Does My Boyfriend Hate Me? [VIDEO]

And you know, I'm in the middle of my work week right now, you know, so I don't have scaries, but sometimes I forget that. You could potentially be opening your eyes and clicking on this episode to really help you get through one of the worst decisions possibly you ever made in your life. Like, I don't know. Maybe you were tits out, titties up, pulling dicks out at the bar last night. Maybe you were taking so many shots and you texted your ex. Maybe you got into a fight with your boyfriend, your best friend, who fucking knows?

And maybe you woke up with your pants off and your vibrator next to you and you're like, Who was I masturbating to last night? Regardless of what happened, I am here to tell you it is not that deep. Everything is temporary and everything can be fixed. Actually, I just thought of a story that can make you feel a little bit better about yourself. Sunday morning, Father's calling Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Every Sunday's, Father's Day.

What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? I think it was like, two weeks ago, Matt and I decided to take a bunch of our executives out to drinks. We have. Our company is growing so much, which is so exciting, and we now have all these executives that are overlooking certain aspects of our company, right? So we have head of finance, we have head of unscripted television, we have head of scripted television, we have head of film.

It's growing, it's crazy to think about. And so we were like, you know what, why don't we take the executives out and really do some company bonding? So we are out at these drinks daddy gang and everyone is excited because it's such youthful energy at our company and everyone is new and excited to intermingle. And we've all been at the offices working and so we don't get to socialize much and so everyone's kind of leaning into drinking. And I'm getting so excited. And I have one margarita with the girls and we're all chatting and we're talking, we're talking. And then I have another margarita, and then I have another margarita and I'm with Matt and he's driving. And I had a long week because at that point I had two interviews in one week and then I had a bunch of unscripted meetings, whatever.

I was just I was in back-to-back meetings, so I was like, I haven't had a fucking cocktail in a minute. Let's go. And so slowly, I have gotten very good. I will say this at like, I can now handle my alcohol. Like if I'm in a professional setting, you probably wouldn't know I'm drunk. And that is not always how I used to be like. This took years and years and years of practice, okay?

Starting drinking in high school does have its perks. Please don't start drinking in high school. The fact that I'm like, I'm not condoning that, but I'm just saying for me, for me, maybe not for you, but for me. I now look back, I'm like, thank God. I had a couple cocktails in fucking high school because it really gave me that longer runway to. Just like, fuck up so many times that. By the time that I'm now in my 20s, whenever I'm out, I realize like, I've gotten pretty good at, like, masking. That I'm drunk, right? and so no one at my company probably knows that I'm drunk. And I actually ended up asking them, like, did you guys know that? I was like, Ooh, and they were like, not a clue.

Like, I also went home and I woke up with a hangover, whatever. So I get home that night and I go on TikTok while Matt's in the shower and I am pretty fucking drunk. Okay, and I decide to. As I'm swiping, I see this beautiful young woman who is playing the guitar and she is singing a cover. I think of like a Maren Morris song, or like some country song, okay, and I am like, Oh my God, like this is beautiful, this is touching.

And I'm watching her strum her guitar. This does not have a sexual ending. I don't know why. It seems like I'm like, and then I take out my vibrator and I start masturbating to this woman. No, I start to get this idea, and I'm watching this woman strum the guitar, strum the guitar and sing, and I'm like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar?

And what if I just in moments on the show when I'm joking, singing? Like at this point, if you're OG, you can kind of tell like, I like to dabble with singing. And like, the only time I think I have a good voice, though, is when I'm like, imitating someone. Like, I don't think Alex Cooper Young Buck from Pennsylvania, has a good voice. But when someone's like, Ooh, give us a little like Shakira, I'm like, they know I'm hot tonight and my hips don't lie, and I'm starting to have, Yeah, boy, got my hips going real slow. Don't you see, baby? This is perfect. No. Or Christina Aguilera?

Oh, oh, oh yeah, like, I can I have something? Okay, you're all like, that was actually really off-tune, just believe me, okay. So I have this vision that, like, one day, like, I'm just gonna like, start a fucking singing career.

Trust me, I'm not that delusional. I know that's not gonna happen. But I thought, what if in moments where I jokingly wanna sing on the show? Or even more importantly, if I have fucking kids? One day? I'm like, what if I just learned how to play the guitar or the piano so that I could sing acoustic and I could just go for it? So I'm like, it's immediate, I need to have a conversation with someone. And since Matt's in the shower and I'm too lazy to get up so he can hear me, I turn back to my phone and I text my assistant.

And I text her, God knows what, okay, I text her. And in the morning I wake up and Matt's like, God, you were like, really on one last night? And I'm like, Wait, what? Like, what do you mean? Like, what did I do? And he's like, you don't remember, like, what you were saying? I'm like, I think like, What are you talking about?

You know, when you're like, I don't know what did, what are, what did I do? And he's like, your entire like tirade that you went on for your singing career. And he's like, I told you not to text your assistant. Okay, daddy gang, I opened my phone, I'm like, what did I text my fucking assistant? Who recently, like, just started and we're now comfortable. But like, you know, like this is my first like embarrassing thing that I did with her.

I opened my phone and I texted my assistant, maybe like 10 different singular texts being like, Hey, I really need you to write something down, so you remember to do this for me. Tomorrow, tomorrow. Can you look into someone that could come to my house and teach me how to play guitar? also? Can you get me a guitar tomorrow? And she responds, It's like 11 o'clock at night, and she's like, For sure, Alex, like, Do you want, like, an acoustic guitar?

You're looking more electric bass? I'm like, we probably should secure a fucking electric guitar, and maybe also just like a regular acoustic guitar. So I have options because I don't know where my fucking talents are going to take me. And she's like, I'm on it and I'm like, I really need this to happen.

Also, maybe we should get me singing lessons. And I keep texting her about my fucking endeavors, of what I want to be and what I want to do. And this poor girl the next morning, she always sends me like, a list of things that she's going to send me in the morning. And she's like, And I'll also.

She's like, I'll also look into getting you a guitar teacher. And did you want me to buy a piano? Or was that like, are we just going with the guitar? I'm like, Oh my fucking god, like my assistant, thinking that I'm this delusional, it's setting me back.

And I'm sure she's watching this, like, Hi, love ya. You know what else is happening in my life? Oh my god, my dentist ghosted me. Shout out if you're watching this, I still don't know what's happened to this day.

Okay, so daddy gang, two days ago I was going to the dentist. I have been putting it off because I hate going to the motherfucking dentist. Because it's worse than getting in trouble when you're young, having a grown woman. Just open my mouth and basically just talk to me for 40 minutes about how I'm not flossing enough and how my teeth are rotting off. I'm like, I just want to go home and cry. It feels like you start your New Year's resolution every time you leave the dentist. Because you're like, I will start flossing my teeth every fucking night. And it lasts well, actually, it doesn't even last for a day. Because by the time I get home and I'm supposed to floss that night, I can't. Because this motherfucker fucked my gums so hard that I'm like, I'll start it the next night.

And then I never start it, and then I never fucking floss. And then six months goes by and then my dentist yells at me again, So anyways? So I knew from my last dentist appointment that I had a potential cavity. And that's just like a looming, it's almost like an STD.

Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. I don't condone STDs, but I will say I would rather have chlamydia. I would rather have chlamydia than a cavity, because it hurts to get rid of the cavity where chlamydia is. Just like, Oh, pop a pill. It's kind of like the common cold, you know what I mean?

So anyways, I didn't have chlamydia. thank God, I am married. fuck you Matt, if you ever give me chlamydia. I had a cavity and so I was kind of putting it off. But then I, like, knew this summer that I'm gonna be having to travel a lot for work.

So I was like, why don't we just go and get this thing done? And so, finally, I schedule an hour and a half out of my day to go to the dentist. I just feel like work has just been a motherfucker lately. That like me going off the grid for an hour and a half. Like, I've got a lot of employees. I got a lot of people calling me and I'm like, Okay, I officially am doing it.

Everyone leave me alone for an hour and a half. I have to go get my shit fucking opened up and I show up to the dentist. Okay, and I'm already stressed.

I'm like, all right, let's get in, let's get out. I'm on time. I take pride in being on time, it gives me anxiety when I'm not on time, especially being talent. I feel like sometimes when like people like if I'm going to a photo shoot or anything, I'm like, if I'm not on time. I just think it sets a bad example because then people are gonna think I'm like one of those people.

That's just like a fucking piece of shit that doesn't respect other people's times. Absolutely not. We're fucking here, we're here to work. Same thing with the dentist, okay?

I know you're gonna fuck my shit up, but I'm gonna respect you and I'm gonna be here on time, thank you. So I show up and I go to open the door and I'm like, Well, what the fuck, the door isn't working? And to give you guys context, like, my dentist is not in just like its own building.

Like, I had to go up to the sixth floor and then you go into a suite, okay? So, like, I'm up the elevator. I'm in this area and I'm like, trying to get into the suite and I'm like, I can't get into the fucking suite. And so I do the natural thing you would do, and I just start knocking on the door. But for context, my dentist is like a big dentist, where there's like a big lobby and there's people walking around like, I can't even get in the door.

And I hear people behind the door, so I'm like, knock, knock, knock, bitch, Cavity bitch is here. let's fill this motherfucker. No one is answering.

I stand outside of this door for 15 minutes, on and off, like knocking on the door. And then I'm feeling so awkward because these people that are going into different suites are walking by me. Like, why is this fucking bitch? Like stalking outside of here? And like, literally knocking on the door? And I just keep knocking and I keep knocking. And then finally, I call my assistant and I'm like, Hey, like, I don't have the number to this place.

Do you mind calling them? I'm knocking? You call? Let's infiltrate from both sides. Like, Can you help a girl out? And she's like, I got you, I got you, so she calls me, and she's like, Alex, I just called the front desk.

They're there and they were like, Can we put you on hold? and I was like, No, there's someone outside of the door. can you go open the door? They put her on hold and then they hang up.

Now this is where I will just give you a little insight into having a podcast. All like. It's almost like clockwork when someone, like, doesn't like, shuns me a little bit, or it's like, not treating me right. I immediately start going through my brain and racking my brain with like, did I podcast about them? did I podcast about them? Because I'm not kidding you?

I've had times where I've showed up places and I'm like, Fuck my shit, I've definitely podcasted about this person and they probably fucking hate me. And so I'm like, Have I ever talked shit on my goddamn dentist? I mean, we've gotta be low in motherfucking content if I'm talking shit on my dentist, but here I am talking shit on my dentist. No, no, I love my dentist.

But so you guys, I stand outside for 20 minutes, knock, knock, knock, pausing, knock, knock, knock. I try to rattle the door open. No one answers me, and I hear people inside and they're just not letting into my fucking dentist. So I eventually decide, Hey, it's now been 25 minutes.

I gotta get back to work, so I just leave, and so I currently sit here before you as a father. With. Still a cavity that has not been filled, and I'm about to have to go on many different trips for work that I guess I will just have a cavity that is slowly building and building, and building. Ooh, also, let's talk about this.

I don't know any people that are homeowners here, but something I realized that's not fun about being a homeowner is hosting. I am the type of host that, like, fend for your fucking self. Obviously, I'm gonna put out some fucking plates with sandwiches and shit, but I feel like when you're a host, the coziness of hosting. And I've talked about this before, is that I can run back upstairs if I need to take a shit, or, ooh, if it gets chilly outside. I have my closet upstairs and no one else has their closet upstairs. But I feel like Matt is such a great host that he really takes pride, which is not a bad thing. I'm just a lazy piece of shit and I need to get better at it.

But something I realized was I was worried, I'm like, is it just Matt? And he's just a great hoster for parties? So the other week, on Father's Day, we went to Matt's brother's house and our whole family was there. And they were hosting this barbecue and we finally sat down to have Father's Day meal and they'd cook this beautiful meal. And there's music playing and everyone is eating.

And I look up, and I look at Matt's brother and my sister-in-law, and I realize that. The two of them are huddled over the stove that they were cooking these sausages and burgers on, and they are eating on the side panels of the fucking stove. Outside of the grill, the grill, the stove, the stove, the grill. it's a grill. it's a grill. you're a grill. I'm a stove, they were. the grill is outside.

Is that also whatever the fuck? The grill is outside and there's those two panels on the sides of it that you can put like your fucking spatula. And they're both huddled over eating their fucking food. And I turn and I'm like, Oh my god, hosting is miserable. Wait, like. And I literally said to them, I'm like you.

Guys sit down, there's two open seats and they couldn't sit down because they were hosting, because they were busy. They're making sure everyone had everything that they needed. But I think what I'm realizing is hosting is almost like weddings. Stay with me here. Okay, I think that when we're hosting, unless you just have assholes at your fucking house. When you're hosting, you want to make sure that everyone is having an amazing time.

But the honest truth is like, unless someone is so high maintenance, I feel like the fact is no one actually fucking needs the host to. Really, where's the ketchup? I'll walk and use my legs to go to the kitchen and figure out where the ketchup is. But the hosts obviously are doing an amazing thing, like, I love how I'm shitting on hosts.

Hosts are doing a great thing. The problem is I wish I could tell all the hosts around the world, including myself, like, Relax, actually, not myself. I am too relaxed when people are coming over.

I want to tell Matt, Relax. Look like we didn't even need them to be doing all that, but they were doing it. It's like when you have a wedding and you think that everyone is thinking about all these details, no one gives a fuck when they're at your wedding. As long as there's good cocktails, and I say, good cocktails, as long as there is alcohol. Okay, I would actually say my biggest piece of advice at a wedding is always make sure there is more than one bar. there's more than one bar.

That's all I would say. Okay, other than that, you're good. You could have your wedding in your backyard, have two bars, even if there's 20 fucking people there. Okay, because as long as people have their drinks, they don't even give a fuck about the food. Also, who expects good food at a fucking wedding, right?

As long as there's alcohol flowing, people are happy. And so I guess what I'm trying to get at is like, Yeah, I don't know, Daddy gang right into me. But if you have any tips for me in hosting? I just feel like, sometimes I'm like, I don't feel like I'm being an asshole, I actually feel like I'm almost like. Enabling our guests to use their have autonomy over their own experience. Like, I'm assuming you can figure out where the ketchup is, you know? Like, if you want ketchup on your fucking rice and we don't have ketchup out, I bet they know where it is.

What the fuck was the point of that? Oh, yeah, I hate hosting, but I'm getting better and I feel like I need to bring Matt a little bit more on my side of the hosting game. To be like, Babe, you can relax and we don't need to. Who's calling me?

Hi my love, I'm in the middle of recording. Can I call you back? I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Okay? okay, love you bye.

It's like, Matt has, like that little sixth sense, you know, you know when exes always know when you've moved on and they text you. It's like, Matt knows when I'm recording and he fucking calls me all the time. He low-key wants to be the next co-host of Call Her Daddy. He is interested in the slot, you guys.

He will never fucking come on the show, I think that's kind of it. Should we do some questions? Let's do a little question.

Now, if you are, you know someone that uses technology, you know daddy gang, that the iPad.

Can just flip upside down and even if it's upside down, the document will be upright, so don't worry. I think people thought like, I was just like making these questions up maybe? and like, not actually reading. Oh, I've got your questions right here, you little shits.

Okay, first question. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, but he has never officially posted me on social media. He rarely uses social media and hasn't posted on IG in about five years. Sometimes I get frustrated because I don't see the issue with posting to me. But he says he doesn't want his life on the internet. He takes me around to all of his friends and family.

So it's not like, I'm a secret, but am I wrong for being frustrated about this? I feel like this is like a very common topic that no matter how many times you talk about it like, it, always needs to be talked about. Because social media is so prevalent in our lives, right? And so to say, like, oh, who cares? Like? I don't wanna discredit your feelings because my first point, I would say, is like, you shouldn't feel rejected or upset. Or like, he's hiding you. Because at the end of the day, he's basically acknowledging like he doesn't post.

If he was posting constantly and he was saying he doesn't want his life on the internet, then that's a contradiction, right? Then you could be like, but you post, you just don't want your relationship on the internet. But that just feels kind of like you're being deceitful. Because I'm a part of your life, and if you're posting your life, then why aren't you posting a big part of your life, which is me? I remember when I met Matt and I felt like something that was so attractive about him was his lack of social media presence. And Matt is a pretty private person. And he was like, totally fine with what I do for a living, but he was just like, let's just like, always communicate. If you're gonna like, talk about me on the show, or if we're gonna be like posting anything about me, like, just run it by me.

And now that we're married, he's like, I don't fucking care, let hell break loose. But in the beginning, it, like, meant a lot to me. That, like, he does not post on social media, Matt does not have a social media presence, but he has an Instagram.

And I worry for you that this is not something that, like. I think what I've learned in therapy is. If something is upsetting you, it's usually not just the one thing, it is based off of other things, right? So, like, you're saying, he brings you around to his friends and family a lot, okay, so maybe you could potentially be reading in too much to online social media couples, right, like?

Maybe a lot of your friends post their partners and so maybe you're comparing yourself. But like, I feel like sometimes with social media, it's like, what is your barometer of? Like, what would make you happy, right? And like, why would it make you super happy? To post him, to post you like, is it because you're worried about women thinking he's single?

Is it because you feel like you want the world to know that you're dating? Cause it's like a pride thing, like, and I'm not judging you for any of these. I think that's like, totally understandable, but I think you have to get to the root of why you want him to post you so badly.

A lot of times when we feel like we need to post on social media, it's cause we want to prove something. And I still struggle with that every single fucking day. I'm like, ooh, like I was doing something so interesting, but no one knows I did that, like, should I post to that? And it's like, I think that we need to get better. Daddy gang of. Just like trying to not be so set in stone that. The only way to validate our life and our experiences is to get validation online.

And if you are happy in your romantic relationship, if he is treating you right, if you guys have this great relationship. And the only thing is, he just doesn't post you on social media, but he doesn't post regardless. I think you could say to him maybe like, Hey, because you're public, and like, because I've posted you like, do you mind just throwing up one picture? Because like, I don't know. I almost like, worry, like, will people think that? like? But then again, there's your answer, like, will people think so? Is it? You're worried that people think that? Like, he's not proud of your relationship?

You know what I mean? And I think that you could almost bring this up to him. Listen, I don't have the answer, cause there's obviously gonna be a lot of things that come with your questioning of him. But like, my advice is always, if you can, bring this up in a really like, mature way and just be like, Hey, I know that I've come to you before and I've said that I'm upset that you don't post me on social media. And honestly, I can assume like that came off just like, kind of, just like immature and off-putting of, like, why do I care?

And I think when I get underneath it, I feel like, because I've posted you and then people naturally go to your page, there is just this annoying like.

Societal agreement that everyone kind of knows. Like, if he doesn't post you, but you're posting him, it looks like you're desperate, it looks like you're more obsessed with him. Like, there is that, and that is no matter what, we can spin it whatever way of. Don't live your life on social media.

Like, a lot of the things that we do and how we're affected come from social media of like, our friend group and our family and everything. So I wanna validate you in like, as much as I wish I could tell you, like, fuck it. It's okay that he doesn't post you on social media. That may be true, and that may be actually genuinely true to him.

He may genuinely be such a good person and love you so much, and he genuinely may really, really want that privacy and not give a fuck about social media. But it also could be true that you can feel your friends and family. And like everyone, kind of judging and like wondering, like, are things you know good at home? Or like, whatever it is like, I get that.

And so I think, if you can have an open, honest conversation with him. Just about like how it makes you feel, and almost how like. It's embarrassing, like, I hate that I'm even having to talk about this. But like, it does affect our life. And like, could you just put one picture up, just one picture, and I never will ask you it again? But just so, when people go to your page, they know you're in a relationship, that's it.

I think that's a fair ask. And if he's that that private about his life, then I would say, okay, then would you then delete your Instagram? You know what I mean, like, now I'm getting toxic? I'm like, if you won't post me, then you obviously have to delete your fucking Instagram.

Because what are the other options? But I don't know. I think it's a really tough topic and I feel like each relationship.

You probably deal with this like, I think sometimes when like people are like, get over it, like it doesn't matter, like, well, it does matter. Because whether we like it or not, social media does have some form of like social and like currency in our life. Like we see things, we are judging people, we are keeping up with people, we're learning about people.

And as much as we hate it if you decide to be on it like, you are somewhat playing into this game of like this voyeuristic experience. And so there may be people, yes, judging you, and then you also just have to recognize. If he says, no, what is that gonna do to you? Because he may still say, like, I can have an Instagram.

I like to follow my friends, I just don't wanna post my life. You could then maybe ask him like, if he would feel free to like, then archive all of his photos. Like, if he's that private and he can't post you, then why are things from his past still up? You know what I mean?

I feel like I just did a whole fucking episode on that. Jesus Christ. Sorry, okay, hey daddy. I have been seeing this guy for about six months now, everything has been going great.

He treats me well, takes me on dates and even took me on a weekend vacation. Suddenly, he told me that he's not ready for a committed relationship and needs some space to work on himself before he can commit to me. 100. He also told me that if I find someone else during our time apart, not to let him be the reason I don't pursue it. Now. As far as I know, we were exclusive and he wasn't hooking up with anyone else. But this is really throwing me off. Is he being genuine or is he just an asshole? That strung me along for six months?

Yeah, he's over it, it's over. That's fucking shit. I'm so sorry.

Here's the thing. There's something in this that makes me know exactly when it ended and how. It's definitely over, and that is that, he said. If you find someone else while you're giving me space, don't let that hold you back from moving on. Yeah, he's basically actually like saying, please move on.

And that is fucking awful, and you know, what just sucks is like, I just wish people would have the fucking balls. To be more direct, like, be a man and man up and say, Listen, I know we've been talking for six months. I think you're great and I really have had an amazing time with you. But I don't wanna waste either of our time.

And if I'm being honest with you, I've been reflecting lately and I just don't think this is the right relationship for me. And you did nothing wrong, or maybe if you did something wrong, he can tell you. But like, it's just something that, like, I have been thinking about lately. And I'm really sorry, but I don't wanna waste your time. You're such an amazing person and I'm really sorry if this is hurtful. But like, I think it's time to end things like. As harsh as it can be to hear those words that someone is like, Yeah, I'm not vibing with you.

It's more annoying to have to a Rubik's cube the shit and be like, Hold on, does a equal B? Is he being serious? Like, or he's telling me that he wants a break, but like, is he gonna come back? And I like him? Like, that's so shit, and that's so shit that you have to be the person that is like trying to figure out how he feels.

Why can't he just fucking tell you? And that just annoys me because I've been in that situation before where it's like, just be fucking honest. I'm a grown woman, I can handle it. And I think it would just be easier if people are more direct, but it's like people get so freaked out. The problem is is he either has just been whatever in his life has led him to be someone that. It's like, skirting around, beating around the bush, skirting around the bush. Oh, skrt, skrt, beating around the bush, beating around the bush.

If he's someone that beats around the bush a lot in his life, maybe he is someone that, like whatever happened in his childhood, or maybe a past relationship. A girl wouldn't give up. So he had to, like, let her down easy. Because she sobbed, and she screamed, and she kicked, and she cried, and she wouldn't end the relationship. I don't know what it is, but all I can say is I'm really sorry he's done with the relationship. And I also want you to think about this. I would never want to be with someone.

That basically says, I need a break from you, I'm not feeling this. Please move on, and if you find someone while we're taking a break, that's totally fine. That is literally saying, I don't like you. I really don't give a fuck about this relationship, but I'm trying to be really fucking nice.

So this doesn't have to be on me to break up with you. It's cowardly and it's a fucking loser energy, but a lot of men do it. So if I can just give you your answer, it's over. But that's okay. And I hope that I can save you a couple months of going on dates and thinking, Yeah, but maybe he'll come back, he's not coming back.

And if he does come back, it's out of boredom or being like, Oh, I'll just go so we can hook up a little bit more. I just fucking hate when people can't be direct, and honestly, maybe it comes with age now. In hindsight, if I look back on myself, I'm being a hypocrite. Because I feel like I did this to a guy in college that I was seeing and I was just very inconsistent with him.

And I wanted him when I wanted him, and I didn't when I didn't. And there would just be weekends where I would see him with another girl and he would be flirting with her. And I had kind of dumped him lightly and then I would be like, Oh, I want him back.

And then the next thing, a good thing came around. I was like, Ooh, goodbye. And I just toyed with his emotions. And I didn't think it was healthy or nice, and I regret that. And being in college, I do think that's where you can get that kind of energy out.

But it just seems like this guy is actually being like, he's actually being quite straightforward, in the most non straightforward way. So, yeah, my advice to you is move on and go for someone that knows they want you, and go for someone that respects you enough. To be honest and have a conversation with you. Rather than just like, skirt around the bush and kind of leave you, like, wondering, because what the fuck?

You, your mom and your boyfriend are on a relationship. Let's fucking go. This is gonna be a good story time, No? My dad cheated on my mom and they got a divorce three years ago.

It was super messy and he just can't seem to stop talking shit about her. Even after I've told him it's hard for me to respect him when he continuously disrespects her. He basically told me to go fuck myself when I asked for this boundary. It hurts and it's toxic having him in my family, but I always feel guilty when cutting him out.

What do I do? I am so fucking sorry. That is like, that's really awful. I fucking love when people are like the people in the wrong, like, so your dad cheated and he's now talking shit on your mom.

Make it make sense, make it make sense. It's literally like when someone cheats, they somehow like, get to turn it back on the other person. It's like, hold on, hold on. How are we fighting?

Like, about me doing something like, you're the one that went outside the relationship, you're the one that betrayed the trust, you're the one that cheated.

How the fuck is this on me? I think that it's just so tough with parents because I get what you're saying. Like, this is not just like a friend that's being disrespectful. That you can be like, Okay, I'm like, removing myself from this situation and I'm not gonna hang out with you anymore. Like, this is your dad and that's really fucking tough and I'm really sorry.

The next few times that you do hang out with him and you've tried to set this boundary and he's clearly. I'm sorry. But your dad's kind of being a fucking asshole, being like talking shit on your mom and then basically telling you to go fuck yourself. When you're trying to set these boundaries, like, Okay, bro, like, you just wanna fucking live in your own fantasy world? And be a little fucking narcissistic piece of shit and own nothing and act like your behavior didn't affect all of us. Like, sorry for calling your, I'm not calling your dad a narcissistic piece of shit, maybe I am. No, I'm not.

No, I'm just saying, like, what you're writing? His behavior is like, douchebaggery times, a million. My advice to you would be, next time you're with him because you're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. In these moments. Instead of saying, please stop, I would, wherever you are, stand up as he starts to talk shit on your mom and remove yourself from the room. So maybe you're sitting at a dinner and he starts going off, Dad, I've talked to you about this.

I'm not interested in talking shit about mom, I'm gonna remove myself from this. And you get up and you walk away, you're in the kitchen at his house and he's fucking talking shit on your mom. Get up, go get in your fucking car and leave. I mean, God forbid, maybe you're in the fucking car together, right?

Open the car door and just fling yourself out, fucking fling yourself onto the highway, really make a statement, bitch, I'm just kidding. Please, for the love of God, be safe.

But do you know what I mean, like, I think, to physically remove yourself? In those moments? People like that, like, want a reaction, they want a rise. And he's probably this is what I, unless he is actually like a narcissistic psycho. When people make really bad decisions and fuck up and like cheating and stuff, they're looking for a way to make themselves feel better. And so by talking shit on your mom and consistently talking shit on your mom. It probably is making him feel like, yeah, like, fuck her, that's why I cheated.

And he's almost trying to validate and give a reason as to why he made this awful decision. And so when you sit there and you listen to it, it gets him off. Like it gives him this reprieve that he needs in order to feel better about himself. And not like a piece of shit. And so I feel like the best thing to do, the best thing to do. In a lot of situations I've learned later in life, it's like, literally just walk away.

After you have tried to set a boundary and someone does not respect the boundary, walk away. And eventually, you continuously walking away from him. And every single time you're talking and he does it, you walk away, you walk away. Eventually, you're gonna walk away for good. And if he can't get the hint, I worry for you, that is really detrimental to your mental health.

Because as we learn in therapy and on the show, and just in life. Like everything that's happening with your parents has an impact on the way that you view romantic relationships moving forward. And so my fear for you is as much as this is hurtful. If it ever does become normalized. And you ever kind of just roll over and be like, Fine, I'll just let him bitch and I'll get through the dinner. Eventually, you're gonna become very, very familiarized, and it's gonna become normal almost when a man is talking like that. And so I worry for you, for your future relationships, like, how is that gonna impact you? When you're finding a partner and they're speaking to you that way? You then have these tendencies that you're building, that you don't even realize you're building that. It's like, just sit there, just take it, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's not worth fighting over.

And that is where it gets scary. It's like our parents can fuck us up as much as we want. Actually, it's not as much as we want, as much as they fucking want. And that's on them. And that's what they have to live with. We don't have to live with that.

We have to live with it temporarily, until we're actually able to recognize it's affecting us and seeping into our lives. Because it's our life, it's not their life, it's our life. And then it's on you to right the wrongs of your parents for yourself, not for fucking them. Let them fucking have the shame and the guilt of all the ways they fucked you up, and of course, there are some parents that can't help the way they fucked you up.

But if this is like an abusive situation, or it's manipulation, or it's narcissism, or it's whatever it is that has essentially plagued your life. You then can relinquish yourself of that trauma and of those awful tendencies, but you need to recognize them. And it seems like you're obviously recognizing this awful tendency of your father to be shit-talking your mom. And now that you've tried to establish boundaries and he's clearly telling you, I don't give a fuck about your boundaries. My worry for you is when someone is like that, it's kind of like they have tunnel vision and they're never going to be able to see the other person's side. He clearly has no interest in how this is affecting you as his daughter.

And that makes me so sad for you, and I'm so sorry. Because that must be really disorienting for you. And a reality shift of growing up and your parents have a relationship and then your dad cheats and this whole thing is spiraling. And all of the things that you had built your relationship off of with your father have now sort of crumbled. And he's now becoming this person that you don't like. Unfortunately, it's not our job to fix people. And he's clearly going through a very dark time in his life. And I respect you for feeling guilty to not be able to engage with your father.

You're like, I don't want to cut him out of my life. No one wants to cut a parent out of their life, even when it is abusive, even when it's manipulative. But in some capacity, sometimes it's the best thing not only that you can do for yourself, but that you can also do for them. Because in some capacity, the more. And I know it's weird with a parent dynamic, but the more that we continue to engage in that type of behavior, we're just enabling them. The more you sit there and listen to it and I get it, you're like, Well, he won't listen to my boundaries, so what do I do?

You leave and I know it's really hard, but he's basically saying, he's not gonna stop. So the only factor that you can have any impact on is yourself. So family relationships are really fucking tough, and no family is perfect, and I feel like it's important to remember that daddy gang.

It's hard and I guess all I can say is. The more you are kind to yourself, I know it sounds so stupid, but the more you're kind to yourself and recognizing no thing is too little. If something made you feel shit, if something made you feel a certain way, that affected you, let's unpack it. And that's why I know I've been such an advocate for therapy. And I think sometimes when you talk about therapy, it can kind of just be like, I don't know. People roll their eyes, they're like, Yeah, I know. How much can that help?

And I'll be honest with you guys, recently I went to every other week with my therapist. I was feeling like I have nothing to talk about anymore, I felt like I don't know, I feel like I'm. It's not even that I have nothing to talk about, I have so much to talk about.

But I was kind of feeling like every week was just getting like, ooh, like, I kind of want every other week. I'll have more to discuss at that point. And I just got on with my therapist this past week and I was like, I had so much to discuss. And then I was like, Can we meet next week too? And she was like, Of course, Alex, but it's like, it's never ending.

It's never ending and you just have to be, you have to be strong, and you have to be strong within yourself. And that's exhausting when there's so many other things going on that take precedent. Like you wanting to find a boyfriend, or you wanting to find a partner, or you wanting to get a new job, and you wanting to, like, have a social life. And it's hard to find time for ourselves because I feel like it seems like weird and selfish.

And also like, it's so like it feels intangible, almost to like, invest in yourself and invest in time, like it's like, no. Just like, go to the pilates class or drink the green juice, or go to the gym, or do whatever the fuck. And it's like talking, speaking about your experience and speaking about your feelings. It opens up so much. And when you have someone there that's just there who is licensed to help you. It allows you to like genuinely. You start to say things you never even thought of.

Like, I'm telling you if you've never been in therapy, daddy Gang, like I have been in so many therapy, I had a therapy session today. It's probably why I'm so emotional. And we were talking about something and I had this like revelation, and I was like, Oh my God, like I never thought about it like that.

Like, whoa? And my therapist was just kind of silent, and I like, I came to that revelation on my own and she was just in silent. Like listening to me. And I was like, Wow, had I not had my therapy session this week, I wouldn't have had an hour. To be selfish and talk about myself and talk about my feelings. And I feel like, especially as no, I was gonna say, especially as women, no, also men, we all have it different.

But like, we are not trained to be selfish, and we're trained like, how did you make them feel? and that's important, but how do you feel? how does it make you feel? And so, even if it's not therapy, even if you're not at a place right now where you're ready to engage in therapy. Maybe you start journaling, maybe you start, I don't know. Like going on more, just like walks, or like just time where you can, like, really be selfish with your time to connect with yourself. Because life is too fucking crazy in our 20s and 30s and 40s, and it's like, you don't have a second.

We don't have a second. You're in college, you're too busy to fucking focus on your own shit because you're partying, you're raging, you're having fun, you get out of college. Okay, I'm ready to focus on my shit. No, you need a fucking job, bitch, where are you gonna live?

Oh, you lost all your friends because you moved to a different city. Great, go make new friends. go do this. Oh, you're lonely, you're sitting in your bed by yourself. Great, go make new friends.

Oh, you're not financially stable now? Great, go get a second job. Oh my God, by the time that's happening, you find your partner, thank God. okay, now you're getting married, now, you're having kids.

There's never a right time for any of it, there's never a right time for any of it. I listened to my friends, sometimes we were talking and we were like, there's not even. There is no right time to have kids, there is no right time to switch jobs or to move.

Like, it's all gonna come crashing and it's all gonna be on how you handle it. So, whew, this got deep real quick. But I hope you guys took something from this week's episode and I hope this wasn't too heavy. On a Sunday, maybe you're cleaning your apartment and this was a I don't know. Maybe this sparked a couple things in your brain for food for thought.

But I know sometimes I come on this podcast and I try to be positive, obviously, which is so fun and fun, and it's funny to tell stories. But I also think it's nice to have like a little bit of a balance. Because I don't know. Maybe you think like, my life is great and perfect, and it's not. And I think it's important to acknowledge. Like, I have my family, shit, Matt, and I argue, my sex life is not always perfect, my business life is so fucking stressful.

My friendships I have to work on, like everything that you guys are going through, I'm also experiencing these things. So if there's ever, like a topic you guys want me to talk about, I'm here. I'm always game and I love you guys. And just know like, I think what is very incredible about having this podcast is like, I love that. I'm able to like, talk and hopefully connect a lot of us. To make us feel less alone because it's fucking lonely out there.

But it's nice to know that we're all kind of going through the same fucking shit. So I love you and take care of yourselves this Sunday. I took a bath the other night, which is very not like me, but I don't have a spray tan currently. So I was like, Oh my god, a bath sounds delicious.

And well, it was actually Matt's idea. I was saying that my neck was hurting, I have like chronic neck pain from sitting at my desk and editing. And Matt was like, Why don't I make you a bath? And he was so cute.

He turned the lights all off and he lit a bunch of candles around the bath and I put on like a light, calming, like meditation. And I just laid in the bath for like 30 fucking minutes and I turned into a prune. And I will say, I think it helps my stress level and I feel like half the time.

I'm like, Oh, I'm too busy for a bath, or I just wanna get into bed, and I'm like, No. I am going to try to take more baths. I'm gonna be a fucking bath whale. Okay, I'm gonna get myself some bath bombs. I'll probably do it like once a month, but just note to self take more baths.

Daddy Gang, I love you. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. I will see you Fuckers on Wednesday. Goodbye.

Wonders, sweet wonders ♪.