#2182 - Michael Malice

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Stream by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day!

Okay, I have to announce, because Netflix is making me announce this, that I have a Netflix special that's live, Saturday night, from San Antonio. Oh. So it's going to be live, all over the world.

I'm going to see you tomorrow.

Oh yay! Oh yeah, we're coming.

Yeah, yeah, it's going to be a lot of fun. I've seen your set, it's really funny.

It's tight now. Good. It's like, I'm very happy with it.

How long has it been since you dropped a special?

Six years.

Wait, dude, seriously?

Yeah, I was ready to do one in August of 2020 when the shit went down. So when the shit went down with the COVID stuff, I was preparing, so that was like March, right? I was preparing to do one in August. And then I didn't do stand-up for like eight months. And then we started doing stand-up out here again, and then I started changing a lot of bits and moving stuff around, and I'm like, I'm going to do one right now.

I was there opening night.

Yeah.

And I was there with my protege, Trey. We're in the green room, and I'm very much like, okay, this isn't your house. Like, be respectful of the space, you know, because I'm not a comic. Tim Dillon's there, who I'm pals with. Ron White, oh, my God, Ron White.

She didn't know you?

Of course she didn't know me. You know, she's a boomer. Right? So I'm sitting there. And the thing is, look, you hang out with, like, part of your act.

She's off the rails.

But the whole time I'm like, holy shit, Roseanne is yelling at me.

One of my favorite videos from the store. You can find it on my Instagram, Jamie, of Roseanne dancing. She's smoking a cigarette and dancing while the Get It Together Bitch sign is illuminated in the background. It's such a fucking great video.

I've been hanging out with her, and it's like one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me.

Oh, she's such a character.

Yeah, because the thing is, if I make her laugh, it's like the show. But if I don't make her laugh and she yells at me, well, Roseanne's yelling at me, which is also a win.

She believes some crazy stuff, but she's open to be, like, informed. Yes. We tell her that this is actually what's going on. She doesn't, like, dig her heels in. I try to explain to her contrails.

Yeah. It was more than that, don't you think?

It might have been a week.

How long did they shut the air for? It was a while.

So what happened was the Earth's temperature actually increased. The temperature in the United States increased by a measurable amount. So it's very small, but it's measurable. And it's because there's no clouds. So those clouds that those planes create by flying overhead all the time, those things are consistently blocking out the sun to the point where it actually changes the temperature of the Earth.

Two days.

Two days, yeah. So when they imposed new, I don't know who, it was, NATO, whoever it was, imposed new environmental restrictions on these giant cargo ships. Once they did that, they found that the surface temperature of the ocean actually increased. Because they weren't blowing pollution over the ocean, so much so that it creates a foggy haze that actually measurably blocks the amount of sunlight that goes through it. So, ironically, in trying to cool the ocean by decreasing our carbon footprint, they actually increased the surface temperature of the ocean.

That also gets to the whole thing about how it's not necessarily a bad thing if temperature increases, because there's more life at the equator than at the poles. And it's not necessarily bad if you're going to get things slightly warmer, and maybe it's the speed that's the issue, but they never even take that into consideration. As long as there's any change, it can only be for the worse.

Well, it's also a business. This is where we have to be really careful with this stuff. because I'm very environmentally conscious. I love wilderness and earth and the ocean. I love all these things.

Wait, hold on. What do you mean by big fish? Do you mean like whale sharks?

No, no, no. Like tuna. Fish that we eat. All the swordfish. All these different fish that we commercially capture.

And it's not a lot of these...

90 percent. Wow. 90 percent of larger fish in the ocean are gone. We take through overfishing, unsustainable overfishing. So the real fear is that if we keep going like this for another 100 years, there's nothing left.

Well, the other issue is bycatch, where you're killing a lot of things that you didn't really want to have captured. And also you have, if you have, you remove the predators, then the prey explode in population, like with deer. And then everyone's front lawn. And that's a whole cascade effect there. That 90 percent number seems...

Well, fish markets. Right. So if you talk to anybody who's a sushi chef that's ever been to the famous fish markets in Tokyo, they're so amazing that I was only in Tokyo for two days. I had just flown in. We did the weigh-ins.

I was just there. Like, I came here to yell at you. Oh, really? No, I'm not even kidding. No, no, no.

I've been to Japan. Unfortunately, I was there very briefly.

But that's not going to Japan.

Yeah. It was beautiful, though. I loved it. I loved the audience. The audience at the fights were so respectful, and they were so knowledgeable.

I was really angry at all the misconceptions that I was taught about Japan and Japanese people. Like, I thought that everyone would be like a robot. They were great sense of humor, very friendly. And the thing that they have there that we don't have here is, like, everyone really takes pride in what they do. And, like, you, see it in just regular stores and things like that, restaurants.

Do you know who Sakuraba is?

Isn't he a fighter?

Yes, legendary fighter who used to smoke cigarettes and drink constantly, and he beat everybody. He was, like, one of the greatest of all time. He's an incredible, incredible fighter and mostly fought people way bigger than him, way bigger than him. He fought a lot of absolute killers. And he is, like, one of the funniest guys, like, in all of combat sports.

Yeah, I went to Numazu, which is this little port town. And it looked like something out of Lovecraft, because it's clearly, like, declining. So you go down the main street all the way to the ocean and everything's – or the sea, rather. Everything is closed, all boarded up, because that's the world's only deep sea aquarium. And I'm not into that very much.

How do they do it? How does a deep sea aquarium work? How deep does the water get?

Well, the thing is the fish, I guess they're caught by catch, because the issue is the pressure, right? You bring them up, their eyes explode, their stomachs explode. I don't know how they had the things that they had in those tanks. Like, the tanks are not pressurized. It's not possible.

So do the fish adapt, do you think?

Maybe these are fish that – but no, some of the batfish are, like, don't – some fish vertically migrate, right?

Have you ever been to the one that's in the Mandalay Bay in Vegas?

No, I don't think I have.

It's fucking incredible.

But it's not like this. This is the only one. This is the only one on Earth.

The one in Mandalay Bay is sharks. Holy shit, look at that thing.

That's a coelacanth.

Yeah, that's the one that they thought was extinct.

Right, for what, 65 million years. So it's just an amazing, amazing place. And the thing is, right around the corner – God, how cool is that? It was so cool.

What a cool fish that is. That is an old-ass fish. That fish is from, like, the beginning of life.

And they've got lobed fins. There's only two fish that still have lobed fins. What does that mean? You can see how there's, like, an –.

Oh, like a – it has bones that stick out.

Yeah, the fin doesn't attach directly to the body. There's, like, a lobe. Oh, I see. So them and lungfish are the only ones who have that anymore.

The coelacanth, I think it has bones in there because, like, you know, there's a lot of these animals. One of the weirdest ones is, like, there was an animal that became a whale, and it was a land animal. You know about that one?

Of course. It was like a hippo kind of thing.

Yeah, weird, fucking looking thing. And that thing became a whale.

Yeah, well, whales are carnivores.

I know, which is nuts, right? But they kind of are. They're sweet about it. They only eat the little bitch-ass creatures.

Not the sperm whales.

What do they eat?

Giant squid.

Oh, that's right.

And they shoot sonic waves and, like, boil the water.

What?

Yeah, sperm whales –

Sonic waves and they boil the water? Really?

Like, a sperm whale, can kill you by just vibrating. Like, there was a diver who was with him, and they can fuck you up really bad. Wow. Yeah.

No shit.

Oh, yeah. Because they're, like, what, 80 feet? They're huge. Their entire, like, bulbous nose, is to have this – yeah, there you go.

Whoa. Acoustic prey debilitation hypothesis, or the Big Bang Theory. The theory states that sperm whales can produce ultrasonic noises that are too high in frequency for humans to hear, and that these sounds can create shock waves that can injure prey. However, some studies have not found evidence to support this theory.

There was a diver. –

Can you show more, so we can find out?

There was a diver who had it happen. Like, this was part of Blue Planet or one of those BBC shows.

Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense.

Yeah.

I mean, especially when you look at the size of their mouth and the noises they make.

Sperm whales can reach up to 200 –.

How cool is that?

I have a sperm whale tooth for my shaving brush.

And how wild is that? That fucking thing breathes air. And that thing used to be on land, and it's like, meh, I'm gonna go hang out here and change everything.

There's that meme about the fish went to the land, then you evolved to go back to the sea, but you're not as good as you were before because you don't have gills, then you become a penguin, it's a whole – you can't do either. It's a whole thing. No, but it's –. so the thing I want to talk about, Numazu, there was this little sushi place that I spent 15 minutes looking up this place because I wanted to give the guy a shout-out, called Irichi, I-R-I-I-C-H-I. It's in Japanese and Google Maps.

You saw Jiro Dreams' sushi, right?

Well, I put in my phone, I like you better than Jiro. And he lost it.

Well, Jiro's probably, like, the guy now where all the other, like, sort of incognito sushi places that are legendary, they're like, hey, what the fuck?

I think, Jiro – the thing, Jiro, seems like it wouldn't be fun. It feels like you're taking a test.

In what way? Because he's so serious about it?

Because he's so serious, yeah.

Yeah, I know what you're saying. So this guy was more fun.

Yeah, and the thing I found is a lot of these high-end places, you should know this better than I do, they're not all stuffy. A lot of times, they know how to have a good time. Oh, yeah.

Do you know Wagyu Mafia?

Where's that now?

Okay, Wagyu Mafia is a Tokyo establishment, and they did a pop-in in Austin at Pasta Bar. So Pasta Bar, do you know Philip Franklin Lee? He's the guy that owned sushi. He started here with sushi bar, and then he branched out into his own thing, which is sushi by scratch. And he also does this other thing in town called Pasta Bar.

Yeah, everyone's having a good time.

Oh, my God, it was so fun. It was so silly. Yeah. Yeah, everything was silly. They feed you sometimes, and it's like they blow gold dust all over the air.

But Jiro's not with Japan. I thought Japan was going to be like Jiro, and it wasn't.

Dude's making swords.

Like. if I don't like the food, he just stabs himself in the stomach.

No, but dude's fucking hammering out swords. That's what I think about. I think about the craftsmanship and the seriousness.

But the economics of the place, I don't understand. Because they have these big office buildings like in Herald Square in New York. And it'll be like 13 floors. And each floor has like six rooms. They can take an elevator.

Is it on purpose or is it neglect that no one steps in to correct?

If you're arresting someone 30 times and putting them back on the street, like that's on purpose.

Right, but that's the officer that's doing that. The police department and the prosecutor and the district attorney. But then there's the politicians that are like in control of these areas, and then there's a tone that these areas have, that's being controlled by the district attorney, by how they prosecute things. And all this is all very, very political. So that part of the part, that's the part that looks like you guys want it to be like that.

Yes, very easily.

That's the dumbest part of the argument. And it's not a lot of the resources for it. But we have all these resources for all these other things.

And it's a small percent of people. causing all the problems. Like a Pareto effect was like 20% of people, caused 80% of the problems. It's not like everyone in New York is a criminal.

No, no, it's a lot of career criminals in New York. A lot of people that do the break-ins in the cars and stuff like that, they get arrested all the time.

What was that guy, Jordan Neely, who, like tried to kidnap a girl, he punched an old lady in the face for no reason, broke her orbital socket, the one who was killed on the subway by that good Samaritan. It's like you punch an old lady in the face and break her orbital socket for no reason. once. That's a wrap.

Yeah. That guy, he was prosecuted or he's been charged. Has he gone through the whole trial?

I don't think he has at all. He should be mayor.

This is the guy that choked the guy to death. Yeah. Looks like he got him in a rear, naked choke, and didn't let go. What was the cause of death? Did the guy have a heart attack?

That's a good question.

Because a lot of times….

Rear naked is hard to kill someone. You've got to really hold on for a long time.

You've got to hold on for quite a while.

Yeah.

But you can't have a heart attack if someone's choking you.

And you'll feel it. The guy will get loose. You know he's out.

You remember the Eric Gardner case? Of course. That one made me sick.

The only person who went to jail was the photographer.

Oh, that's so crazy. Why'd he go to jail?

I don't remember what they got him for. But the cops had barely any consequences. The guy died for no reason.

The guy was just selling loose cigarettes.

Right.

I knew a dude who knew him.

It's horrific.

It's horrific. They try to pretend that wasn't a choke. Like, come on. You know how to choke people.

But even if it was….

You choked him.

He's selling cigarettes. Calm down. Loose cigarettes.

It's nothing. And it's like, what is it? It's interfering with the business next to it where he buys his cigarettes. What are you going to do? Right.

Right. And he wasn't in the store.

He's just selling loose cigarettes. Right. Like, if somebody doesn't have enough money for a pack of cigarettes, but they have enough money for two cigarettes, this guy will sell them two cigarettes.

And I also think it's insane to make cigarettes more expensive on purpose to screw with poor people.

They do?

That's the point. Wait a minute. They send taxes. Yes.

Oh. Oh, I see.

They want to make it really hard to buy cigarettes. Yeah. They want….

Well, it's just. they just know that people are hooked and they can just steal money from you. That's really what it is. They know you're hooked on cigarettes.

No, no, no. It's these good…. It's not the tobacco companies that are selling these prices. It's the governments. Right.

Oh, that's interesting. I think it's…. That's a nice excuse, for, we know they are going to keep buying cigarettes. It's a good way to generate revenue.

I don't think it's an excuse at all. This is the guy who banned Big Gulps.

Do you think he banned Big Gulps because of insurance companies?

No, I think he banned Big Gulps because he's a goody two-shoes and thinks he does best for everybody.

But when I hear things like that, I'm always like, okay, what's the financial incentive behind that? Because insurance companies could be like, you know what, people are dying all the time, and one of the big causes is obesity. And one of the big problems with obesity is people drink like Big Gulps. Like, this is why they made seatbelt laws. They didn't make seatbelt laws to make us safe.

No, I thought you meant they're going to say they made seatbelt laws because fatties can't fit into them. to wipe out the fatties. I'm like, all right, there's a eugenics thing going on here. I can see it.

No, it's…. I mean, they're trying to outlaw Big Gulps. I feel like, first of all, fuck you, right? If I want a Big Gulp, I know it's bad for me. You know, if you outlaw Big Gulps, but you don't outlaw that Dunkin' Donuts Blizzard thing, you know that one?

Oh God, what is it, like 1,500 calories?

No, no, no. It's probably like thousands, but it's 186 grams of sugar. Is that what it is? What is the…. It's so crazy.

It's like three Big Macs. And you think because you're drinking it, it can't be that bad. That's the thing.

Big Macs are way better for you.

Yes, which is crazy.

Big Macs are fucking like grass-fed meat.

Oh my…. The thing that's insane is that….

14 donuts.

I've had… How's that even…?

It's so crazy. They just filled it up with sugar. Jamie, see if you can find the video….

1,000 calories.

It's only 1,000?.

Holy…. It's just Vulcan.

And, dude, if you don't eat that way all the time…. Like, I had a milkshake. Like, a big-ass chocolate milkshake. I don't really do that most of the time. And it was like I got hit with a tranquilizer dart.

Well, for me, I have a big sweet tooth. But if I…. Sometimes I might go on a binge and just eat bags of gummy candy. I am wired.

Wired. for how long, though?

A while. It's a while.

But you don't crash afterwards?

Like, I go to bed. I do this for…. If I'm binging, I might as well go to bed. I don't binge during the day.

I've heard people say that, like, eating a high-carb meal before bed. I've heard people talk about doing that. They eat a high-carb meal so that their insulin spikes, and then they just fucking crash afterwards.

I don't have sleep issues, so I feel bad for people who do.

It's a rough thing to have, man.

I had Honey Smacks, cereal, and the first ingredient is sugar. And I'm thinking to myself, like, how are these being held together? Because they don't look like sugar cubes. It looks like grains. How is that even physically possible?

They're so good.

And then Sugar Golden Crisp, or whatever.

Well, we used to eat Frosted Flakes, and then we would put sugar on the Frosted Flakes.

I eat Lucky Charms still. They're really good.

It's fucking good, man. It's good. It should be legal.

And you mix it with your protein drinks. That way you get your protein.

First of all, people need access to real food, primarily. But, every now and then, a fucking Blizzard from Dunkin' Donuts should be on the menu. If you want to, you should be able to. It's ridiculous. But, like, if you want to have a- You know what I love?

But it's also kind of crazy, because, like, Tiramisu- I love Key Lime Pie. I love Key Lime Pie. I could have, like, three bags of candy. Like, it looks like, because it's cake, you think, oh, it's not that bad for you. Oh, it's filled with sugar.

Tiramisu is so much sugar.

But it's so good. Yeah, it is.

Oh, my god, it's so good. Those lady fingers that are dipped in espresso.

What about in those, all those steakhouses, where they're chocolate cakes, like, 1,500 calories a slice? And I'm like, how are you doing this mathematically?

American steakhouses, like, they are trying to kill you.

They're trying to get you-.

They're trying to stuff you as much as possible. Like, if you, and I mean it in the best possible way. But if you go to, like, in town, like, say, if you go to Eddie V's. Yeah. You go to Eddie V's, and you get the lobster, mash, potatoes, and the real- You can't stop eating.

They have the calorie counts at Eddie V's. Do they? Which is useful.

Well, my, if I don't have glasses on, I can't read that shit. They make it a little tiny, little tiny numbers next to the food. Get the fuck out of here. But if, you know, if you go to another country, they don't eat like us. Like, we eat like slobs.

Yeah.

You know, we have giant ass pizzas.

That's why you should go to Japan.

Oh, very much more disciplined than us. I had- You don't see fat people as much.

I had whale eight ways.

Oh, wow. There was really whale? Whoa, that's weird.

Apparently, whale is like a poor people food there.

Wow. But they're our homies. Why are you eating our homies?

Well, you're in Japan, you know. Gotta do as the Japanese do.

I wonder how smart they really are. Because people always say that whales are super smart.

Not necessarily ants do that. We don't think ants are smart.

Yeah, but we do. We do think they're smart. No, we don't. We think they're smart in a weird way.

Well, they're skilled.

It's not just they're skilled. They know how to make these chambers that ferment leaves. Sure. Like the leafcutter ants do?

I was watching about them last night. That's pretty creepy. You brought that up? Fucking incredible. Because there's a video about how did this evolve.

Right. So intelligence is not the right word. You're right. The right word is capable of incredible order. And they have a pattern in their mind.

What is it? There's some animal. Is it the puffer fish, where they gave them like Ritalin? Or they gave them like Lexapro something and the patterns all changed? Oh, wow.

Oh, yes. They definitely did that with spiderwebs. I saw them. There's a bunch of different things they did with spiderwebs. And one of them they gave it LSD.

I've got eight legs and eight eyes.

He remembers when he was like a shitty shopkeeper.

Oh, yeah. There it is. Thank you.

There. it is. So normal marijuana. Marijuana sucks. It's terrible.

Is that an upper? Benzed?

I don't know.

That's like a 70s thing.

That's not benzodiazepine, right? Benzodiazepine is Xanax. What's a benzedrine, Jamie? It's a cup. Caffeine.

What is chlorohydrate?

I have no idea.

What's benzedrine?

How weird is it that they picked chlorohydrate? Why wouldn't you pick alcohol?

Well, you'd probably kill it, right?

Maybe, right?

Sedative. Sedative.

Short-term treatment of insomnia.

So is benzedrine an upper? It must be. Benzos. That's a thing from the 70s. They were all on them.

Well, I think that's benzodiazepine, though. I think benzos...

It's an amphetamine. Okay, yeah.

Benzedrine.

Okay, yeah.

I don't think that's benzos, though. Is that a ben... What is a benzo?

A benzo's an upper.

Is it? I thought it was Xanax.

We're like school moms. Yeah, there's extra of the diases. Oh, the benzos are depressants. That's interesting. That's the Xanax.

So that's benzos, and people say the term benzos?

Or downers. Okay. What's a black beauty? Because that's what they used to take in the 70s.

Isn't that speed?

I think so.

A lot of guys took speed and played pool. It was a big thing. The guys would play on amphetamines.

I know, one time the Go-Go's took a bunch of downers, and they had to perform sitting down in chairs. Oh, that's what that is. Yeah.

Our lips are sealed.

Amphetamines. Okay, uppers.

Yeah.

Okay.

These guys who would play pool on it, they said it makes them see angles better.

Well, because it's speed. You see the edges. It's like Ritalin.

I've never done Ritalin.

No, or like Adderall. Excuse me. I've never done, Adderall. Neither have I. I'm scared of it.

I'm scared of that.

Why are you scared of focus?

Well, the same reason why I don't do it. I've never done cocaine.

We've never done cocaine?

No.

Haven't been to Japan. Haven't done cocaine.

First of all, sir, cocaine's illegal. Son of a bitch. Second of all,

No, you wouldn't.

Yeah, I'm sure I'd like it.

No, you wouldn't. Not. to the extent that people ruin their lives.

Oh, I wouldn't ruin my life.

It's the stupidest drug.

Yeah, I'm not really interested in ruining my life. But I would recognize that this is probably a lot of fun.

It's not.

But how come so many people say it is?

I don't know. It's not fun at all. For you. It's not. It would not be fun for you.

Have you ever heard the Buck Cherry song? Cocaine? All lit up? You know that song? No.

The idea of coke is a lot.

Let's play the song.

Yeah.

And this model went on stage. And she was telling her sober stories. And she was saying, I was just doing coke and just fucking all these rock stars. And he goes, Yeah!

I interviewed Belinda Karler from the Go-Go's. Because she was a coke head. And I said, Explain this to me. Because if it's a rock star, who's a dude, he's having coke orgies. with all these chicks.

Yeah. But some people love it.

I know you well enough to tell you, you're not going to like it. Good.

Thank you.

It's not.

I wasn't going to try it anyway.

Not even on a bucket list thing? Nope.

For the same reason why I won't try Adderall. Adderall seems much more.

That's all you would like. That's the problem. Because there's upsides.

Oh, okay. Yeah. The productivity part.

There's a lot of upsides. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, shit. Anything, Adderall, helps you understand. I've never done it.

Expand on that. So, Adderall, helps. you know how your brain's working?

You know how, when you're any kind of altered consciousness, you realize that your brain has a character of its own. And most people aren't introspective, just take their thoughts for granted. But people who work with psychedelics, things like that, realize, okay, there's ways I can have different perceptions, different focuses, different senses of self in relation to the world, things like that. Adderall, from my understanding, it's like that movie Limitless. It's based on Adderall.

I thought that was based on that other shit.

Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know either. Point being, when you take it, you supposedly are super focused, but you realize, okay, I can fine tune the speed of my thinking. So that's fascinating that your brain has, like a bike, has different speeds, if I'm using that metaphor correctly.

I just know way too many people that enjoy it on a regular basis.

Yeah, and I had a friend who got hooked on it, and she was like, this is bad.

It just seems to keep them going all day. Right. High achievers. Right.

Coke doesn't do that.

A lot of journalists.

And a lot of college kids now.

A lot of college kids. Yeah.

There used to be Coke heads when we were kids. Now they're on Adderall.

I've asked friends who've done it and gone on stage, and they said never again. Anybody who's ever gone on stage on Adderall, they're like, no.

Really, why? Yeah,

not having fun. Too tense.

Yeah.

Just not silly.

You're not loose. You're wired. You're clenching your jaw. Yeah, that's why I'm saying you wouldn't like Coke.

Yeah.

I'm surprised you don't want to just try everything once.

Eh.

What was that noise?

I'm busy.

Eh.

Eh. I got a Netflix special coming up. You can't try everything once, because you'd be trying too many things. There's not that many. And then you'd have to recover.

I agree with you as an anarchist, but then what happened in Portland, or wherever Seattle was, was a real problem.

Yeah, but that also coincided with terrible leadership, where the mayor was saying, when they took over, a giant swath of the city, that it was the summer of love. Remember that crazy shit? Those people were retarded. That whole fucking philosophy up there is so stupid, it's a suicide cult. They legitimately are going to destroy their society.

I hear you, but my point is, you and I both know a lot of people who are waiting for the psychedelics, right? And if psychedelics become fully legal, and corporations take over, there's going to be downsides.

I think if the corporations do the psychedelics, they'll probably have a different approach to how they interact with humanity. If the CEOs and all these people realize, like, you are going to die. And if you're wasting all your time trying to squeeze as much money as humanly possible out of every person that interacts with your company, you're not living a harmonious life. And it doesn't mean that you can't make a lot of money and sell things. But you can make a lot of money and sell things with a psychedelic capitalist perspective, where you're not trying to do evil.

I agree with everything you said.

Very utopian, though.

But I'm saying there's plenty of people who, if they start getting on these drugs and being introspective, they're not going to like what they see, and there's going to be a lot of things that come up, and it's not going to be an easy transition toward a better person for some of them.

And it'll be much harder to get a good burger.

I'm talking about these corporate people.

I understand. And also, even the corporate people.

Look what they did with Housewives and all the speed that they were on.

Oh, yeah, but that's the Housewives' fault. They liked it too much.

Yeah, but they were told this is a diet pill.

Well, better that or lobotomy. We only had a few options back then.

I don't think those were the two.

Mother's Little Helper, remember? From the Rolling Stones song? I mean, they stopped doing lobotomies in 67.. They were doing lobotomies for like 50 fucking years, scrambling people's brains.

They did it to Rosemary Kennedy.

Didn't they do it because she was promiscuous?

And also, she was kind of slow.

Oh.

And the thing with the lobotomy, did you know about this? You have to do it when the person's conscious. Yeah. So she had to count backwards, and then she stopped being able to talk. And then they pretended she was on sabbatical for 50 years, and then they did the Special Olympics because they felt bad.

Oh, my God.

Evil, evil family.

Well, it's an evil practice, that thing that they would do for people when they had troubles.

I love the idea. It's just so insane that, like, there's no precision, really. You're stabbing them in the head.

Scrambling brains.

And hoping you hit the right spot. That's not a thing.

I think they're going to look at that the same way they look at... the way they look at that now. They're going to look at sex change for kids in the future.

Yes. Oh, yes.

They're going to look at all this.

Munchausen's by proxy.

Also, there's clearly like a mind virus, and it is like a mind virus. I mean, that term, mind virus, it sounds like you shouldn't say that because a virus doesn't exist in the mind. It's a different kind of thing than an actual biological virus, but it has the same function. It really does.

Ideas go viral. Yeah, they do, right? That's the thing. The idea is going viral. The thing is, when you and I were kids, as dinosaurs, every girl, or 90% of them, had an eating disorder because she was uncomfortable.

Very common.

A lot of people didn't grow out of it, but most of them did. Now, if you're uncomfortable with your body, you're going to be shifted down in this direction, in many such cases. It's really just... Carol Markowitz, who's a journalist, she was a neighbor of mine in Brooklyn. She said a majority of kids in her daughter's class were identifying as some variant of queer.

It's so strange.

Strange isn't the word.

But it is also strange.

With eating disorders, you can get over it.

Right. This is going to cause permanent damage to people.

Did you see this evil demon from the LA Times? There was a woman, a girl named Chloe Cole, who was a detransitioner.

A vertebrate.

They had this whole hit piece on her. Oh, no. She's become beloved by the right. This is someone telling their real... She's not unique.

Could you imagine, if it was instead the right that was promoting this? How the left would react?

The right used to. It was a conversion therapy. This is their version.

Praying the gay away. Yeah. Yeah. But not as extreme in the sense that you're not doing surgery on people, especially on children, to give them hormone blockers. Right.

Right. Now, imagine.

if that was going on with the right here. They're saying, no, you can't be gay, but you can be trans and you can become a woman. Also... And so they're encouraging it and then profiting off of it and then shaming anyone that detransitions like that person. Imagine if that was all being done by the right.

The thing that's also crazy is that everyone who questions their gender is trans. No one just has issues with their gender.

Not only that, there's a lot of data that shows that if you let them just leave them alone and let them go through puberty and become an adult, they usually become gay.

Yeah.

And then a lot of gay people are like, hey, this is homophobic. This idea is homophobic. Like, this idea that these people are actually in the wrong body. Like, no, they're gay.

And I also talk about this a lot. There's this complete... insane, insane pretense that taking hormones, even the hormones of your own gender, has no downside. So if a male takes testosterone, he's not going to have any bad side effects. If a female takes estrogen, there's no bad side effects.

the blockers are the crazy thing. Because they are literally chemical castration drugs that they would use for pedophiles. It's the same drugs.

But also, Joe, the lie that you can just start puberty later.

It's a lie. Absolutely a lie. You will be altered forever. You will never develop.

As I am proof, if your growth is stunted as a kid, you don't get to grow your full height. later. There's a window. Same thing with learning language. These kids who are feral and raised by wolves, they don't later become scholars.

Right.

So the brazen lies of, well, you can just start puberty later, if that's what you feel like. I can't imagine this.

coming from the right. Imagine. So this is why people are so weird. Because...

And why is this politicized?

It's crazy. Right? It is crazy. Why is it politicized?

If there's kids who have mental illness of some kind, let's get them help. Right. And everyone's different.

Right. Everyone's different. And the solution isn't necessarily give a girl a mastectomy when she's 14.. That seems insane.

Do you know? there's... Yeah.

What?

And they remove, make you look like a Barbie or Ken doll. Oh, God. And Joe, you know why I made that, why I winced? Because you know it's here in Austin. The clinic is here.

Oh, my God.

This is what happens when you're friends with Deborah, so you learn about these things. Wait a minute, really?

It's called neuter? Yeah. How many people have they done this to?

I don't know. I don't know. It's here in Austin. The guy's very proud of himself. Oh, my God.

God, that's so weird.

No, it's very normal.

So this is like when you go to visit the Coliseum and you're like, what happened to these people? This is us. This is us. It's just. we're very fortunate to be in the middle of it and watching it all play out.

There's that meme of Jesus. Yes. Matthew McConaughey smudging the asteroid. Now he gets flooded again.

Oh, that's funny. I saw it sending the asteroid. I saw it the other day. I guess there's a bunch of those. Like, what the fuck, man?

It's when you're dealing... The thing is, the gas lighting is what bothers me.

Well, it all bothers me. It all bothers me the fragility of the human mind. You know, that we're... So everybody. forever was like, Kamala Harris is the worst vice president.

So... Ta-da! You've got me started, Officer Harris. So they've been doing this live for years. So in 2019, our pal Tulsi absolutely nuked her in that second debate.

Well, it just shows you that what they're looking for is not what they say they're looking for. Yes. Because she is a strong woman. She is a person who served overseas twice in a medical unit, so she got to see people blown up by the war. She was a congresswoman for eight years.

Because she's not for war.

Yes. Well, she's also just not willing to play ball. There's a game that's being played, and if you're like, hey, you're not supposed to fucking move the ball. Like, oh, look at this bitch over here. Like, get out of here.

Did you see that piece by Seymour Hersh that dropped over the weekend about the coup?

Yes. So explain to people what. Seymour Hersh... I don't know if he's right, but he seems to be right a lot, and he was right about the Nord Stream Pipeline, right?

So what I was saying, and a lot of other people were saying, is, the big issue is, how do you get Biden out of the White House? So here's Biden's case. He's like, look, I got Trump out of the White House last time. I'm only behind two or three points in the polls. Kamala's polling worse than me.

But if there was ever a time to invoke the 25th Amendment, wouldn't you think this is the time?

Sure, but I don't think they, hold on, hold on, here's the thing, let's talk about this. So, Seymour Hersh, who's been around D.C. since the 60s, I believe he wrote The Dark Side of Camelot, if I'm not mistaken. He had a thing on his sub-stack that goes, Biden got the call, and it was Obama, Pelosi, former Speaker of the House, Chuck Schumer, Majority Leader, Hakeem Jeffries, current House Minority Leader, Leader of the Democrats in the House, and they said, we got Camelot on board to invoke the 25th, if you don't drop the nomination, you know, that's what's going to happen. The thing is, you were saying, they're not invoking the 25th, he's still President.

Right, but I'm saying, if there was a time that they were going to do that, this would be that time.

It was that time four years ago.

Right.

It's been that time.

But clearly now, right? More than ever before, it's deteriorating. Why, because it's public? No, it's deteriorating.

I don't think he's gotten that much worse.

Oh, he's gotten a lot worse. There's a video that compares him from 2019 to 2024, it's a marked difference.

Yeah, but I don't think there's a big difference between 2022 and 2024.. There's like a two-and-a-half-hour compilation of the campaign in 2020, where he forgets Obama's name.

Yeah, that's true. He had those gaffes back then, but they're constant now. He's barely hanging on.

He was fine in the State of the Union. I think it's like sundowning, you know?

You think he's a body double?

That guy walked very differently than Biden. I saw that.

He's a lot taller.

It's on Scott Adams' Twitter. I saw that and I'm like, am I Alex Jones-ing today?

No, he's a lot taller. Yeah. No, he's physically taller and he walks way better. Like, as someone who, like you, watch Biden walk, he had a stiffness, like death was coming for him.

And before everyone freaks out, has their mousetraps and their heads go off, I think there should be more presidential body doubles, because one president almost got murdered. So if we have ways to keep them safe, let's use them.

Okay, that's a good thing to say. We'll cover our ass there. And now here's another thing to say. In the interest of national security, like, let's imagine a scenario where Biden is deathly ill and Kamala is not really capable of taking over as president right now. And there is, you know, like who's next?

Mike Johnson.

Mike Johnson, right? So that would be him next. So that's a dangerous moment in terms of national security. Even though everyone knows that Biden's, you know, really having problems and is not actually running the show, you know, I could see why they would want to use some body doubles for that. Of course.

This is the Weekend at Bernie's, like prequel.

Well, this is like.

This isn't the cliff I saw.

He's so much bigger. Look how big he is. He's so much bigger than Joe. He's so much bigger. Like he gained a legitimate six inches.

Jamie, there's one on Scott Adams' Twitter. This is from his Twitter. Oh, but let's watch. No, it's the one he's walking to the helicopter.

Let's watch this again. Yeah, that's another one. Yeah, that's another one. That's a similar one too. where you see, let's see it one more time.

Holy shit.

He towers over her. He didn't used to tower over her.

before I saw the other one.

And also, if you look, look at her, she's wearing high heels.

See? Oh, wow. Yeah, you're right.

See her high heels? Okay, and he's towering over her. That is a much taller person. So maybe they hooked him up with some fucking secret sauce. that's going to keep him going and he'll be back.

Oh, wow.

Take him back a decade or two. Giant difference.

Well, hold on. Is that because she could be behind him? No, listen.

She also has high heels on, man.

No, no, but on the left. it could be that she's standing.

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's a different human. Look at the size difference of the torso.

Them walking to the helicopter is the one where it looked really different.

Can I say that, please? Look at the size differences in the torsos themselves. From the top of his shoulders to where-.

Oh, look, how many buttons. Yeah, look at the white of the shirt.

Yes. Just look at the size difference. Look how much longer that human is on the left. Now, maybe Biden, listen, they might have some wild shit that brings you back from the dead. Like, medical science is getting, like, there's some people out there working on some wild stuff.

Wolverine juice is going to make it taller, but here's the thing. In the same way, in the 60s, if you sat on the show and said, Liberace is gay, people would yell at you because you've never seen him sucking a dick. People right now would be like, it's impossible. Why would they do a body double?

No, I don't think they would be. I don't think they would be anymore.

You don't think so?

You don't think there's.

a lot of people listening right now who think you're crazy?

My parents. Like, regular people, know.

Your parents don't listen to this show.

No, they don't. But if they did, they're boomers. They're full on. They're full on.

You've got to keep Trump out of the White House.

But what you're seeing right here, it really looks like a different person. Now, why are we saying that? Because it actually does look like a different person. We're not making something up, okay? I don't do that.

We were also told for years that these are selectively edited clips. And deep fakes.

No, they call them cheap fakes.

Yeah, cheap fakes. That's what she was.

calling them cheap. First of all, very expensive technology.

It took a lot of money.

to produce.

The cope with the debate, first I heard people say it was the fault of the lighting. I don't know what kind of lighting, unless it's some kind of space lasers. After his bedtime. But what kind of lighting makes you say we beat Medicare? Then people said the mic was fucked up.

Well, we can't gaslight. You know, we got, I know everyone's doing this, because this is how everyone's done this. I don't think you can do it this way anymore. I think this political gaslighting they do is genuinely bad for them. Not just bad for everyone and bad for the entire civilization, but genuinely bad for them.

You can't just say it.

Everyone knows, it's not true. God, so many people do and so many people your age and my age know. Yes. Alright, I think everyone who, like right now, everyone who's 40 and under is fucking super skeptical of all this. God damn, a lot of people do.

A lot, but not everyone.

You're right. You're right. You're right. I'm exaggerating, but there's many more than during, like, my parents' age.

when they were in their 40s. Infinitely more. You know why?

Yeah, social media. Elon. Elon, yes. That's a big part of it.

I always make this point. You don't need a majority, you only need an alternative. As long as there's one, like that little kid who said that emperor has no clothes. Yeah. As long as there's one outlet where you could be like, this seems a little weird, then all of a sudden the truth can come out.

The dude has literally saved free speech. Yes. And that sounds so stupid to some people that are against it. Like, oh my God, you think that Nazis and hate speech and blah, blah, blah.

And I'm also sitting here as a Jewish person who went to Jew school to tell you that the idea that you can't criticize George fucking Soros, who's a billionaire, because it's anti-Semitic is insane.

Well, that's the old Mossad tactic, right? The Mossad, there was a guy who was a Mossad agent who talked about this. Like, what they would do if they found out that there was a journalist who was saying Israel's attacking this. You label him an anti-Semite.

Yeah, but the point is they don't do this just anti-Semitism. There was racism, there was homophobia, and we're seeing it right now with Officer Harris. George Soros? No, what I'm saying is for George Soros to be anti-Semitic, you're anti-Semitic. Right.

What's really important is what can be unburdened by what has been.

I think of her as America's wine mom, because bitch seems like she's three deep by noon and she's got the three phases of wine mom. She's got happy drunk. Oh my god, this cereal's got a rabbit on it. It's so great. Cackling, cackling, cackling, cackling.

Do you think they have her medicated? Because there was a guy that was speculating that some of the things that she says, the way she's sort of disconnected sometimes and she goes on these rambles?

that it's indicative.

of certain anti-anxiety medication. I do not know if this is true. See if you can find that.

because I really shouldn't say that about our future president.

She's going to win.

No, she's not.

She can win.

She absolutely can win. I do not think she's going to win, because the more she talks like in 2020, how bad do you have to be that you can't even make Iowa? She couldn't even compete with the mayor of South Bend.

I feel like we are in this very bizarre time where people are giving in to the bullshit in a way that I never suspected people would before. And this is one. they just want no Trump, no matter what, and they're willing to gaslight themselves to think that. and, by the way, I think Hillary could win. If Hillary jumped back in.

I've been saying that for months.

If Hillary jumped back in. I think the problem was also the money, because there was. there was like $250 million in the campaign fund. that has to. it only works if she's on the ticket.

I've been saying this for a year in different shows and she would have won in pretty.

Michelle Obama could win too, if she wanted to do it. You don't think so?

I don't. I think that's kind of this. you sound like your parents. I think that's his boomerang idea. she doesn't want it.

I'm not saying that she would be awesome at it, but I think.

I think anyone can win of either party, whoever the nominee is. like you, pretty even Chris Christie could have won. if he's the Republican nominee, it's possible.

that Trump getting shot would like. that's it. election's over, but it's like they memory hold that so quick.

you would have thought Trump getting shot would have had four years eight years of corporate journalists talking about hate speech, causing violence. to be like let's take a step back. and that went for what a week?

They did take a step back for a little bit for a week and then they went right back at him.

you want to talk about this memory holding? yeah with the insanity that was Elon who put it up. if you google President Donald, it says President Donald Reagan.

no, I tried it. what happened? maybe they fixed it. it said President Donald Trump.

okay, well, he had a screenshot, so I'm sure he would have.

photoshopped. that I mean what it's based on a lot of things right? like what people are searching for. I would imagine that the assassination attempt on Trump would be the first one that you would see. yeah, assassination attempt on President, maybe Trump, because that's the most recent.

yes, but it's not and most newsworthy.

but it does show it. you just have to type it all in, which is interesting, because that little difference between what you can find and what you get presented immediately has a huge shift in the way people access information, and this is Robert Epstein's work.

the creepy line, the documentary. I want you to watch it.

yeah, and this thing is very real. and what it is is like. if you try to google certain negative stories, like negative stories on people, it will overwhelm you with positive stories. it'll take a long time before you get to the negative stories.

yeah, how he explained it is if you. here's how they can tip the scale. yeah, if I google Hillary Clinton and I have it, so Google gives fairly positive stories about Hillary as the first ten results. you're not going to go to the second page. if I google Donald Trump and Google gives you seven negative stories, it's going to move the needle a little bit toward her quite a bit.

quite a bit like if you're a person who's on the fence, you're like maybe Donald Trump's not a bad guy, and then you google him and then you start reading some of these like pieces that they've written about him. it'll change your perspective.

you really think she's going to win?

I'm not. I'm saying it because she could. I'm not saying because I think she's going to. I'm not saying because I want her to. I'm just being honest, like I could see her winning.

I don't think I think she's going to lose a lot of the blackmail vote. really? that's interesting. I don't think they're going to go in the booth and pull the lever for her, like they did for Biden, who was Obama's boy.

when Trump came out to 50 cent that many men wish death upon me. n-word and everything like didn't censor it out. everybody's like oh shit, he won. it was. it happened so quickly.

can I wait? I gotta tell you something else about him. he was on. who was the fox guy who just died? Stu Varney a couple years ago?

it's hilarious. what is this? Trump did not walk out to 50 cents, but rather the country. so is that fake? those videos are fake where he walks out.

I thought the guy was saying it in disbelief.

that's him going out to that song.

scroll down because it says under it there was an explanation in text. what does it say there? oh, it was not. it was just fake.

oh, they faked it. oh, damn it. now we know.

what he should do next time.

he definitely should have came out to that. that's hilarious. oh my god, that would have been epic.

because 50 cent was tweeting about him.

50 cent had his face at his concert, so he had. like you know, he has that image of him in the back and he put Donald Trump's head over his body.

but do you know? maybe that's fake too. there's a big sea change, because even three years ago, if you had said Trump kind of sucks, I don't really like him. he had no business being president. you're a Trump supporter because unless you say he's the worst thing to happen to America, you're a Trump supporter.

right, right, right.

so for Mark Zuckerberg to go on camera and be like this guy was kind of a badass, and that was awesome. and not to have any and to be feel safe to say that, not to have any negative consequences. that's a big deal in terms of the conversation moving.

well, I do not think that Mark Zuckerberg, from my interactions with him, was very comfortable with the FBI telling them to suppress the Hunter Biden laptop story.

let's talk about this because there's a lot of people who I don't blame them who think oh, boohoo, you're forcing me to do it, but he's happy to do it anyway. so you're saying that he actually it was like.

well, he brought it up. I mean when I asked him. I asked him what they did with it. he told the whole story. he didn't try to hide from it at all and he said they basically reduced the ability to spread.

you can understand, because if you on Facebook, which I

but it's recommended.

no, not recommended. I'm not a Facebooker for this reason. your feed, I don't see all my friends posts right, so if they just have it post 50% less, it's very easy to do.

right, I think that's Instagram as well. yes,

same company.

same sort of deal. yeah, yeah, I mean you see that with people, that's what shadow banning is right. it's difficult for people to see your shit right. they do that on purpose.

of course they do, and they can't do it by accident.

no, I mean it's a real thing. I don't know if he's comfortable with the government telling them to do something that turned out to be an actual true story.

is that what he said? no,

I mean I have to imagine. by him saying that that's one of the most badass things that I've ever seen, he's got a reasonable perspective, because it was one of those badass things. whether you love Donald Trump or not, let's pretend he's from another country. you have no stake in the game, that guy almost getting shot and raising his fist up like that. and there's so many fucking weird things about that story, the story of the assassination itself.

I tweeted this out. I wish the White House were freaking out about this as much about climate change, because this would be a big moment to be like whoa, whoa, whoa like this can never happen again. when Steve Scalise got shot, they were like and then went back to business, didn't shit happen?

also, why were they streaming it? they don't stream his campaign things.

they do it a lot.

do they do it a lot? oh yeah, they do it a lot? oh yeah, CNN does it a lot?

not CNN.

CNN did this one. yeah, yeah, I kinda added some problems to this too. what'd they say? they said they were unclear on whether he was actually shot, pierced by a bullet or a fragmented portion of one. oh so, it could have been a ricochet.

a shrapnel. yeah,

because I know there was something that got hit. there was a video that I saw of a railing that got hit, so it might have been a piece of the bullet that hit his ear.

but also how are we not seeing this kid's social media?

right. also, did you read the story about the examination of his house? that it was completely scrubbed. there was no silverware. it was like spotless, like a team went over it and scrubbed it.

if oh, wow, okay, yeah.

also did you hear the story about how someone using ad tracking so you know they can find out where you're going just based on ad tracking, and they found that someone from a building near the FBI offices was regularly visiting this kid.

back and forth? oh seriously?

yes, yeah, find that, Jamie. I just got the video about the house. I'm trying to see it.

we also don't even know how many of the.

we'll go to the video of the house first and then we'll go to.

but also just there you go.

we don't know. MK Ultra was a real thing. to think they don't do that anymore. oh, come on, I believe.

we had people that participated in that securing of it. there were bomb assets that we provided. Mr. Chairman, can I have 30 more seconds? yeah, yeah, I'm letting everybody count.

I guess maybe he's reporting on that report. yeah, he must be reporting on that report, so that's not. that's a very incomplete. remember the Las Vegas.

shooter?

yeah, that's a weird one too.

just stop talking about it, yeah.

there's a lot of those that you go. what the fuck is that? what is that? why'd they do that?

the fact that we're talking about January 6th for years, and this is just like yeah.

it's well. January 6th was a lot of people and the thought of it is.

but this is a presidential candidate. come on, I mean.

oh, it's all fucked. man, it's fucked. it's weird. the whole thing is weird. um, this kid had these devices and remote controls for detonators, like very sophisticated stuff.

wait. is that true? yeah, that I didn't know.

yeah, find that out. he had three encrypted accounts. I believe already. why? again?

I hear you, but the point is, I'm. this should be what CNN and Fox lead with every night. oh yeah, like this should be the scandal.

right. it should be like.

remember OJ? what is this? we knew about Judge. what was his name? was it Judge Alito?

well, we still don't know what's on the Epstein client list right.

or was it 80 congress people had sexual harassment suits that under seal?

how about the 51 intelligence former intelligence agents that signed off that the Hunter Hunter Biden laptop was bullshit?

and zero consequences for any of that zero.

the um bank account thing might not have been real. they might have backtracked on that. oh, did they? it just says that it might have been linked to an online gaming site or something that might have been a fake account. so why he has accounts?

yeah,

and he got off three shots before they shot him.

I heard he took horse paste.

no way. son of a bitch. what a lunatic. oh, he's definitely a right winger. interesting.

but he donated to some left wing. yeah, left wing.

oh, he donated to biden, I believe. um, the whole thing is really squirrely and it just makes you wonder.

what about that whole sloped roof bullshit, that's wild. what the fuck are you talking about?

that's wild. it's too dangerous to be on that sloped roof. meanwhile, they had snipers on another roof that was sloped.

even if not, it's like figure it out, it's the president.

yeah, I mean they had that kid. they were looking at him, they saw what he was doing.

here's the thing, though.

if they get him again in the same spot, this time they use a drone. the kid had iron sights on his rifle, which I thought was interesting. he did not have a scope, so iron sights are? you're lining it up like this

oh yeah, yeah, okay, I thought you said iron sights. okay, yeah, iron sights.

so he didn't have a scope, but it wasn't a long shot. it was like 150 yards and if he went center mass instead of a headshot, he probably would have killed him. I mean I don't know if trump wears a bulletproof vest.

that's a good question, probably at this point. hopefully he does.

hopefully he does. but if they, if that guy just shot center mass, he he'd hit him, he would have hit him. I mean you're dealing with the variance of this or variance of this right and so the.

bullet trump's a big dude.

if the bullet did nick his ear, it might have been a piece of shrapnel, who knows, but it definitely shot someone behind him and killed him. killed that one guy was a firefighter.

did you see joanne reid?

what'd she say?

biden survived, covid, so it's basically kind of like the same.

yeah, they, they're so gas lit up. they don't even know what the fuck they're saying. they don't even know how ridiculous.

it is, and jen saki's there just nodding like uh-huh, oh yeah.

same thing, basically the same thing.

because she knows better. so she's just like. oh shit like. i gotta kind of play ball, yeah.

jory's gem.

how does she have a worse hairline than joe biden? how is that fucking possible?

the whole fucking online pundit thing is so strange, or, excuse me, on television pundit thing is so strange.

in what way?

well, it's just like it's we.

it's so clear.

it's contrived. it's so obviously contrived.

joe, it's not obvious. when we were in the 80s, when hacksaw jim duggan got arrested with the iron sheik, people were like what they don't. he's not actually from iran, he's not a terrorist like. that was a moment, don't you remember?

yes, i do remember that.

so for a lot of people, if or they'll tell you you don't know that you know, this celebrity takes steroids to gain 60 pounds in three months for this movie. maybe he's just got great genetics and it's just like guys. but that's how people think. yeah, what's on their screen is they think their screen is a window right.

and they've been infantilized, yes, over decades, this bullshit being pumped in their face. it's so funny how few people even know what mk ultra was that the government really did try to make assassins.

and try to try to honesty on their own people. oh yeah, try them on all.

kinds of people.

i've said this i think, on this show, before, you can go after the president, the republicans, the democrats, the universities, journalists, whatever you want. only when you question cia, you're a crazy person. everything else is fine. it's on the table, cia. oh, you must be a crazy person.

yeah, you must be. they're looking out for your best interest.

and even if you told them google mk ultra or mockingbird and they look it up themselves, it still won't permeate.

well, they'll say that was then.

yeah,

they don't do that anymore. those are 60s people are just. there's a lot of oversight now.

there's racism. yes, a lot of racism, yeah.

there's oversight. now you can't do that anymore.

it's insane, you don't have to.

worry about it. yeah, i mean that's when people want to talk about what the deep state is. that's the deep state the people that can pull the strings, that aren't elected officials.

jagger hoover.

yeah,

he was more powerful. who was he accountable to? nobody.

did he really wear dresses and shit.

that's bullshit, bullshit, right. it's one of those things that they put out there and it's just bullshit. there's no source. this is after he died. it came out supposedly.

but you would think that someone's always going after someone's secrets, who want to have a few secrets of his own.

well, yeah, i'm sure he has some.

especially back then.

i'm sure he had some secrets.

so that was the ultimate one that he really is a crossdresser.

which is a good thing. you didn't put him on hormones right, or maybe it's a bad thing.

maybe he would have.

calmed himself down. he would be a lot nicer.

maybe yeah, or maybe we got hysterical.

calm down. so it's hysterical, like nixon bitch slapping him in the oval office.

maybe we should start really using some of that information that he has.

i want to make a plea.

okay.

to the president because i know he doesn't which one biden? joe biden. i know he doesn't listen to this show, but i know his staff does so. donald trump, at the libertarian convention a couple months ago, promised to free ross ulbricht if he gets elected.

did he really

yes, he made this. he made this commitment. so i'm saying to the biden administration now you can make a fool out of trump. you can take this issue off the table. it's probably going to be the margin.

there's a lot of weirdness in that case too right.

yes, there is.

there's a lot of weirdness in terms of entrapment.

yes, and he's been, he's, he's. it's as if he killed a bunch of people that have double life. it's crazy. so this is something that would be very easy for him to do and get a lot of people to support, or at least stay home and not support trump. so every vote counts.

silk road was a way that you could buy pretty much anything. it was like a.

black market website.

yeah, you could buy pretty much anything it's like.

torrenting, but with drugs and weapons.

and wasn't what? weren't there? murders for hire and stuff too.

i think there were. yeah, yeah, he's not been accused of that or charged it certainly.

was not one of the things that he had signed off on someone getting assassinated.

that's one of these rumors. that's not what they charged him with at all, no, and it's like if that was the thing, why are you charging with?

that what did they charge him?

with. i don't even remember what was it, jamie. it was some bullshit.

uh. albert was charged with engaging in a continuing criminal enterprise narcotics conspiracy, conspiracy to commit money laundering, conspiracy to commit computer hacking. on august 21st 2014, a superseding indictment added three additional charges of february 4th 2015. oprah was convicted on all counts after a jury trial that had taken place on january 15 2015.

double life plus 40 years, without possible for all.

two life sentences plus 40 years.

nine years he's been in jail now.

so just in case science comes along and they can keep him alive forever over, he's also ordered to pay about 183 million in restitution, based on the total sales of illegal drugs and counterfeit ids through silk road. wow, that's crazy. so even if he gets out, he's got to pay 183 million dollars in restitution.

i don't know if he has to do that.

holy fuck.

and he was not charged, was not.

charged in his trial in new york federal court with murder for hire, but evidence was introduced at trial supporting the allegations. the district court found a preponderance of the evidence that albright did commission the murders. so it seems like he did commission the evidence that albright had, according to them, had commissioned murders, where it's considered by the judge in sentencing to albright to life, and was a factor in the second circuit's decision to uphold the sentence.

he wasn't charged with it. right, he's been there.

crazy, though, that they don't charge him with it, be it they use it as a consideration. that's kind of crazy.

that is crazy.

are you allowed to do that?

apparently, if you have the evidence for that, put it up and let him be tried for it. and i gotta tell you, i don't think that's gonna get you double life in any other case.

and isn't he like a yoga teacher now?

he teaches people how to read.

yeah,

he's like a model prisoner.

yeah, he fucked up.

let him out.

you know this idea of like you wanna have total freedom and we're gonna just circumvent the system and do it online. they just wanted to squash that and put as much water on that fire as humanly possible.

and the points been made. yeah, so he's served his time. mr. president, please let him out right now.

why do you have um the hellraiser box?

oh, i wanted to give me. and um, this is from cabin the woods. you ever see cabin the woods.

the movie yeah.

that's pornicus's orb.

oh, that's a fun movie.

i have these normally in my bedroom, obviously.

oh so, you put them here for your vibe. yeah, oh, no, really yeah. yeah. that's so bizarre, is it? why do you have the hellraiser box?

because it goes well with the orb.

is it functional? the hellraiser box.

no, but this one is move around.

oh, it is.

dysfunctional. what does that do here? careful, though. okay, it's not cheap.

what does it do? oh, it moves around, yeah, and does it open.

careful, careful, you don't want to open a door. oh really.

how does this work?

well, you just do it. spin it around, yeah, and then doorways open.

oh doorways, we don't need that.

we don't need that.

imagine if, like some wild shit goes down like fucking malice and rogan. they opened up the doorway.

i think it would be like a fucking malice that they knew.

opened up the fucking door. yeah, the hellraiser box clearly satanic.

lament configuration.

that's it.

that's the orb.

oh wow,

well, he was the lord of bondage and pain from the movie. he's a cenobite, obviously, yeah.

cabinet in the woods was a fun. i love that movie. it was a fun movie.

that's josh whedon, was it really? yeah, it was like a love letter to horror movies.

oh, it was a good movie.

sigourney weaver was excellent. i don't want to spoil it, but sigourney weaver is in and she's superb. it's also.

it really straddles the line between silly and actually scary. it does really well, it's like.

it's a movie for the fans. yeah, like you watch, you're like. okay, this guy's talking to me through the screen like it's.

yeah, it's like you have to love horror movies to really love that.

because there's so many easter eggs, you gotta sit down and be like who's this? who's that? oh, he's a cenobite. that's what that reference is.

werewolves yeah, yeah, fun ass movie.

yeah, i love that.

so that's why you brought these things, so you always have that in front of you when you work.

no, it's in my bedroom.

oh okay, right where you sleep.

that's where i sleep.

where you rest your head. you put that on one side.

that's how you do it. they're on the nightstand.

the same nightstand or opposite.

the same nightstand

is that the one you stare at before you close your eyes.

i don't when you say

your spells.

and that's how i laugh and then i go to sleep.

well, there's so many people online because everyone's so skeptical and because conspiracies are so fun. everyone thinks that everything is satanic.

yes, you know everything.

like that was what people thought about the prince charles painting, or king charles. i like the king charles painting, like someone's fucking with him, like that guy's, like that's a subtle dig on the history of the the uk empire.

it looked like it was something on a hot topic.

it looks crazy.

yeah,

but, like people, try to find like baphomet in there. if you're you know, turn it upside down, wait, wait.

you know how. you know the guy was fucking with him because he left his sausage fingers in there. you know how he's got really fucked up hands.

he does.

like jamie, pull up king charles hands. it's insane.

oh, they're like inflamed.

they're like sausage. it's like in that movie with, uh, everything everywhere, all at once like yeah.

oh wow,

yeah, yeah.

that's, he's probably got a disease.

yeah, you think.

jesus christ, that's so inflamed. yeah god, that's so unhealthy. what's wrong with his hands?

i don't know. oh, sausage fingers.

wow, let's scroll up so you get a look at that. they didn't even show it. they just show a picture of him. let's see the hands. that looks fairly okay, a little swollen.

i feel bad for camilla. they can't feel nice.

ew, um, you're gonna do you think they still do it?

of course, don't you. they've got to be, they're all perverts.

you think so?

the royal family.

are they all perverts? they're all perverts, really, of course.

oh, this is such a thing with like aristocracy. they're all. that's why they're. they're not having sex with kids because they like it. they're having sex with kids so they can.

the aristocracy has sex with kids.

so we just. what's his name? prince philip was on that. was it philip? no, not prince philip.

wait a minute. that was his excuse. i don't sweat anymore.

it was some weird thing about, like. the story can't be true, because i don't sweat, yeah.

huh, one of the duke of york's claims in his news night interview was that he cannot physically sweat. let's find out, bro. let's put that bitch in a sauna and see if he's a liar.

yeah, so there was there you go, virginia guffrey.

just tried dancing with you and you're profusely sweating and then she went on to have a bath. possibly. prince andrew replies there's a slight problem with the sweating because i have a peculiar medical condition which i don't sweat, or i didn't sweat at the time and that was.

wait, can you get the clip of him saying this? because it sounds so crazy? didn't sweat at the time.

because i had suffered what i would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the falklands war when i was shot at. oh, that's a good way to divert.

you are around. you have seen guys all the time. i couldn't be sweating. their adrenaline is through the roof because they are in a life and death situation. they all sweat.

right, but there is a medical condition where you don't, the guy who does that sculpture out there, the sea monster that you saw, he can't sweat. it's really bad.

he was in the falklands.

no, no, no, he just has a real condition.

yeah, but that's a thing, but that's not something you develop.

right. well, i don't know if you can develop.

you can't develop for getting shot at joe because trump can't sweat anymore.

i mean maybe it just rarely happens when someone blows a fuse.

oh god.

i'm not. i'm just. i'm not a doctor, i'm not like an apologist.

for this sweaty mother fucker.

i think he's sweating right now.

or we just turn up the air.

according to this doctor. in this article he says okay, a physician, dr. james handman, wrote in the atlantic at the time in case of, in case, the dubious claim. the dubiousness of this claim is not already evident from its context. nested in a sea of dubious claims, this is a dubious claim.

anhydrosis yeah.

anhydrosis extremely undesirable. the function is vitally important, a way to cool the body down. mick vader, the guy who does all the kill, tony and mothership stuff, he has that too. so two guys. i know both guys named scott, oddly enough scott, who made the incredible artwork, and then scott, the mick vader, who does other incredible artwork.

you can't develop it, and certainly not from adrenaline. it's a thing.

it's a genetic thing.

like some people, can't feel pain, which is really bad.

it's not a temporary condition such as hamlin. as concludes, a temporary inability to sweat would defy medical precedent, okay.

so it's bullshit. it's bullshit, pure bullshit, yes.

he just wanted to make that as a nice like look. by the way, i got shot at falcon war.

i couldn't have raped that girl. i was shot in the war. i don't sweat. yeah, i also don't believe he was shot at.

probably wasn't.

they're not going to put the prince in the line of fire in the falklands.

maybe he's like that dude from nbc.

brian.

yeah williams.

oh yeah, what about hillary?

yeah, she was one too.

i was on a sniper fire. yeah, the first lady is going to be on a sniper fire. yeah, okay,

yeah, that was a weird one, right?

yes, weird.

saying you can't sweat is so crazy, because they could find out so easy. if you sweat like, it's not like a difficult thing. well, sir, did you mind sitting in the sauna?

but it's also like maybe she got. let's pretend, let's just take it at face value. she could have gotten that aspect of the story wrong. doesn't mean you weren't there with her. it's like she would misremember that you were sweating.

she just think you stunk.

so she thought you were sweating.

she said she misspoke and last week she gave a dramatic description of her arrival in bosnia 12 years ago. we're counting a landing under sniper fire.

and she had to duck and run okay.

she said so if i misspoke, that was just a misstatement.

that's a lie.

i say a lot of things, millions of words a day. so if i misspoke, that was just a misstatement. so if i make an incantation, that summons beelzebub and he rises from a crack in the earth.

well, you got the.

that was just a misstatement. i say millions of words a day. if you put a million chimpanzees for a million years typewriters, they'll make the works.

why would beelzebub come from a crack in the earth? you know he's lord of the sky.

i remember landing under sniper fire. there was supposed to be some kind of greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we ran with our heads down to get into vehicles to get to our base.

and there is footage of her landing and they're giving her flowers and it's kids. it's not like it wasn't on video.

both clintons held their heads up and did not appear rushed. so the video oh yeah.

presented her with a poem yeah.

eight year old bosnian girl presented her with a poem and later greeting u.s. troops. so it's just she you believe that thing about all the monkeys? you leave them alone with the typewriter for a million years. they compose all the works of shakespeare.

yeah, that's mathematically definite, but what do you mean here?

i don't believe it.

what do you mean?

i think it's gonna be all fucked up.

but if you do it long enough, infinitely every person.

who's gonna edit that? you'd have to find all the works of shakespeare.