Demi Lovato (FBF) [VIDEO]

It's a bop thing, like, it's giving me old Demi vibes, like, Yes, oh, I love that, you know, old Demi. Oh, my god, are you kidding me?

I are you kidding? If we repeat some of this, just pretend like it didn't happen before, cuz this is all great.

We need to stop, stop, stop. Are we ready?

Let's get started.

What is up daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call her Daddy, Demi Lovato. welcome to call her daddy. Thank you. It is such an honor to have you here and I want to say it's a big deal. You're here for many reasons.

Of call her daddy, shout out Demi's mom. Yes, my mom loves this podcast, and she was like, you have to say hi.

We are recording this. Yeah, just before your 30th birthday, yeah, Leo season. What is turning 30 mean to you?

Huh? Turning 30? What it means to me is like, to be honest, I've had a little anxiety. My 20s were like such a mess. Like I was trying to figure myself out. I didn't know who I was. A lot of shit happened. And then I kind of, like, over the past couple years have eased into who I am, and then this year I'm like, Oh, I know who I am.

I love that and I really want to normalize that because I feel like there's such pressure in society. Of like, when you hit 30, like, figure it out, and it's like, what the fuck? No? 20s are meant to do all the fuck-ups, and 30s is when it's like, let me come into my own and really figure my yes.

Thank you.

You were one of the voices of our generation. I started listening to your music in middle school, crying up against the window. Did you forget, like, fully singing all my heartbreaks? I'm like, curled up with Demi, I feel like I already know you.

Performer No, I wasn't always a natural performer, I had some like adjusting that I had to do over time. I started performing on tour with Jonas Brothers when I was 15 and so. And I went. From my first show in June of like 20, 2008, it had like a hundred people to July, my first show with the Jonas Brothers was 18,000 people.

I was just gonna say, Demi, I'm like thinking like, ooh, like, maybe like a pop song. She's like, Celine Dion, like, what's up? I'm like, Demi, you just go right. For the most iconic singer, hardest song to sing like classic.

And my mom, like, also I write. I was raised with like Aretha Franklin and vocalists like that, and then when I started learning, vocalists that were in the era of when I was growing up. It was Christina Aguilera and Kelly Clarkson. And those were the singers that I gravitated to, because they did things with their voices that I couldn't and I wanted to learn how. So I made it my mission and was like, whoever is really, really talented, I want to do what they do. And so I just sang and sang and sang my little heart out until I could hit the same notes as them. And then you eventually absolutely got there.

So for someone watching this, kind of going back to your childhood a little bit, yeah, to kind of paint the picture. You're growing up and your parents split when you were really young. Did your biological dad have any input when you began working as a kid?

No, so my biological dad, he was mentally ill and had a lot of addiction problems, and so he wasn't really in my life at all. I mean, I was the one that would reach out and call him, but like, he was really sick mentally and so over the years, I.

He was really proud and there was a lot to be proud for. Technically, your start in the business was you started in pageants, right? yes.

I started in beauty pageants when I was 7 and my first like big win was Minimus, Texas. Yeah, that was my introduction, and then from there I got an acting coach and I started doing acting in your documentary.

Simply complicated your mom, who was a former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She acknowledges her emphasis on being skinny and being perfect affected you. Yeah, how did your mom's opinion about herself affect your opinion about yourself? Well, look, my mom had an eating disorder, and.

So naturally, someone that's in their eating disorder, who isn't aware of it, can pass on things to their child. And so I put a lot of pressure on myself and in the beauty pageants to look a certain way. I mean, I'm gonna go on the record here and say like, beauty pageants are awful for children's self-esteem. And like, they teach you to ignore your emotions until you go to your hotel room and that's when you can cry it out. And it was this toxic environment of like, who's more beautiful? and things like that. And at such a young age, it confuses you. And so over the years, I developed my own eating disorder and that bled into my career as well.

You got to go up there, you got to put a smile on your face, got to make everyone else feel great. But that's not how you felt on the inside. Mm-hmm. what do you remember?

Depression Feeling like as a seven-year-old, As a seven-year-old, when my depression started to kick in, it was more of like, this fascination of death. And for some reason, I had this like understanding that life was only going to get more difficult, and so I had suicidal ideations from age of seven. So much so that, like my school called my parents and they had me sign like this contract, saying that I wouldn't do anything to myself. And so I entered therapy and guidance counseling at the school at seven years old. And you know, it's something that I still deal with occasionally, and I just think it's a part of. It's just something that I've learned to accept and manage.

When your parents got that call and you got into therapy, was there, like, regular check-ins, and because you were working also at the time, at a young age, like, was there a regimen of, like, checking in on Demi and making sure she was okay?

I was so young that I don't really remember, and I remember the. The person that actually saw the contract was my great-grandmother, because I was. I went to her house afterwards and she was like, Well, please don't do that, like, Are you okay?

What was your peer dynamic when you were in school?

My peer dynamic when I was in school was difficult. You know, I was thrown from being on Barney, where I homeschooled for like a year. Then I went back to school and I'd actually learned more when I was homeschooling to where? Like, when I went back to school, I was like, helping her show the class like this is what I've learned and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But when I went back to school, you know, there was a lot of drama.

They're just mean, that age is when, like, I personally know, like, bullying started. yeah, me like, that is the worst fucking age. Need to all goes down. What were you bullied for?

So there was this whole incident where the main week that I was bullied, I had actually gotten the opportunity. I was already performing at like, you know, Uso bases and like little car dealerships here and there that would have like festivals and whatever. I had the opportunity to open. For Jojo, the singer, and this was when Get Out Leave was like, on top of the charts. And and as a preteen, we're all like, Go Jojo, cuz she's our age, right?

You were kind of getting bullied, I think, because you were having success, right? like you were kind of starting to make it. People were jealous at that age. They're super insecure. We all know how that goes.

I leaned into my craft, but I also leaned into my eating disorder because the reasons that they gave me for bullying. Where they were like, you're a slut, you're a whore. Meanwhile, I'm 12 and I've only had my first kiss and.

Yes, which I was saying is basically, and winning an Oscar as a child, like, Are you kidding? Let's watch a Disney Channel movie. I'm like, okay.

Disney I mean, there was one golden era where it was like Raven and Hillary Duff, and then it like, moved into this other golden era where it was like. Hannah Montana had just started, like a year or so before high school, musical had just happened. Selena was on Wizards and I auditioned for the Jonas Brothers TV show. And I was up for the role of their like female best friend or whatever. And I remember I didn't get it and I was crushed, I was heartbroken. But Disney was like, But we want to see you for these other two projects.

Was their competition amongst the big actors on Disney? Even though I'm a competitive person, I really like.

Quieted that voice because I was like, it's not worth it. We all have our own talents and that's why I'm not jealous of any artist. Today is because, like, we all have our own lanes and someone has to fill my lane, you know, as like a young.

Girl watching those shows, I was always like, Demi seems like she would like I could be friends with her, eating my hair in my room.

Eating my hair literally.

The most perfect hair, by the way. We've already had this conversation.

But it is funny because you, you really gave that vibe of like, relatable and like someone that you could be friends with, it was.

The Bangs.

The camp rock bangs, it was the bangs, and you brought the bangs back today today. Okay, what pieces of your personal life did Disney have a say on once you started working with them?

Whoo so?

There were expectations on you to be a role model. Because all of a sudden you're thrust into that position, whether you want to be or not. Like you're on shows that kids are watching. You can't be seen at a party with a red cup in your hand because it looks like it could, it could be alcohol. And people online, like there was this website called Ocean Up and Ocean Up. Would just like take all scandalous things that were happening to Disney actors and put it on there. And so we lived in fear of that website. It wasn't really ever Disney saying you can't do this.

When you had that moment with your mom.

Hey, like, you don't have to, you know? I think my parents were also under the, you know, impression that someone will take your place if you don't commit to this stuff. And so I'd sit down with my management and.

Technically, at 16, you are the thing that's making all the money for all the people around you, and if you stop, it all ends.

And also at a certain point, I was paying for the roof over my whole family's head. And my dad had quit his job to become my manager, so it was his income was coming from me. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, didn't, you know, wasn't reliant on? Well, I mean, kind of was. But it was just that pressure of, like, I'm paying for everything and like, I need to keep going. Because if things start start to disappear, so does the finances.

So you reference, if I'm gonna be treated like an adult, I'm gonna party like an adult. At what point in your Disney career did you begin experimenting with drugs?

So I started experimenting for the first time when I was 12.

When you were drinking, were you drinking alone or were you going out places?

My first time drinking, I was alone, and that was, like, should have been a major red flag. I like, stole beer from my dad in the fridge, my stepdad and like, took it to my room and drank like four beers. Just to see what it was like, to feel drunk. And like, I was like, a little 90 pound, you know, girl? So that was a lot and then it started being with like friends, and it was not. It wasn't ever alone after that, but that was my first time.

When you're kind of at this age, where you start to kind of experiment, you're drinking and everything. Did, not only your parents, but, like management and publicists, did people know you were drinking and doing drugs?

When it came to management's attention that I had been doing pills, they definitely were like, this can't happen. And like, what's going on? And do we need to get you help? And I was really good at convincing people like, No, it was just like, you know, I had a hard time sleeping and blah, blah, blah. Or I'd make up excuses. And finally, when it got to a point where it was clear that I needed help and I needed to go away. Everyone was really supportive of it because it had been like, kind of a long time coming.

So thinking about the whole Disney era, I, there was a major wave of purity. Ring wearing. I can't, even I can't say it with a straight face.

It's like, Holy fuck.

Oh, no, pun intended.

No pun intended.

There was a huge wave of purity ring wearing amongst Disney stars. Oh yeah, what the fuck was that about?

So I think it was just my purity, I had a purity ring that came from my church. Like, way before Disney Channel even happened. I was like, 11 or 12 and like, obviously, that's not. That shouldn't have even been implemented on 11 or 12 year olds. But I was like, okay, like, I'll, I'll do this, whatever. That quickly went out the window at a certain point.

It really was because I remember being that age and like, I should have been apparently wearing one because I was a Catholic at the time. God, I'm getting like, burned, but I'm like, why are people wearing these things? And it was so such an interesting it almost at the time. When I look back on. It really felt like the Disney kids, like, we're getting older, and it felt like a way to, like, really cement like, No, we're really good kids and we don't do anything bad. And it's like, look at my look at my finger, like, Oh, they wear a purity ring, right?

I don't, I don't know like I had one, and I think I talked about it like once, but like. And it caught a little bit of fire. But I definitely not as much as the other people wearing them. And I quickly hushed about that when I started having sex, because I was like, I lost it.

I don't know where it went, it broke.

I think I'd like, I think it actually literally broke because it was so cheap. And then I was like, Well, this is, that's my sign.

Here we go. Have you ever sat down and discussed the challenges of being inside this Disney machine with people like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers?

I think over the years, like, we talked about it for sure. But I do have a project in the where I want to talk to some of those people about their experiences. And other child stars as well.

Kind of like we were talking about earlier. There were all these systems in place in your life, everyone you know, they're taking care of your career with you. And then, well into adulthood, your personal life was also being controlled by people that were managing your career.

Mm-hmm.

Demi, in what ways was your team controlling your life?

There was someone that came into the picture, and when they came into the picture, everything in my life was controlled. I started having a sober companion, which was helpful for me. But it should not have lasted three years.

When you just to clarify, when you're referencing this person is basically trying to keep you from eating, it's for the image to make sure you look thin. Yeah, which helps their career and their income. Can you talk a little bit about mentally why it's so hard to push away from people that get their claws in you in that position?

Yeah, absolutely. I would even go so far as to say like there was a brainwashing element to it. Where you were totally under the impression that if I don't listen to this person who knows so much about recovery, I'm going to lose everything. And so you put all of your trust and your faith into one person, and then from that, everyone around me listens to that one person and they go with it. If this person says, this is what it is and this is how it should be, then we listen to them.

Hearing you talk about this, it does sound not like a version of what Britney Spears went through.

Right?

Like the controlling and the, yeah, the micromanaging, to the point where you don't even have control over your own life.

Right?

I can't imagine how alone you felt when you said, like, they had said, if I use, then they were gone, and then I use. And in a way, it was almost like your cry for help of like, get the fuck away, right. A lot of people don't understand this side of the world.

Right, and I couldn't talk about it. I felt trapped. And you know, I don't know how many people have gone through that situation, but it is. It is really sad.

In a bustle article, you asked the question, What do I want my relationship with my manager to look like? Without enmeshing my own father issues onto him? What did you mean by that? How were your father issues affecting your relationship with your manager?

I had such interesting relationships with my dads and and the abandonment issue from my birth father was so deeply rooted inside of me. That when it came to management, like I put, I placed that fatherly figure role onto him and onto this other person that I have mentioned. And so I, when looking for a new manager, I wanted to find someone that I don't place that fatherly figure role onto. And that it's just business.

In your documentary Dancing with the Devil, you reveal your virginity was taken from you.

You were raped.

Is it possible to heal from an experience like that?

I think in a way, time can heal wounds, maybe not all of them.

I mean, I can't imagine at that young of an age, having to still have someone be on Disney and having to see someone that did that to you. I mean, you are a survivor.

Thank you. And to be clear, like it wasn't anyone in the immediate Disney circle, you know, like, I've had people ask, you know, questions of like, was it this person? or was it that person? And it was like, I don't think it'd be anybody that anyone would guess. But they were friends with someone on set and they'd come around and yeah.

So many people, especially young women, listen to my podcast that have been sexually assaulted, and it's a really. It's complicated. If you've never been through it, how do you give someone advice on that, right? And so where have you generated the strength to keep going through trauma?

I think that I've just had a lot of trauma in my life and there's a persistence, a determination inside of me. And I think I learned that from like, the bullying experience of like, you can turn this around and make it into something great. And I'm not saying that I've turned sexual assault into anything great. But, you know, I've written about it in music, I've healed from it, and it's just made me stronger.

You are so fucking strong and it is written all over your new album, Thank you. I was listening to it in my car. I feel like that's also the best place to listen to new music. When you're like, Oh, it's the best, the best, the best. You're like by yourself, you're listening, and you're just like, So.

Holy fuck, it's so fucking good.

Thank you, Demi. I need to know. How does this album reflect where you are in your life right now?

This album, it reflects this album, like, actually, there's a journey to it. So, like in the beginning of the album. You can hear my anger, you can hear like. I left treatment in December this last year, getting help again and I'm sober again and I feel great. But like, there was all these emotions that I left treatment with and I wanted to convey them in my music. And so the first few songs are like, really angry, and it's like, This is who I am. Take it or leave it?

Your songs are incredibly personal and you always give insight into your life, and I feel like that's why your fans are obsessed with you. It's because you're like, you put it all out there and that's why we love Demi Lovato. It's like, we, and I appreciate that. Because, you know, sometimes we don't get a lot from people and you're like, this is me, this is me, this is me.

I went to treatment after turning 29.

To anyone that hasn't listened to the song, you need to go listen to it. Just a couple of the lines to give them a mm-hmm. Too young to drink wine, just five years, a bleeder student and a teacher far from innocent. What the fuck is?

If you're a young girl and you think that it's sexy or fun to date older men, it's not okay unless you're of age. It's portrayed as like, Oh, you scored someone older, that's cool, and it's like, actually, that's weird. So it's just like a reflective moment of like, if you are in that situation, just listen to this song and like, kind of think about it.

How did you decide to release it as a single?

Well, it was hard. It was really hard for me to release this as a single because it's so emotional for me and so personal.

What is your favorite song on the album to have sex to?

First of all, I don't have sex to my own music.

I mean, come on, I'll have sex to your music, go for it.

Go for it. I just I feel I would feel weird about it.

If you had to, if I had to, or to people listening, which song should they fuck to?

Well, it depends if you're trying to be like, like, sensual and sensual. Listen to come together. If you're trying to like, bang it out, bang it out, you know what? If you're trying to bang it out, listen to bones.

We are not in Disneyland anymore, guys, Disney Channel is dead.

I, Yeah, I'm dating somebody, look at that grin.

Okay, we don't need like too many deets, but like, how's it going? Like, what's the vibe?

It's going really well.

It's going well, yeah.

Can I say that?

It's your life, sis, Okay, yeah, it's my life, it's my life. No more looking at your team.

It's my life. Yeah, um, it's going really well.

Yeah, okay. When you're dating someone, what is the most important thing you look for in a partner?

I have to laugh like someone I've been, you know, I've dated people that were beautiful, or, you know, sexy. And it's like, Um, I still am like that. The person I'm dating is so hot and so sexy and I am obsessed. But, like I, the most important thing is like, eventually, over time, you know, we grow old and looks fade and things like that. Like, you have to find someone that completely understands you.

I'm like, so happy for you because I can tell it's like fresh, and it's great because you are fully, fully blushing. You're like, Stop, Demi knew you? We don't fucking ask for permission. What do you want to say?

That's true, that's true. What do you want to say?

That's true.

We're not saying names here unless you want to say his name.

Okay.

You're going to go on tour, right?

Yes, so excited.

Is it hard to date while you're on tour?

I found that it's actually kind of easy if you make sure that you see each other like once every two, three weeks.

Okay, fun.

It's important to like, and it's also FaceTime like FaceTime is really helpful. And I'm sure like, it's like, I think what's going to suck is being away from the person that you're dating. But like, ultimately, it kind of builds anticipation too, for when you do see them and it's like, so exciting, you know?

So exciting, and I think it's also the test of like, if you can make it through that, like, that's a great strength building core exercise.

Rocking out because I did, you know, the pop music and kind of r&b pop, which was fun. But also at the same time, I felt like it wasn't me. Like, I was trying too hard to be sexy. And I was in the little leotards and the, you know, stiletto heels, and I wasn't comfortable. And so I want to be comfortable on the stage and I will be, and I can just completely be myself, which is going to be so exciting.

Will we be seeing like a little old Demi music vibe also on tour?

Old music? Yes, you will, definitely, because it matches the sound. And I've also, which is the most exciting. I've also turned, like my hits, into the style of music that I'm doing today. So, like, you know, cool for the summer sounds totally different, heart attack sounds totally different.

Demi Lovato, Thank you so much for coming on call, her daddy. thank you. thank you so much.