, if they haven't watched it, but even sometimes I feel like we're listening to show breakdowns, as long as we have context, it's still, you can follow along with it, even if you haven't seen it. Have you seen the affair, Leah?
I haven't, but a lot of people commented on YouTube, excited about the affair. Okay, good. Wow. Cause. yeah, I have not watched the affair since I watched it.
when it came out the first time I watched, I only watched it one time. I didn't rewatch it or anything like that. So I sat down and watched it and I was like, wow, this is great show. Where do we begin?
Episode one, season one. So it basically starts out with this family that lives in New York and it's a bustling, busy morning and they're trying to get out the door to go to the Hamptons for the summer. The wife, what is her name? Helen. Helen.
So it starts with this couple and their four kids. So Noah's the guy, Helen's the wife. She has very wealthy parents that own a home in the Hamptons. So they go there for the summers. So they're just getting out the door.
They, this, you can tell that there's like an energy about him that up until this point, he's basically saying in the narration, like I was really happy. Like I, there was nothing missing from my life, but then there's all these little Easter eggs of like kind of a midlife thing starting and like him feeling.
Yeah. And it seems that him and his wife, like, do still have a, like a great relationship. They seemed very, very attracted to one another. It seems like they do have a healthy intimacy, you know, between them, but you know, they do have young children, you know, up until like a teenager as well. So there does seem to be things that do maybe get in the way of life and things between.
them, but you know. They're trying to have sex in the morning and their young daughter, like, runs into the room. So, like it doesn't happen. So they go to the Hamptons, they stop at a restaurant and they, we meet Allie, who is the other, and obviously this is called The Affair, so it's about an affair. She's the waitress.
She's the waitress. She's kind of like taking the order, chatting. You're getting all the personalities. They have. their oldest daughter is just like this, like ornery teenager, who's very like, wants to be a model and she's just has an attitude.
Their young daughter starts choking. She like swallows a marble or something. So everyone's freaking out. The.
server's there. Yeah. Noah is able to like give her some type of, you know, Heimlich or is able to get the marble out of her, breathing. Her air hole. Her air hole.
And yeah. And then, you know, everyone's like freaking out. They're trying to calm the kids down. He goes to go find his other son in the bathroom. And meanwhile, Allie, the waitress, comes out of the bathroom and she's visibly very upset.
And he's asking her, you know, are you okay? She goes, yeah, that was really upsetting about your daughter. And he's like, okay, well, thank you. You know, are you going to come back and take your order? Kind of like trying to make her laugh a little bit.
And then later on that night, the next important things that happen, they go to the.
parents' house. The grandparents. They're at the grandparents' house. We meet them. The mom is, you can just tell, like awful.
She's very hoity-toity. He is a writer and he has just written his first book, Noah. And he's also a teacher, but he really enjoys it. And his father-in-law is a very successful author and is rich because of it. So we see a conversation between the two of them where you can just tell he's emasculated by him.
And, you know, he's like basically rubbing in his face that he gave them a loan to buy their brownstone in New York. And he's like, oh, well, good. You have a second book coming. You can quit your horrible job. So he has this looming second book that he needs to be successful.
And the father-in-law is basically like everyone, has one book in them. Very few people have two. So he kind of does that. And then that night, him and his wife, Helen, are having sex. And she's like, look at me, like looking for intimacy.
And she starts.
laughing. Yeah. Another emasculating thing that happens. And it's just, and he's been getting a little bit of. what he feels is attention from other women that he's kind of caught off guard, that he seems to be enjoying, you know, like he doesn't want to engage in it and he doesn't want to indulge, because, you know, he's, he seems to be very dedicated to his family and his wife, but like he's not getting that kind of attention that he is getting outside of it.
You can see.
like he's struggling. Right. So he can't sleep. Their kid then also comes back and interrupts and they fall asleep, the wife and the kid, and he gets up and goes for a walk. He goes to the beach and finds Ali there.
He walks Ali home. And then there's this whole thing about an outdoor shower. He leaves and then he hears yelling. So he goes back and Ali's having sex with someone on a car and he watches. Her husband.
Well, we don't know, it's her husband yet. Right. Cole hasn't been shown. But so, yeah. So she does.
He does. From his perspective, he's just seeing her having sex with someone. Right. So now the episode starts over and it's the same day,
but starts with Ali's perspective. Right. Yeah. So now we're seeing Ali and Cole's, her husband played by Joshua Jackson. So hot.
So hot. He's on the daddy list. He's super on the daddy list. And you get the sense that, like there's something kind of off about their marriage and their relationship. And you eventually find out kind of like what it is a little bit.
And it starts. it's in the morning and they're having sex. And she asks him, how many times do you think we've had sex? And I don't know what he says, but it's weird. He's like a lot.
And she's like 10,000,.
probably. Also to note, they're having sex and she shoves her finger in his butthole really quickly because she wants it to be over. You can tell he's more into it than she is. And she's in a weird mood. And we find out that their son died.
Yeah. She goes to a cemetery and visits.
a gravestone. She says, it's your birthday. And you don't know. It's very sad. And you can just see like.
there's just like this, like emptiness in her. And like it's a very sad moment for her. And then she goes to the diner where she works. And now you're seeing her perspective of meeting this family. And it's interesting because, you know, her version of it, or what she sees of it is very different.
So she sees the little girl choke on the marble. And in Noah's eyes, like, he was the one that got the marble out of her. But in her eyes, he's now holding his daughter up by her ankles and is asking her to smack his daughter's back. And that's how the marble gets.
dislodged. We're already starting to see also the big differences. So, like not only that, but so Allie. in his version, her hair is down. It's like flowy, wavy.
Her dress is shorter. At one leans over the counter. In her version, her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. Dress is longer. They're all wearing different, different clothes.
The family, even where they're sitting, is different. Yeah. That's what is so special about this. show is like when you you now have to decide who's more correct or telling the truth. Yeah.
And he's a little bit more flirty, flirty,
like turning on charm a little bit more. Yeah. So it's like that whole incident at at the diner, with the marble played out very differently in her eyes. And like even the exchange where he sees her in the bathroom, plays out different. He tries to offer her money for helping out.
And she's like, no, no, no, I can't accept that. And then, even when he meets her later on in the beach, you know, I before. Oh, a big thing that happened in his version. She offers him a cigarette and he's like, no, I don't smoke. She's like, come on, have a cigarette.
So he accepts one. later on the beach. He sees her and she goes, oh, what are you doing here? And he goes, I was going for a walk. What are you doing?
Like? it's like a like. he like kind of jokes that he found her. And then he offers her a cigarette and says that they're like these French cigarettes and she should have one. Two important differences.
Obviously,
I noticed right away, because cigarettes are my favorite. Ali has American spirits. I know that blue box anywhere. OK, she has them. She's like and she's wearing a shorter dress and she has sand on herself and she pulls it up and shows her buttons like I've sand everywhere.
And then she asks him, in his version, will you walk me home? Then he, in his version, he offers to walk her home. Yeah. In her, excuse me, in her version. Yeah.
They're French cigarettes. So even I love that, that contrast between like a French cigarette and cigarettes called American Spirit. And then like, obviously that's such a stark difference. So who the fuck actually had the cigarettes? That's such a big discrepancy of like you guys are remembering this so differently.
And then, yeah, in her version, he's like, let me walk you home, like pressuring her. The shower thing. in his version, she's like, want to see my outdoor shower? And then she gets naked and he's like, I don't know what I'm doing here. I have to go.
No, I think both. No, because then in, but then in her version, he's like, wow, an outdoor shower. Can I see? And he walks up and then.
she offers both. both times she offered to like ask him if he wanted to try it or see and he.
left. in her version. She's basically saying you're the aggressor of looking at the shower. And then she's. he kisses her on the cheek and she like kind of coils.
And then he's like, well, I guess I'll see you around. And she's like, that's hard to avoid because it's such a small town. So, yeah, then he leaves. But she gets, does get in the shower. But after he leaves, he leaves.
Yeah. So then Cole pulls up from this bonfire and we saw this whole exchange where Cole, honestly, I thought was like really cold and was like, can we try to have a good day today?
Well, he's. he gets dropped off by this girl that they both like, no, she's like a friend. But, you know, she makes some comment to Cole. She's like, if you're going to fuck her or something, can it just not be in front of me? And then they get into this whole like heated exchange, you know, because she's very withholding towards him.
And, you know, he's like, you're not the only one that lost a son that day. And obviously that's been something that's come between them.
and like a big issue that they're having because she's still struggling with the death of her son. And I'm sure he is, too. But people grieve differently. There are different timelines. And so like this, he's already like annoyed with her because he had invited her to the bonfire and she didn't want to go.
And he's just mad. So they get in this fight, but then it turns into like, let's have sex. And so they just start having sex. So in his version, he walks up and it just looks like a stranger and she's like really making eye contact with him and like she likes it. And then in her version, she sees him and is like really creeped out by it.
At first, when she sees him, I think she's worried. Cole is going to see. So she's kind of like, but then she likes it. Gets into it. She comes because he basically is watching her.
Yeah. It's just so.
interesting because the their versions are very different of like each other. And it's like, I think, we. it's almost like the lies that we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better about the activity that we engage in, when we know it's immoral or wrong. You know, we always want to make the other person the bad guy in the situation, so we can be the.
victim. Totally. I think the most telling thing about this show, like because you do flip flop and you're trying to understand who you believe when it shows someone in their perspective, doing something shitty or shady. I tend to believe that's the truth, because they're like remembering it as like, yeah, yeah, I did this gross thing. But like when they're trying to make themselves look too angelic or too non participatory, like, I don't know, it's, it's just.
it's kind of like a detective gadget show, like Inspector Gadget. Like what's who's telling?
the truth here? Mm, hmm. Yeah. I can't remember how it plays out if it becomes like less stark.
in the differences. I can't remember. I think it's, it's always this way and it's just part of the show. Like it's such an, I've never seen a show that's has that in it of two different perspectives of the exact same thing. And then you decide.
But anyway, that was episode one, season one. And that was us. It's a complicated show to explain. I'm now realizing. So if you.
guys hate this, let us know. Sticky, don't have an affair and you won't have to, you know. Also, I can't remember. They're obviously talking to someone. Is it like a.
I don't remember who they're both talking to, because Ali, at the end of it, she goes, how long is this going to take? I have.
to pick up my kid. Oh, OK. And that's how it ends. They're talking to a detective. Yes.
So they're talking to a detective. And so in present day, it's a detective and it shows them and they both. Ali looks different. Her hair short. She says, I have to pick up my kid.
We know in the show at that time her child was dead. She didn't have any kids. And it doesn't really explain why yet.
they're talking to a detective. They're narrating this story. Looking back, that's how it's being.
told anyway. It's so scary the way that you can't trust your own memories. Like shit really does change over time. Yeah. Have you been following the Karen Reid case at all?
Have you been following this, Leah? OK, it's everywhere. It's all over the news. We should get a verdict back today. Basically, there's this woman who they, the majority of the public, feels is being framed, and her lawyer is doing a masterclass in getting through this trial.
There's so much bias against her. Basically, her boyfriend died and was a cop. So they are basically trying to say that, like, someone moved his body, framed her, that she ran over him while she was drunk and didn't remember. It's this whole thing. It's really fascinating.
If you don't know about it, please go look more into it. But it's like in real time, it's basically a big conflict of interest because all the people, the detectives doing it, they're all like friends and family and they all have these like text messages and there's this weird shit going on. But it's really interesting and I'm curious to see what the verdict is. OK. I don't want to take them through the whole case because we just went through the whole show.
But really interesting. I was more. so just curious if.
you guys had heard about it. No, I'm not familiar, but I'm going to have to look it up. Look it up. You'll have to also check out the Sherry Pini thing, because that was fucking crazy. I've never.
heard of that in my life. What's it called? Sherry Pini? It's on Hulu. It's a documentary.
about this woman who in 2016, I think it was, she went missing. She went on like a, she dropped her kids off and went missing. They thought maybe she like, went out for like a run. She lived in like Shasta County. And she texted her husband, are you going to be able to come home for lunch?
Like wink, wink. Because she dropped her kids off with like a daycare center or whatever. And he said, I won't be able to today. And then like just vanished. And they were for 20 something days, could not find her.
They found her phone eventually because he was able to do like the find. my phone was just like on the side of the road or in a ravine or something like that, with like hair on it. And then she like, shows up one day, just like like on a 911 call, like, oh, my God, help, help. I just was, like, you know, on the side of the road, running, like had like a some type of like thing, like not a handcuff, like a restraint, like on one arm, holding bruises, all of her body, branding on her body, everything like all of that. And has this whole elaborate story of how, like these two Hispanic looking women picked her up, held her somewhere in a dark room.
She was chained to like something in a closet, like had this whole elaborate story, but also couldn't remember. And this thing, and she just was like, had, like all this, like PTSD. It was just like this whole, like whole thing. She just wanted to be with her husband and her kids. That was it.
She just wanted to be left alone. Well, then, suddenly the FBI gets some DNA match on her clothes. And it happened to be from a guy that she dated and knew in the early 2000s. She had orchestrated this entire thing. It was so fucking nuts.
This woman was crazy, crazy. Cuckoo bananas, crazy.
Okay. Definitely going to watch that. Speaking of true crime, before we jump into Basement, because the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me happened to me, and I have to shout this out because I'm sure we have crossover between their listeners and ours. This is why I asked you this, Leah. My Favorite Murder is probably the only true crime podcast I still listen to.
And I've just been listening to it forever. They're so funny. Once a week, they do shorter episodes where people write, you know, their hometown stories of like connections to murders or whatever. And I wrote in and it got picked, but I wrote it in like three years ago and then rewrote it and shortened it, because they kept saying like, look, you guys, this person sent this in a bunch, like keep sending them. And so I sent mine in and I could not believe that I listened to it.
It was the first story of the episode. If you care and you listen to MFM, the episode is Minnesota 389.. And you can, it was their June 24th episode. You can go there and listen to my Green River Killer connection. But yeah, that was like, so exciting.
I thank you. It's really, really peaked. Everyone I've peaked.
Who's in your basement? It's not a who again, but I'm going to go ahead and put period cramps in my basement because I had the worst of them yesterday. It was so bad. I was literally about to call an ambulance. I shit you not.
I woke up around 430 and I was like, okay, cramps. I went to go get my little heating pad. Didn't even make it back to my bed, because I started pouring sweat, like pouring sweat. So I went to my bathroom and I started feeling really nauseous. Every, maybe once a year I get ill, physically ill, from cramps.
I was like, oh no, this might be it. I'm like, I just at very least need to lay on the cold tile in the bathroom. So I went to do that and I just was like, I just laid there and I was like, it just started to get worse. And the most, I was like, this has to be what labor is like. I feel like I'm about to give birth, even though I'm definitely not pregnant, but like it just started to get more intense and more intense and more intense.
I started crying. I was just like, I cannot believe this. pain. Like this is insane. I've never experienced anything like this.
Eventually I threw up and it didn't stop for an hour. And the pain didn't stop. The pain didn't even go down. Eventually, it just like went away a little bit. Like there's the intensity.
I mean, it was still like dull for like the entire day, but like, fuck that. I've yacked from period, cramp, pain. It's crazy. Yeah. There were some other things that happened, but I'm only going to go with that.
But yeah, it was so gnarly. And the way we're just expected to have to do our normal lives when that's happening is crazy. Yeah. Luckily you were able to tile lay. Yeah.
Oh my God. Yeah. I was,
I was drenched. My clothes were like soaked. So period cramps go right in the basement. Like, and also like men could never, never. That's what I'm saying.
Sorry. Again, like, why do you always talk shit about men? Because you couldn't, you just couldn't do this. Sorry.
Anyway, who's in your basement? I'm sorry that happened to you. So, I mean, Clinton Kane, that goes without saying from earlier. Yeah. Boeing is my basement, because they just sent two people to space and they can't get them down.
Why would, why is Boeing? There's a new phrase going around.
the internet called, they can't even put people 30,000 feet in the air. So what are we talking?
about? The phrase is, if it's Boeing, I ain't going.
Yeah. So I don't totally know cause. I'm not an astronaut. I know it's hard to believe what the issue is, but they sent them up there. There's some like fluid leaking or something, and they basically cannot detach from the thing that they're attached to.
So they were supposed to be back about, I believe, at the point we're recording this, like 10 days ago. So they're scrambling, trying to get a solution figured out, but it's a man and a woman and they're stuck up there. And that's very sad. Boeing, I don't really know what your problem is these days, but you really, you're, you're acting like.
a slob kebab. Not one person was like, Hey guys, um, Boeing's not really killing it these days. Maybe, maybe we, maybe we don't, maybe we just put this on a pause. Maybe we stay in the stratosphere. I'd say probably good.
They're barely managing that. Like, maybe we're, maybe we don't do space with that. I'm this, this, the dumbest timeline we've ever fucking been in.
No, it's crazy. So that is definitely in my basement. And then I want to make sure I remember her name from the Karen Reed case that I was talking to. this judge. is, she's so biased.
I don't know what's going on. I've never seen something so unprofessional, but judge Beverly Canoe, Canoe, I don't know if that's how I'm saying her name wrong. You can get right. in the basement, sister. They were arguing yesterday.
Her lawyer was arguing this on the form for the jury to fill out. There was no not guilty box in one of the sections. It just was guilty and then nothing. And so he basically was like, can we reprint these and put not guilty? Because what do they do?
And she was like, they just don't check anything. And I'm like, a clerical error. Like, why do we need to make this an issue? And her judge, again, the attorney was doing such a good job. But the woman like laughed, like Scott, because it was so ridiculous.
And she's like, oh, this is funny, Miss Reed. We're done with this. And moved on. She's just biased. So who is it?
Beverly Doosh Canoe. Beverly Doosh Canoe. That's right. You know, that's why I couldn't. I wasn't sure how to pronounce it.
Doosh Canoe. Doosh Canoe.
Great. Great. Love it. Should we get into some hometown here? Let's fucking go.
Let's go. Let's.
fucking go.
Ariel says, Hi, pretties. You had an episode discussing terror, banishment, psychics, and it inspired me to write in. Before the days of TikTok, we sometimes had psychics on the radio station, maybe only in Las Vegas. I don't know. One day I was feeling like I would be alone forever, embarrassingly, because I was only 22..
But I digress. I heeded her advice and made a list of every quality I would want in a man and put it under my mattress. I listed everything I could think of, okay? Physical qualities, character traits, has to love my cat, you get it. I met my now husband shortly after he ticked all the boxes and the time span from meeting him to marriage was 34 days.
We're going on 13 years now. But my meet cute is not why I'm writing you today. Shortly after we got married, we moved to Japan and my mom stayed in my house while I was away. Any guess as to what I realized years later? That list that I left under my mattress.
The list with every trait I wanted. My mom did move her own bed in and must have seen, must have a big dick in gel pen with a heart squiggle. I obviously never asked and she never brought it up, but she's dead now. So bless her for taking that gem to her grave. I love you both so much.
I'm a day one listener. Dana, I relate to you so much. I also have OCD and was very young to the dead parents club and I thrive in dark humor to get through. Keep killing it. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with that.
This is so funny for so many reasons. First of all, did I write this in? Because I also have done this before. It hasn't gone well for me yet, but like my list that is so specific, it's on my phone. But as to what I want in a person and one of the things is has to love my cat, obviously.
Yeah, no, I was like, Dana, I'm like, dear, disrespectfully. That's hilarious, and I'm really sorry you have a dead mom, but I'm glad you're funny. And I bet she did see that and she was like, that's my girl. Yeah. I love it.
Did you ever have psychics on a radio station?
I don't know. Not that I can think of. Doesn't mean that wasn't a thing. I just like, didn't really stand out to me, but I love that. That's sick.
I mean, maybe it's like.
Bikini Breast in Seattle and, like Las Vegas, has that. So we'll find out what Utah's was.
I'm sure Utah has plenty of unique things to it, but I don't know. Next one. Jennifer says, big fan and listener. since day one. I have been waiting for a place to share this story and I feel this is it.
In my twenties, I met this cute guy who was friends with my friends in a different state. We started talking and I made plans to go see him. Of course, the day I go see him, I get my period. Since I didn't want our first time to be on the red tide, I decided to tell him, but also let him know I was totally down to explore each other. I go down on him and frankly, I know I'm good.
I can suck the rust off of a bike left in the rain for years.
Incredible. Jenny. Anyway, things are really getting hot when all of a sudden he screams Yahtzee. I was so taken aback by his screaming of a random family game that I was not prepared for the most giant load being injected into my mouth. From the utter shock, I literally exorcist style, sprayed him, his bed and most of his room.
Once I regrouped, I spent most of my time trying to decipher what Yahtzee meant. Like, did he win? Did he roll the big dice? We continued to hang out, but honestly, I was so nervous about what kind of board game porn talk he would yell anytime he came. Things fizzled shortly after.
Years later, while in Target with my kids, my son asks me, mommy, can we get this for family night? It was no less than Yahtzee. Needless to say, we left empty handed.
Yeah, I know what that is. That is Yahtzee. I mean, yeah, I think he was just like,
that's how he says that he's orgasming, which is crazy. It's giving, like Michael Scott, to say, put some respect on his name. I know. But like, no, it's so corny. It's crazy.
I,
I dig Michael Scott, but I would never hook up with Michael Scott for that reason, because I would have, I would have the ick the entire time. Come on. Let's be real with ourselves. I'm in love with him. You get the ick over the tiniest things.
Like he would give you the ick.
Yeah, that's true. I think it's funny that she's like, say it, don't spray it. But she sprayed it everywhere because she like, was like so shocked by it. That's so, so funny. And honestly, sometimes I think it's a power move just to spit it right on him in different ways.
Like, I know she didn't mean to do that, but I love that. I think that's like good for you. Yeah. Take your power back. Yeah.
Anyway. Yep. Those are great. I love it.
Okay. Then let's just get into Dub Dub Dee Dee. Dub Dub Dee Dee.
Okay. Shannon says, I've been married to my husband for four years and together in total for 10.. I recently found OnlyFan charges. he was hiding on a credit card. He has since cancelled his subscription and said it won't happen again, but I still feel angry.
he hid it. What are your thoughts of men in relationships subscribing to OnlyFans? I feel it's inappropriate, but also feel I may have overreacted. I'm starting to have trust issues I've never had with him in our 10 years together.
What are your thoughts? Only because I feel like OnlyFans is one of those subscription sites where you can pay for communication and interaction, that I would feel the same way. Maybe I don't have a conversation about it. Just be like, what were like, can you tell me the things that you were interested in seeing on there? Like, what were you subscribing to?
Like, I'm not like against, like porn or anything like that. So like, I would want to know, like, what was the visual diet that you were consuming on that? Because obviously, you know, I just, I don't, I think you have a right to know.
Yeah, I'd be curious. I mean, if he watches porn too, like just goes to Pornhub. And if she has a problem with that also, because then we're talking about two different things. I mean, everyone's different. So you have to decide what your limit is.
But I don't think you're overreacting. If you're, if you're having feelings about it, even if you didn't like porn at all, that's your prerogative. Now, if that aligns with your partner, that might be a different thing. But like, I would say, it's important to have that conversation to really understand what it's about, if it's just porn or whatever. But then I also understand if it's the secrecy element of it that's bothering you, which is kind of what this reads like to me.
I get. I get that if it feels like he's trying to hide something. But like, then you'd have to ask yourself if you guys are out and open and he's like, this is why I enjoy it. Would you mind if I don't want to hide it from you? Is it okay?
if I'm doing this, then you'd also have to decide if you're okay with that.
Yeah, I think that's. what you need to figure out is if it is like the element of the secrecy or, or lies. Because I think for me, sometimes, when it comes to trust, it's always about like that betrayal of lies, and keeping me in the dark on things. Because I think I could be more accepting of something if I wasn't, if it wasn't hidden from me. That, to me, is more of a betrayal than the.
actual thing of what it is. Totally. So I think it's, you just need to have two conversations, one with him about like getting down to the bottom of it, and then one with yourself, based on that, like what about it bothers you and, and then kind of go from there. But it's not linear. And don't gaslight yourself that you're being a silly goose.
You're not. You're. it's okay to have a reaction about something. that's a sensitive topic. And I'm sure a lot of people feel that way about OnlyFans.
Yeah, exactly. But good luck. Brooke says, Hey, besties, thank you for being the friends I've always prayed for. I'm 34 and currently undergoing fertility treatment. I unfortunately miscarried my first pregnancy.
And not a lot of people know what my husband and I have been through. We started treatment last year and found out the infertility was actually a result of his sperm. But of course, the assumption is always that it's the woman's fault. I already carry so much guilt, societal pressure and frustration of not being able to get pregnant. But people's constant questions and unsolicited advice on either how to conceive or when we will conceive has become unbearable.
Besties, please, how do I grow some disrespectfully ovaries and tell everyone to fuck off and mind their own damn business? In 2024, it is mind blowing to me that anyone is still asking anyone about when they're getting married, when they're having kids like it. I mean, we did an episode about this before. We were like, you should just say something really crass and make them sit with that and think of it. But and also I do, like you, point this out.
A lot of times the fertility issues are with men, and it is just completely assumed that it's the woman that can't get pregnant. But regardless of the reason, you do not have a baby yet, it's not anyone's business. So, honestly, if you don't feel like being cheeky, I would just be straightforward and be like, you realize that that there could be sensitive issues as to why that is right. So.
it's probably not appropriate to bring up to someone. Yeah. Or, like you, do realize that if we could, we would. So it's not necessarily. I, just I don't know.
I mean, I think people sometimes, when they're asking, it's not, it's because they, you know, are excited and they really, you know, they want to know it's coming. I think it's always coming from a genuine place and also not understanding how inappropriate is and how sensitive that subject is. And I just wish people.
would get it through their thick skulls. Also, totally. If you don't want to be combative, a three second neutral is also really powerful. It's a subconscious thing in our in, in human beings. If you don't say anything, it means automatically that person signaling to their brain that they've done something wrong or that it's like a bad response.
So if someone asked me, like, when are you getting pregnant? When are you getting pregnant?
It's all you have to do is just say nothing for three seconds and then after and then in. So like when they sit there and think about it like, OK, we're going to have to. OK, maybe let me think about the words that just came out of my mouth. So, honestly, neutrality, why don't you just say something and then just change the subject?
I don't think there's anything I'm saying. I'm really not comfortable talking about it. Yes. And not like in a hostile way or defensive way, just like really in a neutral tone as well. Just not comfortable talking about it.
Yeah. Well, I'm really sorry.
that you're going through. that. I know. And I'm glad that you have your husband to support you and vice versa. And.
I don't know, you should really clown on some, some people, though.
Fuck them. Oh, yeah. Love it. OK, next. Anonymous says, do you believe in forgiving and not forgetting?
My sister and I live in different states, Tennessee and California, and used to talk on the phone almost daily, until 18 months ago when we got into a disagreement and I found out she betrayed me. Since then, I've been cordial to her. I've sent her the standard happy birthday text and a generic Christmas card, but have not had the desire to call or visit her. Now, I've been accused of not forgiving her by my entire family. I'm guessing she's telling the family that I don't speak with her often like I used to.
In my eyes, I've forgiven her, but I haven't forgotten what she has done to hurt me. The relationship has changed and will never be the same. Am I wrong here? P.S. I relate to Katie in this last VPR episode.
You're not raging mad every time you see Sandoval, but you don't want to be around him and will not treat him the same as pre-Sandoval. I don't agree with those who are saying that you need to get over and forgive him. In my opinion, you have forgiven him, but you have not forgotten the past. This is the outcome of his shitty decisions and the relationship will never be the same again. Love you both and your show.
Listen, I think sometimes like that, those are the consequences of people's behavior and actions. I forgive people for yourself, not for them. If you decide that the relationship needs to change for your own energy, your own peace, whether that's forever or just for the time being, that's how.
it needs to be. Also, I don't care if it's your sister, your cousin, your chihuahua. It's anyone in your life that you feel has brought negativity or toxicity or really hurt you. To me, it does sound like you've moved on, but that doesn't mean it's exactly consequences. to your point, Katie.
It doesn't mean that everything's just going to go back to normal, and if you don't feel like faking that. Also, I don't really like that. she's running around talking to your family about it. If they keep bringing it up to you, you are also well within your right to say, I just don't really feel comfortable talking about this. Yeah, even if it's family.
I don't speak to my dad, and there's a lot of reasons for that, but there's one pretty big one. For the last, I've talked about this before, but 11 years, I've talked to him for maybe five of them. The final reason I finally stopped talking to him last year is so blatantly obvious. He recently told someone in my life, I don't know why she won't talk to me, which is so shocking. I'm like, yeah, that just honestly confirms for me that I have made the right decision and it's just not something I can have in my life.
I have forgiven and I have moved past, but it's just not something I can have in my life. It's what's best for me. If this new type of relationship with her is what's best for you, then it's what's best for you. Maybe it will change in time, but also maybe it won't. Maybe it won't because I think.
when somebody does something that hurts somebody else, they have a hard time recognizing that behavior, modifying that behavior, apologizing for that behavior. What they do is they put themselves in a victim mentality because you are standing strong in your own boundaries and conviction and saying, I don't put up with this kind of behavior. I'm going to forgive you because I don't want to have that kind of energy in my life, but I'm also not going to have this kind of behavior in my life either. People don't understand that because they don't do that kind of shit in their own life. I think this is just serving as a constant reminder to you of why these are the type of people, regardless of who they are.
Sister, friend, it doesn't matter. I think you just have to like its integrity, so stay strong. Angela says, love you both and the pod.
How do you all get over a string of bad dates? The dating pool has been rough after my last relationship ended and I don't want to let the few bad dates change my outlook on future experiences. Any tips or tricks you can offer on staying realistically optimistic during the ups and downs of navigating online dating would be appreciated. Take a break. Take a long break.
Yeah, I haven't been on apps now for like three months and it's honestly, it's at the beginning of the episode when it was like flying over beaches, and shit is how it feels in my life at the moment. I would say it doesn't mean that you're never going to date again, but if you have consistently had bad dates and dating no longer feels fun when it should feel fun, take a break.
Hang out with your friends. Just do things that you enjoy doing on your own, with your, like. take up a hobby. Just do anything else but date. I think that, I don't know, I think it's just.
gotta like regroup. I honestly think that dating app culture, part of the problem with it is that people stay in it too long when they shouldn't. Like. they just stay on it and force themselves to go on dates when they're energetically not like feeling up for it. And then it's just going to make that cycle continue, because if you're going into something, also being like, I don't want to be doing this, blah, blah, blah, you're really leading with that, even if you're.
not saying it. So it's probably not going to go well. You need, like an energetic re-set. So taking a break from something, focusing on something else, like read a book, hang out with your friends, just be out of it for a little while, and then you can come back in being like, oh wow, like re-energized, having a new approach, having a new mindset. I think it'll just be a game changer.
Yeah, that's what I do. I don't know. I don't know when I'll decide to date again, but
I don't know. And again, it just feels like the beach every time I think about not dating.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, things are good. Things are great. I don't know. When somebody convinces me that they're worth it in a big way, that's when I will. But until then, no thanks.
Until then. Until next time. Until next time. K, love you, bye. K, love you, bye.
Babe, you're going to see the power of women, like disrespectfully.
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