Jenn Tran: You're Not Crazy...He's an Ass [VIDEO]

Jen Tran, welcome to Call Her Daddy.

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.

I'm so excited. you're here. We have to give the Daddy Gang context of what we've been doing. So I'm upstairs, I'm prepping for the interview. I hear that Jen is here.

Listen, you know, I knew this was going to be a fun time and you were going to shoot the shit and just have fun. What's the point of doing it without a little bit of tequila?

No, I'm so happy. Also, to give context, this is why my job is the best. I'm like, it is one o'clock on a Friday. And usually on a Friday, I'm like, ooh, maybe you can start drinking at like four o'clock with Jen. It's like, it is one o'clock, we are drinking tequila.

Thank you.

You are about to be this season's Bachelorette.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

You are about to be this season's Bachelorette. The show is about to come out. How are you feeling?

I'm honestly really excited for everyone to just see it. Like, I feel like this whole chapter in my life like happened and I haven't seen anything about it yet. So it's like, did it really happen or not? But like, obviously it did. So I'm really excited for everyone to see it.

Well, speaking of opinions, what are you talking about? Like from your perspective, what are you talking about? Like? there's a lot of opinions on the season.

Yeah. I mean, there's no like running around it. Like I came back from filming and there was a lot of people wanting somebody else or wishing that I was American. So there's, there's a lot of racism around it too. And there's just a lot of people who want to have input on it and wish that it was somebody else and whatnot.

Okay. Can we talk about that for a minute? Cause I, I agree. I feel like people have always like, there's no secret that, like, if you look up the lineup of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, like it is a lot of white people that have, like, historically been like the leads. And I'm so fucking happy.

In a weird way, it makes me feel validated that there needs to be change, right? Because I lived my whole life having, you know, some people telling me racism doesn't exist. Like Asians don't have to deal with it. Like you're the better minority. Nobody cares.

First of all, I thank you for saying that, because I think, like, it's not your job to like be a spokesperson for it, but now that you're in this position, like I can imagine, so many young girls are like, let's fucking go, Jen. Yes. Representation. I also feel like I said to you before we started, I'm like, you came in here and your energy and your vibe is like, I feel like we could be friends and you smell amazing. I just have to say that.

It's Caroline Herrera. I was, it's funny, because I was in my hotel room and I was like, I need to find a perfume. And my producer was like, you're literally going to a podcast, like no one's going to smell you through the camera. But I was like, I don't care. I need to smell good at all times.

No, it's affecting me and I'm like, ooh, this is fabulous. A little tequila, a little Caroline Herrera. Perfect.

So I'm seducing you too. It's perfect. It's great.

It's perfect. I'm getting in the vibes. I'm getting in the mood. I need to know where you were and how you felt when you got the call of The Bachelorette. Like, take me to that moment.

Yeah. It was crazy. I mean, like. things have been in the works for like months at that point and I, just like, didn't know what was going to happen. And you know, the clock was ticking down, so I was like, maybe it's just not me.

It's just so crazy because you're right. And I think that's what people forget. It's like, we've now watched The Bachelor for so many seasons. We love The Bachelor franchise, but like, this does completely change your life. And, like, before all of this, you're a physician's assistant, I'm watching, a student, I'm watching your TikToks.

Yeah. So obviously I didn't have my phone at the time. All of this was going down because we had went right into filming after it was all announced. and coming back to all of that. Yeah, obviously I was really disappointed to see all of that, because I mean, the truth of the matter is like, there's a lot of narratives out there and they're not necessarily the truth.

Interesting.

So that's why I was a little disappointed is because, you know, the narratives out there aren't exactly the truth. And I think that when you look at it all, like the show has been going on for so long and you know, look, based on the history of it all, like there's always multiple people. So it's not you until it's you.

Oh, my God. Okay. Wait, I didn't even think about that. You, before all of these things were happening, you were in the middle of filming. Yeah.

No, I hadn't seen it until I had gotten back. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Okay. So you had, it wasn't like a last minute thing. people are asking you.

No, no, no, no. I had, we had meetings about it. We talked about it for a month and then they asked me and I had the choice and I chose to do it. I said, yes. And the thing with like, the narrative that's out right now, is like, it was disappointing to come back from this incredible journey for myself.

I appreciate you sharing this, because I can imagine from your perspective when you come out. Yeah. I think a lot of people were like, oh, like Jen's a runner up and Jen's just doing this. And like now, hearing from you, you're like, we know, like all of us were in talks and all of us were making these decisions and everyone was kind of up for it. I'm sure there was like three to four people that were in conversation.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, everything, everything's good. You know, that's the thing about being in this world and being mature and, and being and having like, you know, just like just knowing what world you're in and, and being a person and being mature about it all. is that like, we're all fine and it's all good.

Okay. Let's talk about your life before reality TV. Where did you grow up?

I grew up in New Jersey.

Jersey girl.

Yes.

I was PA girl, but I went to school in Jersey for high school. Oh really?

Where?

In like Princeton area.

Oh, okay.

Okay. So Jersey.

Yes. North Jersey. And then I went to school at Pittsburgh for like a year and a half. Okay. Then I transferred to Wisconsin.

Go Badgers.

I know. And then, after Wisconsin, I'd moved to Boston for a couple of years, and that's kind of where my family, like, resides right now.

What were you like in high school?

In high school? Um, honestly it was really shy. Okay. I was really still kind of like coming into my own and like I played sports, I played basketball, I played lacrosse. So like that's kind of where I was like more outgoing or like more.

I relate to that and I, every time I meet people that are like, no, like high school was a breeze or like middle school was a breeze. I'm like, oh, well, fuck you. Yeah. Like what do you mean?

What do you mean by that?

Yeah. Like now, I'm like, so grateful for, like not feeling that way. But back in the day, it's like when you struggle with that, it's like it can, like, affect you, obviously socially.

But the thing is, it builds character. Like. I'm so happy that I had an awkward phase, that I was like a little weird or like whatever it was, because I think it makes you more grateful for like who you are now, and I'm grateful for like figuring myself out so much more now.

I agree. Did making friends come easy to you in high school?

Um, yes and no. Like, because I played club sports, like it was easy to like, be friends with them and kind of stuff. But I think, like internally, like I was having such a like, who am I? Like? how do I be cool?

I'm curious, like, did ever having, like you're saying, like you kind of had this like push and pull of, like, oh my gosh, like I want to lean into my culture. But then also the kids around you are not like that. Like, did it ever make you pull away more for your, from your family or lean more into your family?

I definitely pulled away a lot when I was growing up, because it was just, I wanted to be like everybody else. Right? Like when you're at that age and you're growing up and you just want to fit in, you want to be like everybody else. But it wasn't really until college where I got really exposed to a lot more diversity. And I also got tired of kind of like hiding who I am, you know, like college is like that new, like sense of like you, like you get a chance to, like rewrite yourself almost.

It's hard, though, when you're in those moments, to like have perspective.

Exactly.

How are you with boys? Like high school, college, like what was the vibe, Jen?

You know, I had a lot of issues, like because I had an awkward phase in middle school and then high school, like I kind of started, was still awkward, but like started growing into my own a little, a little bit. And then towards the end of high school, I'd say I really wanted to explore and then I got into college and I really, um, really wanted to explore as well and I was a little boy crazy and I ended up in a lot of bad situations that maybe I shouldn't have been in.

Tell me everything. I love how you're like, I wanted to explore, like such a, like a graceful way of saying like I had my phase, I went for it. I did. Okay, what do you mean? you went down paths that maybe you shouldn't have?

I just, I think I really use my body for a lot of whatever, you know, and I think that I wasn't really fully respecting myself in those times. Um, and at one point, like, I just didn't know how relationships worked, right? Like I, my parents are divorced and I never really had a good role model of love. So, like, going into college with that perspective, it didn't really help. And I was entering relationships that, like, were really bad for me.

The tunnel, aka he's like inside his girlfriend tonight and he has to turn this off. Yeah, the tunnel is his girlfriend.

Jen! It was crazy.

No, but it's so relatable. Like I have an episode that is either coming out or will have come out that I'm talking about. Like, when you are in the early stages of dating and you were insecure when you were younger, which I was, you can kind of find yourself almost not even like evaluating your boundaries. Like you don't have boundaries. You're just so happy someone's giving you attention.

Oh, they did. I have so many friends that did that.

It wouldn't even matter if they told you. It's the tunnel.

Yeah. Yeah. You're like, no, no, no. He told me he loved me yesterday. So like it's fine.

And I appreciate you because, obviously, like my main demographic is women. I appreciate you saying like, I didn't like fully respect my body at the time. I think that's like, sadly, a very relatable thing, because I think we still live in a man's world and if you're like going for these relationships, you want men to like you and you want the them to see you and you want to like, you want the attention and the validation and you can't give it to yourself yet because, like you, being you so far, you've just gotten like no success or you're like feeling bad about yourself. So when a guy starts to give you attention, you're like, me, like me, and then, if they start to act out, you're like, oh, that doesn't matter. Me.

Yes. And then you're like, what more can I do to like? keep this attention going? And then you drive yourself insane. Okay.

How long did that last? Tunnel boy. Tunnel boy.

Probably like four, six months. Six months.

You said four years. No. God, no.

God, no. Six months. But see, and then at the time I, like, there was a turning point in that where, when I realized I was like, oh, he's like insane. Like he was actually like a sociopath and would like lie to me, like crazy and like would never like own up to it. And then there was a turning point where I was like, okay, wait, now I'm going to play the game.

I'm obsessed that you just casually like, because I could never go to his, because he.

has a girlfriend. Oh my gosh.

No, but you know what's crazy is like. that seems to be the most beautiful turn of events, when you are just like under someone's thumb and you're just getting played and played and played. And then I don't know what it is. Like the sunrise is a little different that morning, or like, your phone looks a little different. Everything looks a little different.

Wait a second. Mother fucker. Wait a fucking second.

Like it's over for you. I've now, because it's like the repetitiveness of the cycle of them treating you like shit just one day. You're like, what if I? just, what if I just tilted it a little bit this way? And all of a sudden you're now like in a little bit more of a position of power.

They're like, wait, a second. Wait. She knows what's going on.

She's standing up for herself. Wait a second. She has self-respect. What is happening?

That's not the girl that I wanted.

Okay. So you have, like, you, went through it in college. Oh, for sure.

I just had so many crazy relationships. And then, even after college, I think I was still finding myself or I was, I was growing more confident into who I am, but not growing confident in like what I wanted in a relationship and knowing what I wanted in that.

Wait, what kind of guys were you going for in college? Did you have a type?

I mean, at the time, the guy that had a girlfriend was like somebody that I worked with in the restaurant. He was like kind of my boss. So, like I had, like a boss thing. I have like a power complex. I don't, I don't know.

A boss thing? Yeah.

Like it was weird. But he wasn't that much older. Like he was like a year or two older. Wait.

So, after he's like ignoring you in the tunnel, would you go to work together?

The next day. And he'd act like everything was fine and he's like, oh baby, I'm so sorry. Like, let me take you out tonight. Like I was batshit crazy. I was like, I believed him because we worked together.

We also, that like makes such a weird dynamic too, because you also have to like somewhat respect your boss. So naturally you're like, even if you wanted to be mad at him, you're taking orders from this man, which then becomes kind of hot again. That's the hot part of it.

And then the cycle repeats itself. Yes. Now you're getting it. You're like, you've never had sex with your boss?

I was just like, God, let me think back. Like I was tempted. Oh my God. Okay. Jen, this is like great information.

But that era is closed, right? No, it's closed. It's closed. I had to learn a little bit and it was crazy, but yeah.

And I hope you know, I love these stories too, because I obviously know what we're about to watch on The Bachelorette. It's like, I'm hoping, I know you're not wearing a ring, but like we're obviously hoping you're engaged, if that was what was meant to be. But I just was talking about a situation I had in college where I had this guy that just kept it moving and, like every day, it was a different thing and I was just trying to hold on for dear life. and I'm married. And I talk about it, though, because when you look back at those things, you have such different perspective and it almost is like you feel, yes, somewhat bad for yourself, but not anymore.

Been there, been there. We've been there.

We've been there in the trenches.

The only person that can pull yourself out of it is you, and you just got to like, work through it and work through your insecurities and find your self-respect. And yeah, I mean, I had so many friends trying to pull me out of it and I just didn't listen. I just was like, well, what do you mean? Like he likes me.

They're like, he has a girlfriend.

You're like, yeah, but he likes me. What do you mean? No. No.

Okay. You've, I know you mentioned on your season of The Bachelor and you've mentioned today, and I'm not ignoring you. I just, I wanted to get to that place of like. lightly talk about dating, but, like your parents, dynamic. Yeah.

I would say, like what I saw between my parents like wasn't a true partnership. So what I kind of learned from that over the years is that marriage is a partnership and it's not one person doing everything. It's not one person calling the shots. It's not one person like succumbing to the other's power. It's really like a true partnership, and you know, that's really what I want is to have a partner in it all and to have somebody really be on the same page as me and want the same things as me.

Do you mind giving a little context of like what happened when you were younger with your parents dynamic?

Yeah. Yeah. So I think, you know, my parents just started fighting at a really young age. And my mom was the type, like. I think she grew up in kind of like a different culture in Vietnam where, like the women like, they cook, they clean, they do everything, you know, for their husbands.

That can like. I mean, thank you for sharing that. Yeah. First of all, I think that can really, really, just like, shape the way in so many ways that you become resilient. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

And that's tough.

Yeah. And I think that's why, like for the longest time, I pushed off, like my past, growing up, and my past with my dad, because I was like. it doesn't affect me in my everyday life, because I've forgotten about it, but it does play a role in my relationships and who I am, right? Like. it takes me a lot to have to ask somebody for help, because I've grown up so independently.

Right. That's so interesting. Like the – that's – I love talking about that on my show. Yeah. Like the effects of like whatever happened to all of us in our childhoods, like how do we start to lightly see that play out?

So much. I mean I went through so many bad relationships and picked so many bad guys, because what I think is I was – so like I've gone through a lot of therapy, but like, obviously, like still need – like I still think, like it's good to go through therapy and to talk about these things, and I'm learning so much more every day about like what my path means to me now. But what I think is that I'm so addicted to someone who doesn't give me everything, because I've been so used to working for things in my life. Working for love and affection, working for success that, like I, like guys who don't give me everything all at once, because I've been so used to like – to that environment, and I've also been really used to like this fight or flight, like feeling since, like growing up, because like the way that I grew up. So there was a lot of aggression there and it was just like I had to deal with all the fighting and then I'd go to school and like forget about it or try to and whatever.

Oh, girl, you're in therapy. I'm like, oh, you just like, literally spit out exactly what you're – oh, you're like. at that point where you're like, oh, let me just tell you exactly my self-diagnosis, but really it's from your therapist. You're like, let me tell you what I've learned. No, it's fascinating.

Like how are we signing up?

How did we get there? Yeah. And like. did you have any like social media presence prior to that?

Yeah. So I did. So I did. So, funny enough, like I don't want to give credit to my ex, the toxic ex, but like we were in that toxic relationship and then I got out of it and I was at a place in my life where I was in PA school and I just needed an outlet and I was like. I've always been just like creative and like have liked vlogging.

We would have been friends. Okay, then we would have been friends.

So then I took to TikTok and I started talking about, like my PA, school stuff and my everyday life, because I knew there was a market for it and nobody really knows what a PA does. So I was like this is great. I can talk about my PA, school life and have this creative outlet that I wanted aside from school. and then somebody came across my TikTok and DMed me and was like I'm a casting producer for The Bachelor. Like I really like your TikToks.

I think it was like spam. I was like what's going on?

I was just kind of like, just like, no way, and I. but I was like. this is intriguing. Like I would maybe do an interview and see where it goes, but like I'm in school. I would never actually do this, nor would my school actually ever let me do this.

Hold on. That's literally the headline. I know. Jen almost dies prior to Bachelor. She made it.

Literally was insane. I was on a boat with my friends and, like this boat was coming right at us, didn't see us and I was sitting in the exact place where the boat would have decapitated me and thank God I was paying attention because I jumped to the other side of the boat so quickly and we got into a crash like whatever, but, like everybody was fine after that, like, thank God. This is in Miami? This was in the Keys. Yeah, yeah.

You're like. I almost died, almost got decapitated, then I realized like fuck it, let's go on the Bachelor. Let's just do it. I'm obsessed. Yeah.

Yeah.

And you get there. and were you like even comprehending what was about to happen in your life?

God. no. God. no. I had no idea and I don't think I really understood, because I was so like I'm here for love like it really is, just like a weird way to find love, but it's what I wanted, so I wasn't comprehending everything that would come after that.

I'm going to play a little game with you. Okay. Because now that you are the Bachelorette, I am so curious, like when we're giving out roses and when we're not giving out roses. Okay so, first of all, let's take a sip of our drink. We have a drinking drink.

We've just been crazy talking.

I'm watching, but I swear there's tequila in this.

There's definitely tequila in this.

It's just the seltzer. Cheers. Okay. Oh, it's actually not bad. We could have used ice, but my ice machine is broken.

That's okay.

Literally, I go to get you ice and you're like oh, we have no ice in my studio.

I can't believe this establishment is so nice.

Literally, what is this establishment? Floridadi is going downhill. Okay, I'm going to give you a scenario and you're going to tell me if this person would get a rose from you. Oh. Are you ready?

Okay. Okay.

He has a girl best friend.

That's tough. That's tough. You see, it depends. how long has he been best friends with her. Is this recent?

And how do you ask a guy that?

I think I would just ask.

You would just say what?

I'm the kind of person that would just ask.

Okay, pretend I'm him. My name is Kyle.

Kyle, have you tried to sleep with her before?

You're just being that direct.

Or have you fucked her before actually? Oh, perfect. That's the question.

We're just going right in it. Yeah. And if he's like no, no, no. We've just been like friends for a long time. We met through this and like we're just friends.

Okay. Interesting. Okay. I would maybe give you a rose. I think I'd give you a rose for the meantime.

I agree. Here's the thing. Is it fucked up to say like I would consider myself a pretty confident person. But I obviously get jealous.

Right.

I agree with you. If my partner had a girl best friend, that was like clearly his type.

Yeah.

I'd be like. Or, if she's like. Yeah. Is that fucked up? to be like if she's really hot and you're like.

Exactly.

Right.

Are you going to dinner? just the two of you? Why are you doing that?

Well, that's the thing too. Here's the thing.

I'm also like, pretty, like secure myself at this point too. And I think that it would really depend on like. Like. if we just started meeting. Like, if we just met and you have a girl, best friend.

I agree. I feel like there's a lot of different like ways you can look at. If your boyfriend has a girl best friend or your fiance or your husband. I think there's like a lot of questions you do need to ask. Because it's like.

I agree. I agree. And it's funny. Because back in the day. I'd be like.

Thank you. Because, like love all my men in my life. I've won. But I'm my husband. But love men that have been in my life.

Right. You just met her out. And now she's your best friend.

Red flag. Yeah.

Huge red flag. Okay.

He is outdoorsy. And his ideal vacation is camping.

Like glamping. maybe perhaps. No glamping. Jen. Camping.

We're seeing the bears. We're putting up the tent. You know what?

I could do it. I could do it. I am a nature gal. Okay. I do prefer to glamp than camp.

I'm obsessively glamping. I had Wiz Khalifa on like months ago. And I was like what about? like camping? And he's like.

You want a little glamp. Me and Wiz could go glamping together.

Okay, okay. Would you consider yourself high maintenance?

No, I don't. But there are things I'm picky about for sure.

Okay, like? Um, I don't know.

Curling my hair. Like I want to make sure my hair is curled all the time. Like I don't like having straight hair.

We can't do that in the woods.

That's why I would never. I would need to go glamping with an RV and the plasma tv and Wiz and then an outlet for my hair curler. Exactly.

All these things have to perfectly align so that you would go to the woods. And specifically Wiz Khalifa has to be there.

Yeah, specifically yes.

Okay, he's a mama's boy.

Oh, gosh. Like how bad of a mama's boy? He's calling her for everything every second, every day. Yep. You're not getting a rose from me.

Yeah, it gets a little like it gets a little sus when it's like. why do you keep calling mommy? And like? I've had guys that like, call mommy after our sex. And I'm like I just don't know.

Like immediately after.

Yeah, pretty much like a blank bag.

He pumped and dumped and then he was like hi mom.

That's what I knew. I was like. I think I'm like really missing something here. Like something feels off and like I don't want to be a part of this. Okay, how quickly do you introduce someone you're seeing to your family?

I usually don't. Like. I've never introduced anyone to my family before. Because my family can be very judgmental. Okay.

I'm assuming. obviously you had to introduce people in this season to your family. Were you proud of your family?

Well, I'm so proud of my family. I'm so proud of them. They were exactly themselves.

They were not shy.

No, they were not shy.

They spoke their feelings.

No filters. So yeah, it was a good time.

Were you anxious at all at one point being like can you guys stop?

Yeah.

I think that's fair.

I think that's fair too. Yeah, I mean they are not afraid to speak their mind. Yeah. And I mean, why would they be, you know? Yeah.

I always thought um, oh my god, if I ever went on a show like that, like, how would my parents handle being on TV? Like, how was your family on TV? Like? were they anxious? Were they asking you pointers?

Like. well, so, like my brother, not shy at all. He was himself like whatever. My mom, oh, my poor little mother. She was like actually the first when I called her and I was like hey, I'm The Bachelorette.

I remember I started crying. That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing that your mom is like trying to show up for you in this way and then you, being so sweet back, being like mom, be yourself like it's okay.

Yeah, it was. oh, it was such a such a sad moment, like because I didn't know that she'd been practicing and I was like pressuring her to just be herself, and I was like oh god, I didn't know. But I mean it all was fine, but she was very nervous, like she is not the type of person that wants to be on camera like ever.

Okay, I think that's like better. Can I be like honest, like yeah, it kind of freaks me out. when the parents are like you can tell, like the mom's, like looking in the camera, like you're looking for real housewives to pick you right up, like they're like looking a little too prim and proper. I'm like hold on you, like they like practice their lines together. I think it's more genuine if the parent is like I'm just here to support my daughter and my son and like oh wait, did she end up ever speaking Vietnamese?

She did yeah, yeah, at one point. well, at one point I kept telling her speak Vietnamese and she tried to, and then she, like, forgot it and started speaking English, and I've never seen this woman forget Vietnamese in her life. I was like what is going on? She's nervous. She was so nervous, but she eventually, like the nerves, calmed down and she was fine.

Was she so proud of you?

She was. yeah, she really was. We're so proud of you.

Oh, thank you. Okay, his ideal weekend is going to the club and partying.

You're not gonna roast me. At this age. we're too old for that.

Okay, so you're not down for the parties over the weekend?

I am sometimes, but the fact that I live in Miami it's like when I first moved there, I was doing it every weekend and I was like this is not a sustainable lifestyle, especially in school. so I had to really limit myself. and now I really only like go out when, like friends are visiting, like people are down there and like they want to have a good time, I'll go and celebrate and whatever, or like it's a birthday, but to do it every weekend. I cannot do that. No, no, no, I'm too old.

Okay, if he was on this season and he was often in the middle of drama, is he getting a rose?

Drama can go a lot of different ways. So it's like why are you in the middle of the drama? Like, do you start it? Are people just jealous of you? or what is it?

Did you feel like you had to suss out and were you good at it? Like? obviously there's always drama, but were you good? There's always in a season like someone is either being misrepresented by the group, like did you find yourself being good at sussing out like if they were being honest or if they were being a little shit?

Yes, absolutely. I think I very much have like a gut feeling that I trust, and there were definitely certain men that I trusted more than others. Was there drama? Yes. And did I have to suss things out for myself?

Well, now that we know you dealt with Tunnel Boy like literally like I'm coming in here like do not fuck with me. I know a little piece of shit when I see one. Okay, we're out of the game. Now I'm just gonna ask you about Bachelorette. We're moving on.

25.

Try to articulate that.

I didn't remember all their names on night one. How could you? I'm not gonna lie about that.

Like I really didn't. Right.

Um, it was strangely like the first night. it was strangely easy for me to like flirt, because I'm a natural flirt. so I found it easy to kind of get along with everybody. Okay. And then, as time went on, like, it was very easy for me to like be in the moment with each and every single one of them.

No, no, no. Actually, what's weird is you said that I actually kind of agree is like the hardest part of dating. the 25 men is probably remembering all their names. Yeah. And then I think, probably when you're down to like seven.

It definitely got harder as time went on. Like it was easy to compartmentalize at first because there were so many of them and, like in the beginning, the feelings weren't as strong. But towards the end, like yeah, it was a little bit more difficult when it got down to like whatever amount there was, because the feelings were so much stronger.

Okay. Yeah. You have to tell me when you're in the first rose ceremony. do you have an earpiece in? Like?

Okay. Well, I'm going to let you in on this.

Okay. You can be like. can I have a minute? Yes. And then you can go back to the room and they're like this is Jimmy R and this is Jimmy T, and Jimmy T has the blonde hair done and you're like, got it.

Well, it's more like. I know I'm giving this one a rose, just like give me like the first letter and like.

Okay. I will maybe be like beep, beep, beep.

No earpiece, though. No earpiece? No earpiece. It's more of like um um hey.

Are they?

Wait, hold on.

Hold on.

There's all these. no, no one can care about this. on ABC, if we're like, how does it work? How can you actually do they yell like?

No, I kind of leave the stand for a second. This makes me feel better. And I go. please tell me, tell me which one this is, because I forget.

Can you, can I say thank you? Because every time I watch I'm literally sweating. not, if you're gonna pick, I'm sweating because I'm like yeah, how are they gonna remember like, who is that guy in the corner? I don't even know his face. Okay, okay, so they're helpful.

Otherwise I was gonna be like guy one vibe two, like mustache guy like hot one kind of hot one, like Jesus looking. otherwise it was gonna be like that. so.

Okay, have any of your exes reached out to you since The Bachelor or this season of The Bachelorette?

Um since The Bachelor. yeah, yeah, yeah, um.

Saying what?

So oh gosh, I'm really putting this on blaster.

Kind of fun, though.

Yeah, so there was one ex-boyfriend, who there's two. so there's this one guy that I dated like three years ago in Boston when I first moved there, and we dated for like two months, very briefly, like, and then we were really good friends after the fact. um, and so we've been in touch, like here and there. I've gone on family vacations with him before, like, we're just like very we're friends, though you know what I mean? Okay.

Yeah, but I get that it's like revisiting something from the past. it feels familiar and it can feel like, oh, like, why not? just like go to a wedding and like a free trip to Columbia.

I was like yeah, I'm single, I can do whatever I want.

But then also, knowing like in your heart, like he's just you see him as a friend. Yeah. You're like. yeah, I'm gonna go and like, see if I can date and find the person that I'm in love with. Absolutely.

The other one was the toxic act, where we were in a relationship for a year and he reached out and sent me this whole long letter about like everything that he did wrong, and I remember, like for the longest time. that's all I wanted from him. right was like an apology, and when I was reading it I was like getting pissed off. I was like this is fucked up, like I don't even I don't want the letter, because it made me angry at the way he treated me and that it took him this long to apologize. and I was kind of like what the fuck was this for?

No, Jen, I'm obsessed because I think a lot of people it's kind of like once you lose something. sometimes people understandably like, recognize the worth when they like, see them with someone new and then you're like fuck. did I fuck up? Like, should I have left that person? I feel like for you.

Right now, like after everything all this has happened and you've seen it all on TV. now you want to reach out. yeah. Okay, that's kind of fucking baller.

What is the most valuable lesson that you learned about yourself throughout this whole process?

That it's okay to have a voice. in fact it's better to have a voice. For the longest time I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't feel comfortable in like expressing what I need and what I want, and throughout this whole journey I was able to really find my voice and like really be myself and let these guys know like who I am and what I want. and I wasn't just coasting by anymore, because in the past I've always just been like afraid to like talk about certain things or afraid to stand up for myself, because I thought that it would make someone love me less or look at me differently.

I really appreciate you saying that, because I understand like reality TV has its perks and its downfalls. but I will say I think something that The Bachelor has always done very incredibly is, like you guys are having like really intense conversations, that there is no distractions, there is no like. I know on some shows there's like drinking and partying and like nights out. like this is like a very insular environment where you're having to be like let's talk about the real shit and like let's get to the crux of like who you are who I am, and I think that's amazing that you're like I'm. it's almost breeding an environment where you're like I have to be vulnerable.

to open up to. Yeah, exactly. it's such a concentrated environment that it's impossible to not be vulnerable, and I agree. it's like in some instances, like if you were vulnerable and the guy didn't handle it the right way. it's like okay, well then, you're not my person right.

it starts to get down to the wire. it's like when you have like eight guys left, let's say six guys left. how are you? because, like, you have a timeline. yeah, like, you can't, just like, be like dilly-dallying and like until you you kind of have.

over this one. if you were like ever torn. I think at the end of the day it really went down to like. could I see a life with this person? so if they had said something in the past, that like really was a red flag for me.

are going to be shocked by the ending. or is this like a like? people are going to be like okay, we like, saw this coming. this is good. or is it like any like?

you engaged. well, because I don't think that I really saw the way it ended like. I don't think I saw the ending, the way it was supposed to end, like for a while. you know what I mean like. I don't think I saw.

I've been waiting for this. how much do you like in your brain, like allow that to affect your decision like for you? everyone's different, I know, like some people were like oh my god, if you slept with everyone, then I'll kill you and I can't be with you. or some people. like intimacy is a big part.

I would be lying if I didn't say it was a concern like. obviously I'm thinking in the back of my head like how is this gonna affect each individual relationship? right, but at the end of the day I needed to do what was right for the individual relationship. like I couldn't think about the other guys that were there, because that would be doing a disservice to myself. and at the end of the day I thought to myself like anyone who didn't understand the position that I was in and had a problem with that.

care about that kind of stuff. I'm obsessed with. you're like before you take your shirt off. yeah, you just let me know who you voted for in the last election. just really quickly.

because these are the things you need to know before you like potentially commit the rest of.

your life with somebody. no, it's a great point. it's like you guys are having all like the emotional and like romantic conversations. but now let's get down to like if we leave here, right? how's this?

gonna go? are you gonna move to where I move? are you? uh, do you? are you open to practicing the religion that I want to practice, like all these little things that, like that, matter hugely?

do you have like in your head, like you know? who's gonna be that villain? that was just a little piece.

oh yeah, please, I called it out from day one. do you think you know who could like potentially be the next bachelor? I think I do. wow, I think I do. I don't know what I'm supposed to say, but I think I do.

last question what do you want people to know about you before tuning into this season, I think.

I want people to know that I'm a very dynamic person and that you can't judge me based off, based off of one line that I say or one scene that you see, or one interview that I had, because I have a lot of different layers to me, like any other human being here, and I think oftentimes people are are like quick to judge on the internet because they see one thing, one snippet, one whatever, and I think that I have a lot of different layers to me. and also for the season, I think that, um, there's a lot of growth there and so, um, I definitely went on like a little self journey.

yeah, Jen, I'm so excited for you. I'm so happy I got to sit down with you. you are, you were amazing, obviously on The Bachelor, but like getting to be with you for an hour plus, like you're a lovely person and I'm so happy, no matter what the outcome, I can tell you're happy if whatever we're about to watch on this season, like I know I will be tuning in. I'm very excited for you and, like it, just made me even want to watch more now, like getting to know you and also like knowing about your past and all these little shits. it's like goodbye, Jen's about to find her man.

you'll have to text me. I can't wait to hear it all. thank you, thank you, thank you.

you.